Mon 6 Jan, 2020 04:40 am
Regarding my question, the commonly held wisdom is that wives will only cheat if they are not content with their marriages or sex lives with their husbands.
However In the post entitled ‘Could a happily married man cheat’, I like the @mystickmind post that shows that temptation is a another significant factor and I agree with this view, especially when combined with opportunity. Such as the following comment
“If however an opportunity to cheat is thrust upon them, then it becomes a different story! The more intense, the temptation, then the more likely they will cheat.”
We all know the scenario. Married lady away in a hotel on business is approached by an attractive guy who is better looking, fitter and sexier than her husband. He’s an alpha male, full of self confidence and soon makes it clear he’s not after just having a drink and a chat. A no-strings, one night stand is on the table and no way hubby will find out. How many girls would say yes? Not a majority for sure, but maybe a notable minority, say 20 – 25%? Depends, obviously on the girl’s personality and is not just about the sex. The appeal of getting naked with a new guy, the thrill of cheating would all be factors as well.
Although I’m convinced my own wife has never cheated, I’m not naïve enough to assume that in the above scenario, she would turn down the guy, especially as she has a lot of risk factors. She is 35 and we are happily married with a rewarding sex life. She’s very attractive, stylish, sociable and outgoing and loves meeting new people. Before we became engaged when she was 29, she often had multiple lovers on the go at the same time, and thinks sex is having fun with someone you fancy. She also still has a roving eye for good looking guys. Also her married friends cheat, mainly alcohol fuelled one off flings with guys met at clubs, leaving the other girls to come up with cover stories for their husbands. Don’t think she would ever do this as she’s a very modest drinker, but I do get to hear about these flings from her and she only seems to disapprove of her friend’s choice of guy, rather than the fact they are cheating.
However, opportunity is the biggest risk factor now that my wife has resumed her professional career after our son has now started full time school. This will involve travel and overnight stays in London and this will typically be 2 consecutive nights every 2 weeks. He first trip away will be the first night we have spent apart since we got married. Clearly this all ratchets up the opportunity and temptation stakes!
Looking forward to people’s views.
Seems odd that your wife is sharing these “cheat stories” with you - but, whatever.
If a gal’s got hamburger at home, she’s going to want a bite of the steak offered to her.
Apparently your wife still thinks you are better than anything she’s seen out there.
Always be the steak.
Does seem odd, but then again my wife can't keep a secret. Guess if she cheats (and I hope not), she'll probably tell me anyway. Also she reckons she tells me because I "Get it", meaning I understand that women stray as often as men these days.
I shall endevour to remain as the steak, but then again she's not had her trips away yet. First one tomorrow, she spends 2 nights away.
"Can a happily married woman cheat". Well, I guess she CAN....but why would she want to? I was happily married and the thought literally never crossed my mind. I was too happily into my spouse and our home/life/activities to even notice anyone else.
In my opinion, yes. If temptation is strong enough she can. But if she loves you a lot, I say no temptation is ever gonna be strong enough.
Are you fully aware that is all about yourself and your issues with yourself; zero to do with your wife ... It is essentially a scenario which you have created either as some sort of anxiety response to a life change ... Or you are a cuckold at heart and adore the whole mental torture thing.
"He’s an alpha male"
Which clearly suggests you do not consider yourself to be so. It also implies that your wife is weak willed and unable to make up her own mind.
Weak people cheat. Happy, decent and intelligent people do not cheat on their partner ... If they are unhappy they leave; Better single/happy than partnered/miserable.
My own wife of 30+ years would never cheat, any more than I would, we are a symbiotic Gestalt unit and both Alpha personalities ... We chose each other for fundamental reasons that will never change. My wife is a Dr, she does all sorts of conferences etc etc .... The only Alpha she wants in her life is myself because I am 'it' for her and her for me. It is not even a subject in our life. Not even a passing thought.
As I said, IMO, you would do well to look at yourself and your own drives .... Rather than making up how your wife is supposed to think, in some imagined situation, according to you.