Weekly A2K News!!!

jespah wrote:

Kickycan and Ossobucco seen canoodling in Italy

Dateline: Rome

Heeheehee...

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Artist links up with gerbil
Artist links up with gerbil

A Newcastle artist has gone into partnership with her pet gerbil on her latest artwork.

See photo:
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1462528.html?menu=news.quirkies.eccentrics

Sally Madge's gerbil eating its way through a 1933 edition of the New Illustrated Universal Reference Book.

The gerbil, which has no name, is just doing what comes naturally, building its nest, at Sally's home.

But it is the unwitting star of an exhibition called The Gerbil's Guide to the Galaxy at Newcastle's Waygood Gallery.

On display are remnants of the 72-year old book, an empty cage containing a nest of book fragments and a video webcast of the gerbil in action.

Sally says she's fascinated in the gerbil's "personal translation" of the book by choosing particular words and phrases.

When the book is completely transformed, the shredded paper will be turned into a new piece of artwork.

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Man pulls car with ears while standing on eggs
Man pulls car with ears while standing on eggs

A Chinese man pulled a car with his ears while walking on eggs without breaking them.

See photo:
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1402280.html?menu=news.quirkies.eccentrics

Zhang Xingquan, ,38, pulled the car for about 20 metres in Dehui, Jinli province. His performance drew a big crowd of astonished onlookers.

Zhang said he began to learn the stunt when he was just eight-years-old.

He can also pick up a 25kg bicycle with his mouth while standing on eggs.

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Fred, listen up!
Fred, listen up!

Parrot helped catch robbers

A parrot has become a celebrity in El Salvador after it helped police catch a gang of robbers.

The robbers stole the parrot, named Paquita, in a raid on a house in San Salvador, reports Las Ultimas Noticias.

And when the getaway car was stopped by police for a routine check, the bird squawked: "Robbery! robbery!"

A police spokesperson said: "What a fantastic bird! It repeated what its owner said when she saw the robbers.

"It made us suspicious and we checked the car and found the stolen goods."

The gang was arrested and the parrot was pictured in all the country's newspapers.

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Intrepid wrote:

Christians Terrorized in New Jersey Park

Dateline - New Jersey

Several Christians were found scattered on a road in New Jersey today. Witnesses said that they were the victim of a ranting old man with white hair. He could be heared making incoherent remarks as he drove his car into the crowd that was preparing to have a picnic lunch on a grassy knoll.

Several of those at the scene rushed to provide whatever aid they could. Descriptions of the perpetrator were somewhat sketchy and some thought they saw the mark of the devil on the man's forehead. A wild eyed, tanned man was seen leaving the scene in what appeared to be a rusted out Lada.

Authorities are investigating all leads and have posted this picture that was taken by a bystander. They believe it to be of the suspect. Of course, that is just a guess.

LOL. ROFL.

Excellent piece, Intrepid!

Very clever.

Fact is, this article of yours is actually an improvement over the last time my avatar appeared in a thread.

That thread...was titled "What is evil?"

One poster simply posted my avatar as a response....without, as I remember it, any dialogue at all.

I loved that one also.

Does anyone have access to that other thread? I tried to find it in a search...but was not able to do so.

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Galileo Rides Again

For years now, A2K's Most Reverend Grand Inquisitor, Rothunda

http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/torch.gif

, has faithfully made it his mission to keep A2K a heretic-free zone.

http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/shutup.gif

The most recent upstart, a mental pygmie named "Inov8r," blasphemed the Great God Chaos by daring to claim that he detects Order in the Universe. (Our Most Holy Pope Darwin

http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/popesmiley.gif

is not amused. Experts at the National Scientistic Institute confirmed that this concept is as outdated as the dinosaurs.)

Rothunda was quick to condemn, but the pipsqueak nullity

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/aliens/alieneyesa.gif

, (an artist: can anything credible issue from an ARTIST????

http://web4.ehost-services.com/el2ton1/rofl.gif

) in effect gave him the

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/fingers/fing10.gif

.

Rothunda is currently preparing measures for dealing with this nefarious seditious element:

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/violent/sterb002.gif

and then

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/1271.gif

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Grrr - damn thing didn't work.

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gustavratzenhofer wrote:

WOMAN ACCUSED OF MURDERING SKUNK IN COLD BLOOD

Late yesterday afternoon an innocent skunk was crossing the road in middle America. An innocent, kind skunk who had ventured away from her nest to seek food for her babies. At approximately 4:15 a crazed-looking woman (photo above) emerged screaming from a nearby house and wielding a large kitchen knife. Before the skunk had a chance the woman was upon it. Death came quickly.

