Why do dumpers get emotional to see the dumpee happy?

Forums: Relationships, Behavior, Friendships, Breakups, Dumper
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I don't understand why the dumper gets angry or emotional to see someone they dumped happy. Aren't you suppose to be happy for them or at least show indifference? Whats your story or opinion on this?

Basically she broke up with me 7 month ago for few reasons:
-College
-immaturity on both our parts
- short relationship

Story:
We started talking again 4 month after the breakup. A week later she showed up at our school and saw me just chilling and having a good time at my hangout spot. She started almost posting daily pictures and videos of hangouts with friends, selfies, and other guys at times. I was truly happy for her (she had told me she was feeling depressed) so me thinking that we were on friendly terms shot her a text telling her that i was happy she was feeling good again. Left me on read so i didn't do anything else to bother her again. (i understand enough to know spamming is a behavior people output when they are hurt)

Shot me a text about a month later on Christmas and we started talking again. Always one of the first to view my stories and replied fast to my text (I like to see who views them). 2 weeks later came to the school again. We saw each other but i was working out so i didn't go over to talk to her. Whole process seemed to repeat itself once again.
- block and unblock on social media
-block on snap map and doesn't view my stories
-ignores me and becomes cold to me

I'm not here hoping to know if she wants me back but to understand peoples behavior and why they do this. What is your opinion or story on this subject?

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 3,900 • Replies: 11

[+4] - glitterbag - 01/15/2019Sadly, even when a boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you, some folks have an ego that tells them that it's inconceivable that anyone could actually get over them.

Hard to guess why the “dumper” acts the way she does. You think she’s mad at you. Maybe so. Maybe she wanted you to be more mature about the breakup and make the needed changes to keep the relationship working. Maybe she’s resentful that you went on your merry way .

It’s been long time enough for you to not have any obligations to her. So don’t feel you have to follow up on whether she follows or reads any of your postings. Stop seeking attention from her, or feel that you have to give her attention.

BTW Question: She comes to your campus ... why?

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@PUNKEY,

She comes to watch the sports teams which she was on or to visit her sis or brother. We often bump into each other because I am an active athletic and have to stay after school to work out.

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@cgo1234567,

I had behavior like this once. I broke off the relationship, and I knew without a doubt that was right for me, and that we’d never be right together, but it was very painful.

I blocked from social media only because of how excruciating it was to have him brought to mind — this lasted for over a year. Now that so much time has passed, I peek in on him just like I do old friends from high school.

Either it’s a deal like that, driven by conflicting emotions, or she is trying to manipulate you, IMO.

1 Reply

@Lash,

Well said, Lash!

There may be conflicting emotions on both sides, since he cares so darn much whether she blocks him or reads his stories.

When someone no longer thinks about the reaction of that other person, it can finally end.

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@cgo1234567,

cgo1234567 wrote:

-immaturity on both our parts

You answered your own question here.

I included “both” as it’s pretty childish to start a thread as if it always this way.

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persons that walks away hopes ex suffer worst than themselves. so they will shadow to find about your after life for self assurance or denial of your outcome without they

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@cgo1234567,

Sadly, even when a boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you, some folks have an ego that tells them that it's inconceivable that anyone could actually get over them.

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I just reread the original post, and maybe I’m dense, but I can’t see what the problem is.

So she comes on and reads your posts, but doesn’t actively participated? Is that it?
Since when does someone have to validate everything they read by commenting?

What’s the big deal?

She’s not saying bad things about you, or anything.

This falls under the category of get a life.

1 Reply

@chai2,

i heard a close friend of hers talk **** about me and always giving me looks. Sorry i didn't include that

1 Reply

@cgo1234567,

Talking trash about an ex is not unusual. And girlfriends of the ex will believe everything because - after all - that's all the one side they have heard and it's oh-so-exciting.

If the trash is not true, ignore it. Maybe even change gyms, because you really need to distance yourself from all that drama.

If the trash IS true - then still change gyms, because you need a fresh audience.

.

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I think it is about choice and regret.
They made the choice to dump you, then you do well in life - that challenges the validity of their choice to dump you, especially if it appears you are happier then them!!
People dont want to feel stupid and or have regret about their choices in life, that's what it is.... she is looking for validation that her choice to dump you was correct and she is not getting that validation, and that is causing her aggravation..... keep up the good work!

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Why do dumpers get emotional to see the dumpee happy?

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