@msconfused,
Face it, you don’t even LIKE your husband. The only compliment you have given him is that he contributes financially, somewhat. But you remind us that you are financially stable yourself.
We’re you ever turned on by your husband, sexually? If so, how did that wane?
Put your big girl pants on and do what you have to do. If you don’t have courage enough to do that then stop messing around and try to make your marriage work.
Most likely, your husband knows of your infidelity and dissatisfaction with him.
He could be miserable, too.
( You don’t mention family - kids, relatives. How does that figure in your plans?)