The woman is being questioned by local authorities and the young skunks have been placed in a foster home.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. I expected better journalism from you, Gus. Next time, check your facts. It was a sledgehammer, not a knife. <shaking head>

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jpinmilwaukee leaves Milwaukee; residents stunned

Dateline: Any place that isn't Milwaukee

Local residents were flabbergasted today when jpinmilwaukee announced that, in fact, he was leaving Milwaukee and heading to greener pastures.

Some said he would be heading to Milton, Massachusetts, whereas others favored a Miller Place (Long Island), New York theory.

Still others suggested he would be hanging around with the ghost of Millicent Fenwick (R-New Jersey). There is a small school of thought which favors Buffalo, NY, where Millard Fillmore (not a good President, but he had great hair) is buried.

Miller Brewing company reports that a shadowy figure has been seen lurking near the hops tanks. Hence it is this reporter's opinion that the elusive jpinmilwaukee might still be somewhere within the city limits, but difficult to find, so a name change to jpnotsoobviouslyinmilwaukee may very well be in order.

Mildred Natwick could not be immediately contacted for comment, probably because she shuffled off the mortal coil in 1994. This newspaper is currently seeking a séance coordinator to assist the reporting staff. Equal opportunity employer. Full benefits, odd hours, must provide own crystal ball and table. Inquire within.

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More, please! Very Happy

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jespah wrote:

jpinmilwaukee leaves Milwaukee; residents stunnedMiller Brewing company reports that a shadowy figure has been seen lurking near the hops tanks. Hence it is this reporter's opinion that the elusive jpinmilwaukee might still be somewhere within the city limits, but difficult to find, so a name change to jpnotsoobviouslyinmilwaukee may very well be in order.

Shhhhh... with Miller sales up and a not to be named St louis brewing company sales down... there are people willing to pay for certain brewing secrets such as what exactly makes it taste great and less filling. And exactly which one is better anyway?

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Frank Apisa wrote:

Fact is, this article of yours is actually an improvement over the last time my avatar appeared in a thread.

That thread...was titled "What is evil?"

One poster simply posted my avatar as a response....without, as I remember it, any dialogue at all.

I loved that one also.

Does anyone have access to that other thread? I tried to find it in a search...but was not able to do so.

Here you go, Frank.

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=17921

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bm

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mac11 wrote:

Frank Apisa wrote:
Fact is, this article of yours is actually an improvement over the last time my avatar appeared in a thread.

That thread...was titled "What is evil?"

One poster simply posted my avatar as a response....without, as I remember it, any dialogue at all.

I loved that one also.

Does anyone have access to that other thread? I tried to find it in a search...but was not able to do so.

Here you go, Frank.

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=17921

Wow...thank you, Mac.

I love it.

And after many, many, many months of McG saying a word to me...TODAY he started a conversation...and we are currently at each other's throats in another thread.

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Frank marvelled:

Quote:

And after many, many, many months of McG saying a word to me...TODAY he started a conversation...and we are currently at each other's throats in another thread.

This is news?

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Miracle in the Golden State? Investigation underway while world waits

In what may be the first miracle of Pope Ratzenhofer's papacy, an image of sozobe was found on a piece of toast served in a diner in Toluca Lake, California. Witnesses attested to the clarity of the image and other details.

"It was 12-grain raisin toast." said Green Witch. "I was about to butter it when, lo and behold, I was struck by the purity of the image. So I went for the cream cheese instead."

Internationally famed experts Joe Nation, nimh, Montana and Walter Hinteler have been called in to verify the claim.

In a related story, an image of Slappy Doo Hoo was found when cutting into a bagel in a Dunkin' Donuts in Paterson, New Jersey. The bagel was promptly shipped to the Carnegie Deli for safekeeping but, unfortunately, has been eaten.

More on this developing story as details unfold.

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Question: Are Joe Nation, nimh, Montana and Walter experts on miracles? Or toast?

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Eva

Eva wrote:

Question: Are Joe Nation, nimh, Montana and Walter experts on miracles? Or toast?

Eva, you dare to question the expertise of Joe, Nimh, Montana and Walter?

I fear you are toast! Shocked

BBB

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NEWSFLASH!

Woman Injured In Record Setting Double Bed Catastrophy

August 3, 2005

Albuquerque, New Mexico - An apparent attempt to set a new world record and replace Slappy Doo Hoo in The Guiness Book of World Records went south yesterday when Bumblebeeboogie encouraged a 99th person to climb onto her double bed.

"I still insist that it's been a long time since a double bed was considered only for two people," she stated from her hospital bed.

Medics were called in after it was discovered that the 99th person proved too much weight and the flooring below the bed collapsed, leving Bumblebeeboogie in a rather compromised position in the basement.

Bumblebeeboogie is expected to make a full recovery, and will be attempting to break the Guinnes record again in September.

A spokesperson from Serta Mattress Company stated that while their bedding is made of finest materials and craftsmanship, no such durability testing has been officially completed.

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