I'm 26. How to approach a 40 year old woman?

Phoenix, I don't think there's anything wrong with the subject, so if a woman were writing a story or asking a question about what method she used to get a guy in bed, more power to her.

Isn't that more of a fantasy for the men? She does all the work, all the seduction, leaves when it's over and never calls again? I'd think that would be the story he'd tell his buddies ad-nauseum.

This could also be practice writing for Penthouse forum. One forum, then another, I suppose.

Alow me to reply Phoenix. To like free and uncommited sex does not necesarly means that I'm a person who treats girls as "objects to be used". I like free and uncommited sex from the girl I'm with, so that basically means that I wouldn't be comfortable with a girl who's taking our issue seriously, 'cause I'd feel I'm hurting somebody. At the beginning of this thread I pointed out that I wanted to approach a 40yo woman that seemed to be willing to accept an uncommited sex relation, that's why I asked a2k'ers to give me advice on how to approach her. Then everything got just the way I liked it and I thought that some of the people who gave me advice in this forum would want to know the outcome of the situation, that's why I posted again.

Fortunately my new mature-and-hottie-sex-partner-friend seems not to have a complicated way of seeing things like the one we're passing through in this moment -being plain and simple lovers who enjoy to bang together a few times a week with no strings attached-. We do not feel to be treated like "objects to be used by the other", we just think we're having fun, as we are. We know -we've talked about it- that this can lead into something a little more complicated as times go by, but meanwhile we just love to have sexual fun together. Failure to understand that there're millions of ways to live our lives -none of them bad or good- it's what I call to have a moralistic or narrowminded thought.

As far as your question goes "And what if she related her story as if the guy in question were an object to be used?" let me answer. I think she did already. She told me that she related her new sexual adventure to a couple of her friends and I'm fine with it, don't feel like an object because I understand that she can share her experiences with whoever she feels like doing it. Maybe she's going to or fabulous tool -internet- and posting our affair in another forum. No problem for me. I don't feel used. As Slappy says I'm not posting any names or locations so this is absolutely anonymous. I'm just sharing a great experience I happen to have because some of the visitors of this forum gave me advice. So I thank them by posting what happened. I really don't see any problem on that. Do you?

Just one more thing. Quick update for the one's interested in how a 26 yo man could finally approach and bang a 40yo woman. We've been meeting a couple of days a week, either at her's or mine. Actually I like better her place 'cause, besides that she's an interior designer so everithing is really nice at her apartment, she has this huge king size bed of which we use every single inch while we're.... you know. Plus I found out that women of her age have this sexual energy and experience that just dive guys like me crazy. She seems to have studied in detail the whole Kamasutra, and she really likes to share her knowledge with me, as I show my unstopable hunger for her. That's why we have this great banging sessions I could never imagine. She even likes whatching porn movies with me -and alone I guess, 'cause her cable system has installed this extra package of movie channels and porn channels-. So basically what I can say is that this experience if the best one I've ever, ever had, and she seems to be having a really good one too. Thanks again guys. I think I'm going to ring her bell today too...!!!!

Good for you...probably the two best women in bed I've been with were older. Good times.

Had a go off while reading this....I think Phoenix and Rod may only feel they disagree because they're talking about different things.

I think Phoenix is talking about a sexual relationship where only ONE partner is interested in nothing but sex. Right, Phoenix? If the OTHER partner is looking for a long-term relationship at the same time, that partner almost always gets hurt.

If BOTH partners are looking for fun sex and nothing more, there is no problem (OK, as long as they're both adults and not lying to a "loved one" about it). It's wonderful!

I have to admit that, as a female, I'm the exception in that (when I was younger) I used Very Many males for sex and nothing else. I could've cared less whether they thought they were using me at the same time.

Now that I'm 43, I feel sorry for some of the guys I "used" back then, because I remember how earnest and, well, innocent they were. They expected more of me, and I bitterly disappointed them.

I am still friends, 25 years later, with one man who was never anything but a friend and sometimes-casual-sex partner. BECAUSE we both understood that we weren't meant for each other romantically: We talked about it, realized it wasn't right for us, and it never happened. When he married, it was the end of our sexual relationship; but he's still my pal.

I think the important thing is to make everything clear beforehand, so both partners know that what's up, so to speak, is ALL that's up.

So, Rod, you're right. Sex with someone who knows it's just sex is great, and personally I see nothing wrong with it.

And Phoenix, you're right. Sex with someone who thinks it's going to be more than just sex is misleading and even, sometimes, an outright lie. And it's wrong to hurt someone that way.

I couldn't have put it in a better way Boriskitten. The whole point is that if two consenting adults want to have unattached sex without love... who cares! Good for them! It's really nice to have sex with someone you love, but lets face it, sex is a physical need. You can love nobody and still have a very strong sexual impulse that needs to be fulfilled, that's why one night stands, casual sex or no strings attached relationships -whatever way you want to call them- are meant for. By the way, what do you think about this whole issue I posted at the beginning, Boriskitten. How to approach a woman in her 40s? Do you have any particular suggestion on how to charm a woman like you? It'd be interesting to read your thoughts...

Rod, I think you must already know how to charm an older woman, as you've already done it!

My only other thoughts are, honesty is the best policy. Older women are more likely to see through any sort of "act," so no need to bother.

"I like you" works pretty well for me. Sounds flippant, I know, but it's true!

"i like you" that's just the way all started. I just love women in their early 40s