Had a
go off while reading this....I think Phoenix and Rod may only feel they disagree because they're talking about different things.
I think Phoenix is talking about a sexual relationship where only ONE partner is interested in nothing but sex. Right, Phoenix? If the OTHER partner is looking for a long-term relationship at the same time, that partner almost always gets hurt.
If BOTH partners are looking for fun sex and nothing more, there is no problem (OK, as long as they're both adults and not lying to a "loved one" about it). It's wonderful!
I have to admit that, as a female, I'm the exception in that (when I was younger) I used Very Many males for sex and nothing else. I could've cared less whether they thought they were using me at the same time.
Now that I'm 43, I feel sorry for some of the guys I "used" back then, because I remember how earnest and, well, innocent they were. They expected more of me, and I bitterly disappointed them.
I am still friends, 25 years later, with one man who was never anything but a friend and sometimes-casual-sex partner. BECAUSE we both understood that we weren't meant for each other romantically: We talked about it, realized it wasn't right for us, and it never happened. When he married, it was the end of our sexual relationship; but he's still my pal.
I think the important thing is to make everything clear beforehand, so both partners know that what's up, so to speak, is ALL that's up.
So, Rod, you're right. Sex with someone who knows it's just sex is great, and personally I see nothing wrong with it.
And Phoenix, you're right. Sex with someone who thinks it's going to be more than just sex is misleading and even, sometimes, an outright lie. And it's wrong to hurt someone that way.