Sun 2 Jun, 2019 02:34 am
Hello, I need some help please. I met someone online last year and we became friends. We spoke/speak nearly everyday and both develop a story together. Gradually over the last 6 or 7 months, he would disappear randomly for lots of time then come back with some poor excuse. Each time I excused it. Then he started being different. He would tell me to say certain things when he did, to stop calling him, that I had so many chances and to tell him a surprise I had planned or he wouldn't be pleasant during it etc. For most of this, I would get very stressed. Not knowing if he's gonna be there or not, what he'd say. He'd frequently dangle goodbye over my head too. Now granted, I'm not perfect, my insecurities pop up here and there but we worked through them. However I knew this time would come. He told me just recently that he was too busy in his life with work to talk or anything for several months and that maybe we ought to say goodbye or to choose if I want to talk to him or continue the story. He said if I won't choose, he'll follow through on his goodbye. Now here's the thing - I have huge fear of abandonment (from my childhood) so I really find it immensely hard to say goodbye to anyone. I keep getting myself in knots trying to make something work out, thinking back to when we got on so well to now. It feels like such a waste of time and maybe I'm responsible for him pushing me away (he said things that annoyed him about me). I feel so broken. So honestly I don't know what to do, there doesn't seem like a resolution. He said he would talk to me later a day ago so I haven't been able to. It's stupid how much this is getting to me when he doesn't seem to give a damn. It's just hard when I've conditioned myself to talk to him so much about everything. Sorry for the long winded post, thank you all for your time
He sounds like a passive aggressive jerk. Don't respond. You don't have to. If he ends the friendship, you'll be better off. And if you end it first, you'll be empowered.