Finally told my wife's friend I had a crush on her for 20 years

Back in 1996 we were a typical group of twenty year olds. All friends, all hung out on a daily basis, nobody ever slept with each other, some had relationships out of our circle, but we were very close and shared secrets. I was madly in love with Jane. She was perfect! I loved everything about her. She was my favorite person to hang out with. When she wasn't around I wish she was. When she was around I couldn't get enough of her. Jane and I flirted a bit but she had a boyfriend who was on the outer circle. He never hung out with us but always questioned her if something was going on between her and I. I never made a move on her. If she initiated, I'm sure I would have obliged. I know she used to screw around on him but never with any of us. I was a semi pro hockey player and Her and a teammate of mine had a few brief encounters but nothing ever blossomed. One of the guys in our group was a trouble maker and very jealous of me. We were friends but he was salty that Sally and Jane always liked me better than him. He had a creepy vibe about him. ( now he's gay ) he spread some rumors, told things to others that I confided in him . The next thing you know is we start to disband. I write a letter to Jane telling her how much she means to me and how I feel about her. I NEVER GAVE IT TO HER. Jane was a nursing student locally and got a job travelling. I transferred to an out of state college and Sally went on to medical school. Sally and i start to date and marry in 2003. We now have 3 children. Jane moved across the USA and also marries. Jane and Sally text or talk on occasion but Sally gets uncomfortable with her as she suspected her and I had a fling. Never happened!!! Sally always comments on how she always thought Jane had a thing for me, even to this day. Fast forward 20 years.
The past few years Jane has been visiting 1 -2 times a year. She is as beautiful as ever. Looks like she hasn't aged a single day. It's unbelievable how good she still looks.
6 months ago I was cleaning up my old college fraternity bin that I hadn't opened in almost 20 years. The first thing that pops out is this note that I wrote in 1996 to Jane. When I read it every feeling that I've ever had for her lie on my shoulders like 1000 pounds. I jog and workout daily and she's all I think about like my memories of her are giving me extra motivation almost as if I'm traing for a prize fight. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to that time in my life and it's sad that I can't.
Sally and I have a good marriage, we argue on occasion, we rarely have time to ourselves due to having triplets and we have sex 2-3 times a year at most. I love her, love our children, but I feel that every day we get further apart. Having multiples is a very hard job and has put a burden on our marriage.
Last week a friend contacts us that Jane is flying in for 1 week. We plan to all meet for dinner and drinks. We have dinner and some drinks and a few of us go to a local bar. Me, Sally, jane and a few others have the place to ourselves due to it being Easter weekend. I'm drunk, I mean very drunk. My wife leaves the bar to go downstairs and order a mixed drink because we were in a brew house upstairs. Beer isn't her thing. I start telling Jane how I often reminiscence about the old days and start getting emotional. I then tell her many years ago i wrote her a letter but never gave it to her about my feeling towards her. I had that note in my pocket. I give her the note but make her promise not to read it til later. She asks what it said and I looked into her eyes and told her that I was madly in love with her when we all hung out and that she was and still is the most astonishingly beautiful woman I've ever seen. Something that I should have told her in 96. She tells me she had no idea, we laughed a bit and that was that. Sally come back and Jane tells her I'm an asshole. Why? Sally asks, what did he say? Nothing says Jane. She could have threw me under the bus but didn't. She could have torn my family apart by giving her the note or mentioning our private conversation.
On Easter Sunday I text Jane and apologized for making her uncomfortable or if I embarrassed her. No reply. The next day I text again . No response. Next day I leave her a voicemail that I was terribly sorry that I may have crossed the line. No response.
Why is she mad and ignoring me? I never meant it to sound like I was looking for us to both divorce and ride off into the sunset. She's beautiful. I'm married but I'm not blind. Do you think she's mad that I never told her how I felt? Or does she think that I'm a huge asshole for spilling my guts to her behind my wifes back? Does she think I'm a terrible husband and mad that her friend has to live with me? Does she think I'm a cheating asshole? Does she think I married Sally as a consolation prize? How could giving a compliment make her hate me? Did I disrespected her husband ( who never flies to town with her) by telling her this? In some way did I disrespect her in any way?
I realize that it was very risky and I took a huge chance, but also realize now that im sober that nothing good could have resulted in this. It feels great to have finally told her how I felt but what if she tells Sally? What do I feel so empty inside?