What should I think about my husband and his internet porn?

What he is doing is normal and healthy.

What you are doing is spying...and is abnormal...and very unhealthy.

Get professional help!

Is this an advertisement for tickle.com?

Your husband wanting to have sex is perfectly normal. You don't seem to want to have sex with him so he's looking for it someplace else.

You should ask yourself why he's getting on your nerves when what he wants is perfecly natural.

The spying thing is really wrong!!! How would you feel if someone was spying on you??

The woman of every mans dreams.....a frigid spy.......Jackpot!!!!!!

katie, the snooping is obviously wrong but certainly your refusal to have sex has got to be tied to taking care of two young children. Does your husband help out at all, or are you expected to do everything? Are you a stay at home Mom?

How is the spying wrong if you want to know if he is possibly cheating on you? He get's it from me pretty often..just about every night? and we still have this problem....sex is natural yes but all the time? not

How is the spying wrong if you want to know if he is possibly cheating on you? He get's it from me pretty often..just about every night? and we still have this problem....sex is natural yes but all the time? not

Well, the spying is wrong because even married people are entitled to some privacy. You might want to consider that he is sneaking around because he knows you're watching, that is, he feels he can't be open about things because you're gonna freak.

good luck on your situation katie.

does he think it's wrong to look at porn?

MEANING he may be doing it but if caught may agree he shouldn't be. I can't get from what you wrote if he does. You say he watches it if you say "no" to sex, but not if you only know this from his cache/history file.

You should definitely confront him about this and ask him what he thinks you can do to prevent this. Then give him ideas on what HE can do to make you want it more.

Then report back to us.

he knows I want him to be open...actually he knows I wouldn't freak. That's just the way he is...and he lies...we've had many talks and I told him honesty is best..me knowing wouln't upset me. If he could have sex at least 5 times a day he would be happy...

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wouldn't we all?

Katie - you just said honesty is best. You'd better let him know you're tracking his internet usage.



bpb - you know it!

Is there lying about other things (meaning, is this a symptom of other problems)? Or is it only about this?

I'm with Jo - going behind his back isn't doing anything, so it's probably best to confront him head on, and find out why he's doing this. If it's only when you are not having sex, then there might be a reason (whether you like or accept the reason is your own business), but if it's all the time, and it doesn't matter how often/how well you're having sex, then the issue would be, I think, that he's just going to do it, no matter what, and if he claims that it's because of anything you're doing, then he's not being honest with himself or with you.

Lots of guys look at porn. Not every single man, but lots of men do. And if they use it as a replacement for intimacy with their wives or lovers, then it's a problem, but if it's an enhancement, or if it's the next best thing when sex is unavailable (e. g. the wife is 9 months pregnant or is an invalid, the husband is out of town on business, etc.), then I think you can see where there's a place for it.

yes, I will be letting him know that he's being monitored on the internet....Actually our sex is great he's actually mentioned to me how well he's pleased by me..I just thought that he's just a sex freak..I've dated a lot and not one guy that I know of was this bad. yes, he lies about other things and that's what made me not trust him and that's how it lead to this. I just wanted some advise because I wasn't sure what I should do...talks or no talks wouldn't change a thing he will just be him.

"At his office he watches it and plays with himself..."
Where does he work?

Put a Net Nanny on his computer. Maybe he's a sex addict. Maybe he's in his sexual prime and needs satisfaction...

What I want to know is: How do all these Wives Who Spy On Their Husbands And Find Porn end up seeking advice at A2K? What do you google that sends you here?

Cinnesthesia,

The office is his office. He is 33..as for google just did a search related to this topic and brought me here.

It sounds to me like the Sex thing is the symptom, not the disease. You both seem to have trouble communicating/trusting, so I'm going to jump on jespah's bandwagon and advise the confrontation. I know you are already planning on talking to him about it, but if you haven't yet, I would advise being very calm and rational about it, since confrontation about someone's pornographic activities is enough to put anyone's back up, and that's just the beginning. :wink:
Be sure to incorporate all your thoughts about this, including when he "lied about other things." Good luck.

I have had talks w/ him before and he get's real defensive and get's really upset and tears up the house saying he's not going to these sites...when he is..so I dunno