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What if your child as an adult, worked in the porn industry?

 
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 11:47 am
shewolfnm wrote:
shewolfnm wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
DrewDad wrote:

Porn is about being de-humanized.


Absolutly not. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.


oh my.. we dont agree.. :-)
this'll be pretty cool..


Ok, so if porn isnt about the fantasy of being de huminized , being made in to a sex slave .. and all about the ' money' shot...
what can it be about?

I mean.. i agree.. it isnt 100% about that. No way..
but the majority is..
It plays into the fantasy of male dominance, and the fantasy of a woman being always ready willing and sometimes anal.. ( PUN intended )


Fantasy and de-humanization are two very different things. Being the dominant one does not always de-humanize the other person. In every relationship, there is a more dominant partner. No matter what. There is no such thing as a perfect 50/50. So every relationship is de-humanizing to the less dominant partner?
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:03 pm
I have no problem with casual sex for the sake of casual sex.

I'm saying that the porn industry, to a great degree, is not about just casual sex.

Are there well-adjusted porn actors/actresses? Perhaps. But I suspect they're in the great minority.

It makes sense to me that someone who was abused (especially a male) might choose porn. No emotional investment. Control (public control) of one's sexuality. But it's not, IMO, a well-adjusted choice. It's getting around, not working through, one's problems related to the abuse.
0 Replies
 
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:04 pm
I can honestly say that Bear and I have a 50/50 relationship. That doesn't mean one of us doesn't dominate at some point, but we take turns. And, I don't mean in the bedroom.

Sometimes he's dominant, and sometimes I put my hand up and and let him know we need to switch places. Sometimes I don't feel like being the "bad" parent, and sometimes I relieve him of that responsibility. Sometimes he makes more money, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I cook, sometimes he does. And, in an argument it's usually a draw, or we take turns letting the other one win if it's an issue we know the other has very strong feelings about.

THEN we go to the bedroom! Laughing
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:06 pm
squinney wrote:
I can honestly say that Bear and I have a 50/50 relationship. That doesn't mean one of us doesn't dominate at some point, but we take turns. And, I don't mean in the bedroom.


Well, yeah. That's what I mean. It can't be a perfect 50/50, even if it's a well adjusted relationship, which I can assume through posting that you and Bear have.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:07 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
shewolfnm wrote:
shewolfnm wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
DrewDad wrote:

Porn is about being de-humanized.


Absolutly not. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.


oh my.. we dont agree.. :-)
this'll be pretty cool..


Ok, so if porn isnt about the fantasy of being de huminized , being made in to a sex slave .. and all about the ' money' shot...
what can it be about?

I mean.. i agree.. it isnt 100% about that. No way..
but the majority is..
It plays into the fantasy of male dominance, and the fantasy of a woman being always ready willing and sometimes anal.. ( PUN intended )


Fantasy and de-humanization are two very different things. Being the dominant one does not always de-humanize the other person. In every relationship, there is a more dominant partner. No matter what. There is no such thing as a perfect 50/50. So every relationship is de-humanizing to the less dominant partner?

Porn isn't a relationship. It's the antithesis of a relationship. So yes, I do think that porn is de-humanizing to a large degree. I'm not saying it always is de-humanizing, but, IMO, mostly.

There are female directors and producers in the porn industry. They make high-production-value films where the women are treated with respect. Not a huge demand for these, though.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:09 pm
DrewDad wrote:
I have no problem with casual sex for the sake of casual sex.

I'm saying that the porn industry, to a great degree, is not about just casual sex.

Are there well-adjusted porn actors/actresses? Perhaps. But I suspect they're in the great minority.

It makes sense to me that someone who was abused (especially a male) might choose porn. No emotional investment. Control (public control) of one's sexuality. But it's not, IMO, a well-adjusted choice. It's getting around, not working through, one's problems related to the abuse.


Why do you insist on saying that people are not well adjusted if they choose a life of porn? Do you think medical examiners are well adjusted? I mean, who in their right mind wants to slice open bodies at 3am?
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:11 pm
DrewDad wrote:


Porn isn't a relationship. It's the antithesis of a relationship. So yes, I do think that porn is de-humanizing to a large degree. I'm not saying it always is de-humanizing, but, IMO, mostly.

There are female directors and producers in the porn industry. They make high-production-value films where the women are treated with respect. Not a huge demand for these, though.


I know porn isn't a relationship. And I've seen enough porn to know that a lot of it isn't de-humanizing. I don't know what porn you're watching but I worked in a video store and 75% of the porn was just straight up porn. Not bondage, not weird "de-humanizing" acts, just straight up sex like real people have in their bedrooms.
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:20 pm
How do I explain to you people that my niece is a perfectly content young lady. She entered into the adult film industry of her own choice. This was a person who graduated at the top of her high school class and went on to an Ivy League college which she also did well in. She earned her degree and for her own reasons chose to go into the line of work which she did. She did not go into this area of life because the world was mean to her.

