The A2K (virtual) Weight Loss Club !!

I have an issue.

Im more than aware that I am overweight.(5ft 7" between 12-13 stone)

My mum and i started doing sports together this weekend in a start to lose weight and we are also trying to eat well.Eating well is tough but Ive had less and less snacks the last week or so and its been fine(I had fruit last night instead of crisps and chocolate)Also I love the sport we are doing so im happy to do that.

Last night me n mum were chatting about what we are doing and she said 'you really do need to lose weight'.

I have to admit I seem to be really hurt by this.

Im very proud to say I have never been obsessed with images of supposedly gorgeous stick thin women in magazines.At no point do I want to look like Kate Moss or Naomi Campbell.But what annoyed me is that my mum seems to want to give me the 'hang ups' associated with being overweight.

I dont need my mum to tell me I need to lose weight.
If I did the same to her she would get in a mood.And as she has succesfully dieted before I feel like im being patronised.She said 'one day it will click into place and yourl realise what you have to do to lose weight'.
All these insults are niggling at me and I need to cheer myself up and the only way I can do that is eating.Fortunatly I havnt eaten because of this so far.

Im quite thick skinned so Im absorbing what she says and trying to turn them into something good.But it seems to be bugging me.

Should I just take it?

Material Girl--



She's started nagging you about your weight for one of two reasons:

A) She's sincerely concerned about you and wants you to be beautiful.

B) She wants to bully you and be in charge of your life.

Which answer do you think makes sense.

MG,

A classic response to nagging (and one of which I'm guilty more than rarely) is to dig in ones heels and do the opposite.

Don't let your reaction to your mother's words sabotage your hard work. Obtaining and maintaining a healthy weight is important.

MG,my mom is exactly the same. I know she does mean the best, but it's still hurtful. Can't help the fumes that rise up and steam through my ears when she says "oh it's a pity that you don't let your beautiful figure show more. if only you lost a few pounds, you'd be so beautiful"... she sincerely does not realise that she's hurtful when she does say that...although she does when I tell her that it is. she knows that i know that she knows that i know... but it still happens. that's what mothers are for. love her for caring and tell her to be more respectful. she'll understand, too.

...not to mention that we have quite the opposite ideals of beauty. she wants me to look like a ballerina. lean and fragile girly fairy. i'd much rather look like Merryl Streep in River White - buff and sturdy. That I am, but I need to shed the extra cushioning. Perceptions of body images are way different from person to person, even from mothers to daughters.

But doesnt that fit in with the stereotype that fat people are ugly and thin people are gorgeous!!!

I understand what she is trying to do but its a really sh*tty way to go about it.

When I used to make things either clothes or craft I asked her opinion if I should change anything or add to it and her response would always be 'it would be a shame to spoil it'.Because apparently everything I touch turns to sh*t!!!

I think parents need to phrase their responses very carefully because it can scar for life.

Luckily Ive changed enough over the last few years.I dont argue with parents but if she says anything like that again Im going to say either 'can you quit it with the put downs' or ' if you say things like that I need to cheer myself up and the only way I can do that is to eat'.
Hopefully it will sink in one day.

But doesnt that fit in with the stereotype that fat people are ugly and thin people are gorgeous!!!

I understand what she is trying to do but its a really sh*tty way to go about it.

When I used to make things either clothes or craft I asked her opinion if I should change anything or add to it and her response would always be 'it would be a shame to spoil it'.Because apparently everything I touch turns to sh*t!!!

I think parents need to phrase their responses very carefully because it can scar for life.

Luckily Ive changed enough over the last few years.I dont argue with parents but if she says anything like that again Im going to say either 'can you quit it with the put downs' or ' if you say things like that I need to cheer myself up and the only way I can do that is to eat'.
Hopefully it will sink in one day.

MG Always remember that the thing other people criticise in YOU is the thing they have most hang-ups about themselves. She is really saying 'I need to lose weight'. So difficult not to take these things to heart, I understand, but try to CHOOSE not to be upset. BTW we are all guilty of that, parents I mean, my kids sometimes bring up the occasional thoughtless remark I made 15 years ago!

