Tue 17 Apr, 2018 07:14 pm
I am a 9-years-long-married woman, with an 8 yo kid. I went abroad to pursue my higher education 3 years ago, alone. Last year when I was still there, I met and fall in love with another guy (let's call him my love) who had fiancee at that time. It all started as an affair but on the 2nd month, we came clear to both of our partners.
His engagement had finally ended. But my husband didn't want to divorce me because he still loves me and because he also considers our kid, religion, family, and society. He (and also my family) threatened me and my love to end our relationship. And since it was a real threat, I and my love decided to hide our relationship until now, secretly keep communicating.
I've been back to my family since half year ago. But before that, I experienced living with my love for 4 months, so I know him well. His habits, bad and good,,, his behaviors when he's down or happy, all I already know. And I accept it. I still love him despite everything. So I don't think what I love about him is just the sunshine and rainbow.
Now I don't know what to do, because I know for sure, a secret is meant to be revealed. It's just a matter of when. It's hard keeping ticking bomb, and pretending to the world that my marriage is a happy one. My love doesn't want to let me go, nor my husband. I really love him (the other guy), but I also love my kid and my family.
Any advice I can get is welcome. I need it.
My only advice is to ignore the previous poster. It's typical of his or her persona.
Religion is hard, family and their threats is hard.
Having a child with two parents is hard.
Are you asking should you leave your child behind with your husband and your family and move with this person whom you have only lived with for 4 months, that you met 3 years ago?
If you were to do that, I doubt you would ever get custody of your child, seek legal advise on what you can and can't do from where you live pertaining to leaving with your child, if you feel threatened that's hard if it's a real threat perhaps you need to put this guy on a backburner for now and seek advice outside your family and forums.