She has never been into drugs or alcohol, attended church, was involved in extracurricular activities, worked a part time job throughout her college years and with a Masters in her hand and a family which has always been supportive of her announced her intents.

Since that time she has married a man whom she loves, has 3 children and now works part time at a travel agency. She seems to be quite well adjusted.
0 Replies
 
logicalunit42
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:22 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
squinney wrote:


Outside of a relationship, where it is just sex for the sake of feeling good, there is no respect, trust or love.


So?


i hope you dont have any children
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:23 pm
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
squinney wrote:


Outside of a relationship, where it is just sex for the sake of feeling good, there is no respect, trust or love.


So?


i hope you dont have any children


Why?
0 Replies
 
logicalunit42
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:26 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
squinney wrote:


Outside of a relationship, where it is just sex for the sake of feeling good, there is no respect, trust or love.


So?


i hope you dont have any children


Why?


if you encourage them to have no respect, trust or love they're going to run into probelms.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:29 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
DrewDad wrote:
I have no problem with casual sex for the sake of casual sex.

I'm saying that the porn industry, to a great degree, is not about just casual sex.

Are there well-adjusted porn actors/actresses? Perhaps. But I suspect they're in the great minority.

It makes sense to me that someone who was abused (especially a male) might choose porn. No emotional investment. Control (public control) of one's sexuality. But it's not, IMO, a well-adjusted choice. It's getting around, not working through, one's problems related to the abuse.


Why do you insist on saying that people are not well adjusted if they choose a life of porn? Do you think medical examiners are well adjusted? I mean, who in their right mind wants to slice open bodies at 3am?

I don't have any info on medical examiners. I imagine it might appeal to certain personalities who are detail-oriented and don't like to deal with patients. I mean, all medical interventions are mere delaying actions. Why not go straight to the end result?
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:30 pm
Where did you get that I would encourage my children to have no respect? You don't respect those who have chosen a life in porn so I guess I hope you don't have children either, they way you'd be teaching them to judge people. Rolling Eyes

Not to mention, where did I say anything about trust and love? I have a very loving and trusting relationship. I grew up with the example of my parents.

Also, teaching a child to think for themselves is important and that's what my parents did. I don't disrespect marriage or the trust of a friendship and yet I am open minded enough to think that maybe people have good reasons to be doing something that doesn't harm anyone (and if you say it does, I will say that it isn't the porn that's causing the trouble.)

You are stretching hard for a reason why I am a bad parent.
0 Replies
 
logicalunit42
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:32 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
Where did you get that I would encourage my children to have no respect? You don't respect those who have chosen a life in porn so I guess I hope you don't have children either, they way you'd be teaching them to judge people. Rolling Eyes

Not to mention, where did I say anything about trust and love? I have a very loving and trusting relationship. I grew up with the example of my parents.

Also, teaching a child to think for themselves is important and that's what my parents did. I don't disrespect marriage or the trust of a friendship and yet I am open minded enough to think that maybe people have good reasons to be doing something that doesn't harm anyone (and if you say it does, I will say that it isn't the porn that's causing the trouble.)

You are stretching hard for a reason why I am a bad parent.


depends on your definitno of bad parent. not teaching them anything is good? depends on what your definitino of good is.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:33 pm
DrewDad wrote:

I don't have any info on medical examiners. I imagine it might appeal to certain personalities who are detail-oriented and don't like to deal with patients. I mean, all medical interventions are mere delaying actions. Why not go straight to the end result?


Medical examiners are the people who perform autopsys. They get to use fun tools like these:

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/autopsy-15.jpg
http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/autopsy-16.jpg
Bone saw - used to cut through bone or skull
Breadknife - used to shave slices off of organs for examination
Enterotome - special scissors used to open the intestines
Hagedorn needle - a heavy needle used to sew up the body after examination
Hammer with hook - used to pull skull cap off of skull
Rib cutter - special shears used to cut through the ribs
Scalpel - like a surgeon's scalpel but with largest blade possible for making long deep cuts or scraping away tissue
Scissors - used for opening hollow organs and cutting vessels
Skull chisel - used for helping to carefully pry the skull cap off
Stryker saw - the electric saw used to cut through the skull to remove the brain
Toothed forceps - used to pick up heavy organs


Now, would a "normal" person want to do this? THis isn't detail oriented. This can be downright disgusting. Nothing like sawing a persons head open and putting their brain on a scale next to you. Or boiling a skull in order to clean it for face reconstruction? Or having to crack the rib cage of a person to get to their innards?

I thought this was a fun exerpt:
Quote:

We don't always use nice, delicate, surgical tools. If you put the word medical or autopsy on something, the price triples, so ... I can go to a restaurant supply house and get some good knives that cost me just a fraction of what it would cost to buy them elsewhere.

