What made you smile today?

On Wednesday of this week a guy who lives near the state line had a "family" cookout.
It was raining a lot the last few days and his party day was no different. So,, he analyzes that an outdoor barbecue doesnt work too well in the rain so he figures " why not barbecue in the basement and set up the whole grill next to the open Bilco door , that way he'll have easy access to the in and the out.
ITEM 1."WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG??"

Hes cookin away on his grill and its loaded with burgers and ribs.I guess he had too much stuff on the grill cause it flared up and started belching flame out the side (I guess it was charcoal which as anyone with half a brain knows is the BEST for imparting that burnt flesh grilling flavor to meats.

Well, He tries to put out the flare up and discovers that, in setting up his big SMOKEY (tm) hes blocked the doorway with this massive grill which has a chimney that could start a fire in his basement(especially when the dam thing is flaming and smoking like a rocket nozzle). The doorway and his special OSB siding around the doorway is quickly engulfed in flame. SO, he does what any real man would do, DUMP THE WHOLE THING OUT ON TH BASEMENT FLOOR. Now this woulda worked well if it wasnt for the kerosene cans in which he stores his winter fuel. He had at least on can topped up with kero.
NOW WHERE WAS EVERYBODY ELSA YOU MAY ASK??? The folks he invited to his cookout? (These were his biker buddies-we have a lot of bikers and klansmen that have these summer homes down by te Mason Dixon)
Well, as I undertand,,Everyone that were earlier in the house were down by his pond either fishing , drinking or firing his collction of automatic weapons in the rain so he was sorta
all on his own with his flaming burgers and beef .
Fortunately a passing AMish man in his buggy, who HAS A CELL PHONE calls the fire company.

Fire company gets there and puts the fire out using a big field sprayer that sits atop their pumper truck like a rocket launcher.

This guy is actually known to the "system" because he had his house catch fire twice before over the years as he started fires by engaging his wood stove when his chimney was poked through his OSB framed
house covered by this plastic siding .
His insurance company first jacked up his premiums and then later cancelled him after he refused to do the stuff the insurance adjuster required him to to make his house less "fire friendly".
I think the primary fire friendly thing at that house is him.

It ended with some more good stories about this yahoo. Noone was hurt and yesterday he began reframing his basement "Bilco door" with what looked like 2X4's.

For all other concerns, refer back to item 1. above.

A great story indeed.

(dw

He wasn't naked.

I clearly see shoes and socks.

yes but he aint wearing a HELMET, so he must be from PA.

I learned a new word today: allofeeding,
It refers to the male bird of a species putting food into the mouth of a female. It occurs during courtship as a signal that the guy is a loving and caring potential mate, and also after breeding.
There are two pair of cardinals that regularly visit my feeders. One is an older couple, looking a bit like a middle-aged couple. The male placed seed after seed in his lady's beak. She seemed to appreciate it. But there was no real romance involved, as in "Honey, look! I peeled you a grape."
Then there is the younger couple. He is darned handsome and he knows it. When I watch him I can't help thinking of Narcissus, the lad who gave us the word that seems to be thrown about a lot lately.
He is a brilliant red and for awhile had a yellowish hue on his wings which, when folded, formed a V on his back. It looked neat, resembling the V logo for UVA's sports teams.
Alas, he is easily distracted. He gives a seed or two to his girl friend but then he flies off. Yesterday he repeated this several times. I found out today that the NFL's Arizona team was playing on television. He probably was watching that game and he would return to her during commercial breaks.

That could be considered a cardinal sin, couldn't it?

As for Allofeeding, my ex-wife was into holistic nutrition and alternative medicine. She often would feed me these weird concoctions. One of them was a cocktail that had Aloe juice in it. Hence our marital status became EX.

Picking perfect tomatoes from a plant that grew itself.

My sister called to say we're having a sibling luncheon again soon.

Dinner at nice Italian restaurant in SMA. 3 entrees, 2 salads, 2 desserts, glass on wine and 2 soft drinks....about $50. Best eggplant parmigiana I have ever had.

Tell me again why I should come back?

You left the oven on?

70 degrees F right now. Will be a low of 55.

Finally found a butter in Mexico that actually tastes like butter. Lurpak is the brand. Not the best but much better than anything else I’ve tried.

Danish butter in Mexico? Wow!

Oh yeah. They got indoor plumbing and everything.

People gotta stop thinking Trumps fantasy is all there is.

There’s a PetSmart at a little center down the Calle from me. I bought some Hills Science Diet Jerky Mini Strip doggie treats for my neighbors dogs, Joch and Mika. They only get 1 a day from me.

Yesterday I left the house with 2 in my hand in case they were around. They weren’t, but my other neighbor Johnny from Mexico City was, so we chatted. He glanced at my hand and I said “these are for Mika and Joch, but don’t tell Marianna”

He leaned in an whispered “I got the same ones. Don’t tell Marianna”

Joch says Marianna doesn’t have to know everything, and Mika agrees.

Are those treats the dogs are allowed to have?

I'm sure you mean well but please don't give them treats without letting the owners know. A friend's dog just ran into some serious medical difficulties because of something like this.

They’re fine with treats. I see Marianna and her husband giving them the same ones. I know what you’re saying though.

When I bought the house it was just the shell. No doors or windows. Joch and Mika used the place as their private fort. When I’d pull up they would pop their heads out an upstairs window then rush downstairs to “guard” the gate. The triplex of townhouses are behind a gate and secure wall so they have the run of the entire property. I often leave the door open so they can come in and out as they please. The owners know about that and are fine with it. i’m sure they are relieved that both neighbors like their very well behaved dogs.

Misbehaving dogs are not tolerated here. Most places, even in Centro, dogs are allowed to roam at will, and are very street smart as far as traffic, etc. They don’t form packs and are amazingly docile. They aren’t pampered, but they aren’t mistreated or neglected either. If you see a dog on a lease 8 times out of 10 it’s a gringos.

It isn’t until you get out into the country where you start to see animals that are hungry and ignored. It’s a different culture.

How's the tap water though?

Great. I shower in it every day.

There a 42 meter long fresh water pool about 10 miles from my house that I try to get to most days. It’s fed from underground thermal springs. The pool is so big the heat dissipates enough that it’s not too hot to swim. 19 laps makes about a mile. Next to it is a I’d say 400 sq foot hot tub that gets nice and hot. There’s a cold pool next to that but I don’t go in that. Some do after the hot water.

The water in the pipes doesn’t stain the toilets or sinks or anything, and is clean and clear.

For drinking everyone does use bottled water, which is cheap and plentiful. Don’t know what would happen if one drank it, but since Mexican friends don’t, I’m not curious to find out. I’ve never heard of anyone getting sick, so I’m thinking it’s a combination of safety, taste and habit.

But, you already knew that everyone drinks bottled water in Mexico, didn’t you?

It’s raining cats and dogs all of a sudden.