And Dagma, are we going to do our buddy-slimming? Home again now and delighted to find I have only put on 4 lbs in my travels, despite Linzertorte, steak and chips, ice cream at your favourite cafe in Bratislava, and other delicacies en route.

MG Always remember that the thing other people criticise in YOU is the thing they have most hang-ups about themselves. She is really saying 'I need to lose weight'. So difficult not to take these things to heart, I understand, but try to CHOOSE not to be upset. BTW we are all guilty of that, parents I mean, my kids sometimes bring up the occasional thoughtless remark I made 15 years ago!

And Dagma, are we going to do our buddy-slimming? Home again now and delighted to find I have only put on 4 lbs in my travels, despite Linzertorte, steak and chips, ice cream at your favourite cafe in Bratislava, and other delicacies en route.

Material Girl--

Mothers have been known to slip into time warps and lecture their grown children in a most annoying way.

She's not being deliberately mean--she's just trying to hang onto her youth by making lordly (ladily?) observations about your figure.

If she's under 45, this sort of behavior may improve. If she's over 45, be kind. She's practicing for Alzheimer's.

Hold your dominion.

Alzheimers!!! I hope not, she is petrified of getting old.She is over 45.

Nothing nsty has been said recently so Im feeling ok.
Tho I tried on some trousers this morning and they are very tight so I started the day feeling crud but it also kicked my butt into the diet side of things.

171!

OK, I know it's probably transient, but it was great to see those digits on
the scale this morning.

Material Girl--

I've had an occasionally exasperating mother and I've been an occasionally exasperating mother.

I've learned to nag myself like an ideal, infinitely wise and patient mother.

That's your goal.

MG, have you got the moral high ground, by eating less/or more healthily than her? That helps one's self esteem no end, I find. Adds bite to the diet, so to squeak.

So about a year ago I decided to get in shape.
I weighed 244 pounds and wore size forty-two jeans.

I started slowly. First, I walked to the subway instead of using the bus.
Then I started walking to the next subway stop up the line to get in a little more distance.
I started skipping the morning scone at Starbucks and ordered the chef salad without dressing at the Lyric Diner for lunch prompting the owner to ask me if there was something wrong with the dressings they served.

Things went really well until one year ago today I went on vacation. You can read about the runs (I started running on that vacation!!) and the long walks I went on. It was a disaster. I gained eleven pounds in ten days. The invincible feeling that I had had before going had sunk me good.

Okay. Here's the good part.
Every other time I've done the same routine.
Get set to get in shape.
Get diet book.
Get going, fail.
Shrug.
Go back to being what I was before.

THIS TIME I HAD YOU. Or most of you. I don't often post here but I read this thread almost everyday. So this time I had the mantra:

Eat less-Exercise More.

So instead of shrugging, I kept slogging.

That's what I did. I didn't diet, but I didn't overeat. I added a lot more exercise to my life and continued to find ways of eating that were healthier. I joined a gym.

No killer exercising, just reps on the weight machines.
No assbusting on the treadmills or the parks, I am still the slowest thing on two feet on the island of Manhattan.

But here's where I am today:

200.5 pounds (and my arms and shoulders are harder)

size 38 jeans ( and they are a little big)

I've completed over ten events with the New York Road Runners and am one of 10,000 runners who will participate in the First Annual New York City HALF Marathon on Aug 27.

Yesterday, (remember I started walking a half a mile for exercise) I ran eleven miles in Central Park and only stopped because I had to get back to the apartment to send out the laundry.

Here I am finishing the Father's Day Five Mile.
I don't know why I look so sad.



Joe(I've never been happier and it's thanks to all of you)Nation

That's fabulous!!!

Eleven miles, yowza!

Wow Joe! What an inspirational post! Congratulations on your achievements.

Dayum! And I was just about to go get a snack. Well now I won't!

Joe

Hopefully you already know this, but if not, I think you are absolutly awesome.

:-)



she( just put down the cake) wolf

Wow, Joe Nation, I'm impressed too! I was just mentioning on another thread that I've been kinda lazy about excercising lately, so you're a real inspiration!

Good.....no.....Great job!

Stray (Getting Up And Doing Yoga) Cat