Autopsy tool shopping doesn't stop at the restaurant supply house. The medical examiner may also visit a hardware store for supplies. Dr. Kiesel continues:

... things like pruning sheers tend to work better than surgical bone cutters for cutting through ribs. You know, a scalpel blade's only got an inch, inch and a half worth of cutting surface, whereas you can get a good, long knife that's got a 6-to-8-inch blade on it so you can cut more and faster.
... we're not doing very delicate surgical procedures where we have to worry about if we nick the wrong thing somebody's going to bleed. So, our tools aren't quite that delicate, but we can still do some reasonably sophisticated things ... It's not like doing delicate microsurgery.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:34 pm
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
Where did you get that I would encourage my children to have no respect? You don't respect those who have chosen a life in porn so I guess I hope you don't have children either, they way you'd be teaching them to judge people. Rolling Eyes

Not to mention, where did I say anything about trust and love? I have a very loving and trusting relationship. I grew up with the example of my parents.

Also, teaching a child to think for themselves is important and that's what my parents did. I don't disrespect marriage or the trust of a friendship and yet I am open minded enough to think that maybe people have good reasons to be doing something that doesn't harm anyone (and if you say it does, I will say that it isn't the porn that's causing the trouble.)

You are stretching hard for a reason why I am a bad parent.


depends on your definitno of bad parent. not teaching them anything is good? depends on what your definitino of good is.


Again, you are stretching. Where did I say I wouldn't teach them anything?
0 Replies
 
logicalunit42
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:35 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
Where did you get that I would encourage my children to have no respect? You don't respect those who have chosen a life in porn so I guess I hope you don't have children either, they way you'd be teaching them to judge people. Rolling Eyes

Not to mention, where did I say anything about trust and love? I have a very loving and trusting relationship. I grew up with the example of my parents.

Also, teaching a child to think for themselves is important and that's what my parents did. I don't disrespect marriage or the trust of a friendship and yet I am open minded enough to think that maybe people have good reasons to be doing something that doesn't harm anyone (and if you say it does, I will say that it isn't the porn that's causing the trouble.)

You are stretching hard for a reason why I am a bad parent.


depends on your definitno of bad parent. not teaching them anything is good? depends on what your definitino of good is.


Again, you are stretching. Where did I say I wouldn't teach them anything?


you said they should form their own opinions. you're stretching.
0 Replies
 
Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:36 pm
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
Where did you get that I would encourage my children to have no respect? You don't respect those who have chosen a life in porn so I guess I hope you don't have children either, they way you'd be teaching them to judge people. Rolling Eyes

Not to mention, where did I say anything about trust and love? I have a very loving and trusting relationship. I grew up with the example of my parents.

Also, teaching a child to think for themselves is important and that's what my parents did. I don't disrespect marriage or the trust of a friendship and yet I am open minded enough to think that maybe people have good reasons to be doing something that doesn't harm anyone (and if you say it does, I will say that it isn't the porn that's causing the trouble.)

You are stretching hard for a reason why I am a bad parent.


depends on your definitno of bad parent. not teaching them anything is good? depends on what your definitino of good is.


Again, you are stretching. Where did I say I wouldn't teach them anything?


you said they should form their own opinions. you're stretching.


They should form their own opionions. You have no idea what you are taking about, do you? I love it.

That's why this country is in such trouble. We don't teach our kids to use their brains. We are a country of sheep. Followers who can't stand up for our beliefs so we just bitch and moan that things aren't fair.
0 Replies
 
logicalunit42
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:38 pm
Bella Dea wrote:
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
logicalunit42 wrote:
Bella Dea wrote:
Where did you get that I would encourage my children to have no respect? You don't respect those who have chosen a life in porn so I guess I hope you don't have children either, they way you'd be teaching them to judge people. Rolling Eyes

Not to mention, where did I say anything about trust and love? I have a very loving and trusting relationship. I grew up with the example of my parents.

Also, teaching a child to think for themselves is important and that's what my parents did. I don't disrespect marriage or the trust of a friendship and yet I am open minded enough to think that maybe people have good reasons to be doing something that doesn't harm anyone (and if you say it does, I will say that it isn't the porn that's causing the trouble.)

You are stretching hard for a reason why I am a bad parent.


depends on your definitno of bad parent. not teaching them anything is good? depends on what your definitino of good is.


Again, you are stretching. Where did I say I wouldn't teach them anything?


you said they should form their own opinions. you're stretching.


They should form their own opionions. You have no idea what you are taking about, do you? I love it.

That's why this country is in such trouble. We don't teach our kids to use their brains. We are a country of sheep. Followers who can't stand up for our beliefs so we just bitch and moan that things aren't fair.


yeah, but being a bad influence can make them feel bad and cause emotional damage. you can agree with certain statements but not teach them to your children.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 12:39 pm
LOL.

I know what a medical examiner is. I just don't have any knowledge of who they are.

Removing each individual organ, measuring it, weighing it, taking and labeling samples, collecting forensic evidence, putting everything back together when one is done is not detail oriented?

I personally wouldn't have any problem with this (Except for the going-through-medical-school part; I don't have 10 years of my life to devote to it.). Dead bodies are nothing more than very complex engines that don't run anymore.
0 Replies
 
 

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