Well, you may not be still here/there if you end up questioning your lives together. 43 is in a mid life age for rethinking and moving on.
I'm no expert on counselling, have been if anything somewhat antagonistic to what I've taken as a fad of it. I have too many psych major pals, and guess why they were psych majors? Kidding, but not entirely. But, I'd suggest at least doing some reading and then maybe getting into counselling, together or by yourself.
On the other hand, why look for a missing bolt if you've been essentially happy in your lives. Why is this coming up now?