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Could a happily married man cheat?

 
 
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 09:44 am
Could a happily married man cheat and like other woman?
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Type: Question • Score: 12 • Views: 2,246 • Replies: 29
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CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 09:52 am
@Decipher,
Sure. Anything is possible.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 10:04 am
@Decipher,
I believe he could cheat.

I'm not so sure that he actually likes the other women or any women.
najmelliw
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 11:12 am
@Decipher,
He might both cheat and like them, if he feels polygamy is a valid and viable kind of relationship to have with women.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 11:27 am
@najmelliw,
Polygamy isn't cheating. People in polygamous relationships know they're in them.
najmelliw
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 11:29 am
@ehBeth,
That's absolutely true. However, the core assumption I make here is if he wishes/wants a polygamous relationship, and she believes it is a monogamous relationship.
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Decipher
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 Nov, 2017 05:12 pm
@ehBeth,
Yea. Agree. Maybe he love himself only.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 29 Nov, 2017 06:57 am
The question is "Why" would a happily married man cheat?

Perhaps he's not as happy as it appears OR he cheats because there is a willing woman who agrees to feed his ego and accept second place status.
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Nov, 2017 07:21 am
He certainly could, but that doesn't make it a good idea.
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Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Dec, 2017 08:20 am
@Decipher,
I have mentioned this before somewhere in these threads, but here it is again. Yes, yes, and yes. While in the military I had this discussion with a "serial" cheater, of which there were many. I asked him once if his marriage vows meant anything at all and why he bothered to get married if he was going to fool around. In his mind, "forsaking all others" did not mean you didn't have sex on the side. He LOVED his wife above all others. He bought her a house, car, vacations, etc. All he did with the others was screw them. So, male logic.
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genaray2118
 
  1  
Reply Sat 16 Dec, 2017 11:51 am
@CoastalRat,
unfortunately he can and it has absolutely nothing to do with what you did or didnt do, because as I see it if you were totally messed up he couldve left or just brought it to your attention. My husband cheated on me and I took him back and less than a month later . He just got more sofisticated at lying.
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Theamos
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Sep, 2018 07:30 am
They could cheat because they can.
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NACHOFUNNYMAN
 
  1  
Reply Wed 30 Jan, 2019 04:19 pm
@Decipher,
a man is as faithful as his options
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arealtruefeeling
 
  1  
Reply Fri 1 Feb, 2019 01:04 pm
yes. Some here seem to think these kinds of things are black and white. And, I won't argue that those folks are wrong. If that works for you, then it works for you, I respect your view. I think marriage is a living and organic thing and it changes everyday - meaning that it is not static forever and ever after it's beginning. Marriage has ups and downs and changes as the couple changes and grows or fails to grow. Each one is unique, so putting them all in a cookie cutter and suggesting they are all the same and should be thought of the same doesn't true up with reality - in my mind.

I think Marriage is grey. each one is different and each person in the couple needs to "earn their wings" everyday. None of this taking it for granted because we did the deal once sometime ago. Some people are very happy with what their marriage brings them, some are not. Can you be 80% fulfilled? Sure. Might you want to find something else that helps with the other 20%? Sure. Married men and women cheat, not just the men. Largely because there is some element of not being completely fulfilled with all the parts of the marriage relationship.

I understand that this is not OK with a lot of people. But, let's stop and think about the underlying reason behind that instead of making a moral judgment, what is the rationale reason for your thinking? Is it because a promise was made? I think a promise works both ways. Promises also require that both parties hold up their end of the promise. If one party to the promise only keeps up with half of the promise, then why can't the other party try to find fulfillment for the emptiness they feel?

I'm not saying cheating is ok, but I am saying it happens and we should try to understand the reasons when it enters our lives instead of getting all judgmental about it.
0 Replies
 
mystikmind
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Mar, 2019 03:51 pm
@Decipher,
The average happily married man wont cheat..... well, what that really means is that they wont run around looking to cheat.

If however an opportunity to cheat is thrust upon them, then it becomes a different story! The more intense, the temptation, then the more likely they will cheat.

But honestly, you can say the same as above for women as well.

Anyhow, if a man or a woman wishes to remain faithful, it requires more than just a loving relationship at home, it also requires a degree of wisdom to avoid temptation, that is the bottom line!
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Mar, 2019 10:49 am
@mystikmind,
This is one thing that drew me (finally) to my late husband. His honesty. After convincing me that getting married was a good idea (took him a spell) and the subject of cheating came up, he told me that he certainly wasn't PLANNING on doing such. When I am in a relationship, others are invisible to me as far as that goes.
mystikmind
 
  1  
Reply Sun 31 Mar, 2019 06:32 pm
@Medusax,
But if you ever did encounter a situation that you can tell might threaten your willpower, you would naturally seek to remove yourself from that temptation! This is the wisdom side of things.... even if it means changing a job, or letting go of a friend, it might be worth it for the sake of the relationship.
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Apr, 2019 07:33 pm
@mystikmind,
I got hit on a couple of times while married but for me there was no possible answer but "No." You see, I not only respected him but I also knew how good I had it. The relationships I had were basically worthless. He was the only one who ever made me happy. Why would anyone be stupid enough to mess that up? But, people do it everyday....
mystikmind
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Apr, 2019 04:17 pm
@Medusax,
"why would anyone be stupid enough to mess that up"

Why would anyone destroy their beautiful marriage?
Why would anyone destroy their beautiful body with drugs?
Why would anyone pick up a gun and kill?
Why would a species destroy the environment of the planet that they rely on for life?

"why would anyone be stupid enough to mess that up"

The greatest question ever asked!
0 Replies
 
livinglava
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Apr, 2019 05:41 pm
Could a well-nourished person snack?

Resisting temptation takes things like moral reason, conscience, and the will to sacrifice immediate pleasure in the interest of a greater good.

Some people just don't care about anyone but themselves and will only resist doing something hurtful if they think they will get caught and/or punished.
 

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