What made you smile today?

I spoke to two e'mail penpals today on the phone, one in California and one in Canada who is arriving here Feb. 12th for ten days .... I'm soooo happy!

Smiled momentarily today ~ upon hearing the message my sister left on my answering machine.....

'Yo Sis ~ just thought you'd like to know that we have snow and that we're making snowballs and snow-angels.....he he he he he'.

I love my sister to death. But she was being cruel with this phone message.

I miss snow.

I miss cold.

So why are you roaming around the house in 73 deg. weather dressed in double sweats, socks, and slippers? Huh? Huh? Huh?

This is a good one!
***************
http://www.ticz.com/homes/users/bob/On-A-Rock/On-A-Rock.htm

Since I'm not getting any smiles from you guys, try this one.
****************
Subject: Redneck vasectomy

After having their 11th child, an Alabama
couple decided that was enough, as
they could not afford a larger bed

So the husband went to his veterinarian
and told him that he and his cousin
didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a
procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said
the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb,"
(fireworks are legal in Alabama)
"light it, put it in a beer can,
then hold the can up to your ear
and count to 10."

The Alabamian said to the doctor,
"I may not be the smartest tool in the
shed, but I don't see how putting a
cherry bomb in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry
bomb and put it in a beer can He held
the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed
the beer can between his legs and resumed
counting on his other hand..

This procedure also works in Tennessee,
Indiana, Arkansas, Mississippi,
and West Virginia

Bet you're smilin!!! Pass the smiles on!!

Sometimes extra effort is needed to get people to smile.
************************
SPEEDING PROBLEM

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk
if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his
car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle
the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping
his half-drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen
this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a
driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse
and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you
didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and
that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Hah, hah, c.i. The older woman was a sharp old cookie.

Smiling at the snow blowing outside, while snuggled safe and warm in our condo.

Not smiling but frowning !! BIG TIME !!!! Technical support in this place sucks !! I just got a new laptop and they forgot to install Project 2000 on it - I have a management update at 1600 and no MSP, despite raising a support ticket on Wed.

Someone is gonna pay for this GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

This one is bound to put a frown on your face.
**************************************
SHORT AND SWEET......



Test your IQ with the question below:



There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before looking below for the answer...









He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple. He's blind, not speechless.

* smile?

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of
our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to
install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
>
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others


I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right
now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the
order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter
his social security # followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code
666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3
16.


For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets,
please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please
hang up and call again tomorrow.


The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.



If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please
contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.

Ehm, people?

I know threads don't belong to their owners and all that ... and I've noticed there's enough people getting a laugh out of the odd joke - but could you try to NOT make WMYST into another "jokes" thread?

There's enough jokes threads - hell, even a whole category - out there ... this thread is more like for tales of every day life, to highlight the random occurrences and observations that make one smile ...

nothing wrong with the odd joke once in a while, but - leave it at that, please?

notefromaconcerned"parent"who'sfosteredthisthreadsincetheol'daysofabuzz!

It's true, I told one, too (and again, nothing wrong with the odd joke some time) - and I even forgot to answer the question I got asked about it! ->



Well, I now asked Anastasia on the phone how the line should be spelled phonetically in English, and she spelled this back to me:

"want duh wairuld iss ain hroateh kloatezoy en wuh han allemal nar duh soademeter!"

whoa, i didnt mean, like, to chase you al away or sum'thing ... ;-)

Anyway - I went to the Film Festival in Rotterdam today again, second day I went - this time alone, cause there was a bunch of East-European films I wanted to see, and noone ever wants to go to see those.

(And I must admit, they were very East European today. Nothing refreshingly unexpected like that Bosnian movie I saw on Friday, a coming-of-age story about a would-be gangsta rapper kid and his homie, who get stuck between Sarajevo's post-war toughness and the Muslim family tradition. That one was fun, and heartwarming, and unexpectedly postmodern. Name is "Summer in the Golden Valley", should you come along it. Anyway, today was more predictably quality East-European fare. Slow, touching, poetic and depressing).

Last film I saw, "Granny", was an endearing, but sad story (perhaps a bit too hammed-up) about a typical village Babushka, whose life suddenly changes when a dramatic confluence of events takes out her daughter and her sister. The end result: she's driven around past newly rich (or newly destitute) grandchildren who want nothing of her - nice woman, not in my flat. Sad. All of it punctuated by Russian village folk songs - when the babushka's get together and sing to say goodbye, for example. The soundtrack also had a haunting, almost cheerful old woman's song.

Like most, I came out still in the mood. When I walked out into the street, to one of the other cinemas, crossed the traffic lights, turned a corner, I saw a guy walking out ahead of me who looked vaguely familiar from just now, big guy, kinda tough-sportive for yer average filmfreak. When I was almost to him, I heard he was singing some tune along, and when I passed him, I heard he was singing in a peculiarly high-pitched voice, and I recognized it - he was singing an old woman's song. <grins>

Watching David Kay squirm and spin on tv.

For a second I read that as Danny Kay, and I was a little worried about whatcha might be watching there, bear.

Bi-Polar pulling Arthur's leg. We set him straight, however.

Now if we could only pull Kay's leg like George has pulled ours.

That's an odd expression!

ludacris rapping, going - "the abominable ho-man". heh.

Well, nimh. The yeti? you beti. I am still waiting for an answer to "Black Moonlight". That would make me smile. Gloomy Sunday is deliciously horrific. Sometimes not a smile, but a sardonic grin.

LOL!

And I just came back to grin about Eminem rhyming "fostermammas" with "Nostradamus", heh.


From me? Uh-oh ... Remind me?


Yeah. I like the Paul Whiteman version best thus far. And yeh, its true, its so deeply sad, but there's an odd phrase or two in there that always has me grin at a beat. Like where he goes, "My heart and I / Have decided to end it all" - <grins> - there's a whimsical, playful sense of drama in there thats almost cute <smiles>