10
   

Did I deserve to be hit for cheating?

 
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Apr, 2016 06:58 pm
@Glennn,
I somewhat get anger with action, which is what we are talking about.

I threw a beer at guy once, the only time I did that, so I remember the anger and action.
I still like him and don't like him, in memory.
No way it would have even occurred to me to harm his body.
Glennn
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Apr, 2016 07:13 pm
@ossobuco,
Did you throw a can of beer at him, or was it like when someone throws a drink from a glass at someone else?

Did you do so because he cheated on you?
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Apr, 2016 10:44 pm
@Glennn,
None of all that. He was a massive know it all, and often right, which most of us were used to. No, nothing like my being cheated on. He did have certain peculiarities re students in his class, and married one of them, despite uni rules.

This was about forty or more years ago, and I remember it as much as I do because it was an isolated incident. I don't routinely throw beers at guys.

I had a beer glass in my hand and he said something awful about women and I threw the glass contents at him.

Those around? I think some agreed, if not for my beer flinging.

Bad Girl

That all passed and we stayed as stalwart arguers.
0 Replies
 
Leadfoot
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 13 Apr, 2016 11:02 pm
@ossobuco,
Quote:
I am getting confused. Who is her or him in this sequence of argueing.
In my last Post 'her' referred to the girl who made the OP. She clearly said her BF was a calm, nonviolent guy and wanted help deciding how to look at what happened.

Glennn and all who agreed with him are telling her that her BF is an out of control brute who she should run from, That's telling her that she is a liar (or even worse, delusional). His attitude is kind of political correctness run amuck.

I'm willing to take the OP girl at her word in the absence of other evidence but at the same time hold her responsible for what she said.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 02:23 am
@ossobuco,
When the intention of a slap is to harm instead of expressing extreme disgust then we are talking abuse. That is not what happens when you use a symbolic slap. Moreover the rarest ocasion a slap is required it symbolizes a cut off. That said a slap can have its more mundane uses like properly educating spoiled brats.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 02:36 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Funny enough women know this way better then men be it by emotional intelligence or feminin intuition, or whatever is at work, they are to my anedoctal first person evidence expert slappers. They know a slap humiliates more then a thousand words. I've seen slapping all my life coming from women ocasionally from Victorian like sensible gentleman. Tugs and bruts use to punch instead...
Fil Albuquerque
 
  0  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 02:54 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
I've lived a couple of years in London long ago and I recall distinctly the cultural shock I had from seeing women so often slapping their partners in the streets. It doesn't happen in Portugal so often.
0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 03:13 am
This was a fun mock up of real life... (she is speaking Brazilian Portuguese)



...natural selection at work...



...finally:

0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  0  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 03:26 am
This is the actual **** that happens I find the video tittle ironic...

0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 05:53 am
I thank the dumbass voting down of explicit videos. It illustrates the bias and unmasks pretty well the whole bunch around. Mediocrity, righteous at its best of course. Again thank you very much ! (Exctintion awaits you in less then 3 generations no need for external help)
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  3  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 07:13 am
@Leadfoot,
Quote:
Glennn and all who agreed with him are telling her that her BF is an out of control brute who she should run from, That's telling her that she is a liar (or even worse, delusional).

Here are the comments I have made concerning my assessment of the situation the OP presented:

He wittingly or unwittingly demonstrated his lack of emotional self-control.

Slapping another person when not defending yourself is called assault and battery.

Physical violence is never justified unless you are protecting yourself or another from harm. You want to define emotional upset as harm.

You don't slap a woman because she betrayed your trust.

But in reality, it is the act of an emotionally immature individual. It solves nothing.

It is never appropriate to strike a woman, or anyone, in the face simply because they violated the terms of your relationship.

You cannot visit physical pain upon her for not giving you written notice of her departure from your life.

But violence serves nothing but your bruised ego.

I've clearly stated my position that hurt feelings are no excuse for striking someone in the face.

Slaps that are the result of anger are bad news.
________________________________________

So, unless you can explain how any of those statements can be interpreted as me telling the OP that the boyfriend is an out of control brute she should run from, then you are a liar.
Quote:
She clearly said her BF was a calm, nonviolent guy

And then she told about how he slapped her face and choked her. She wanted to know if she deserved it. And that's what others and myself have answered.

You, however, wondered if you could have spared others the psychological violence that you went through by slapping the woman who cheated on you. Your position is quite clear.
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  3  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 07:20 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Quote:
When the intention of a slap is to harm instead of expressing extreme disgust then we are talking abuse. That is not what happens when you use a symbolic slap.

Ah, so it's the intention that counts. I see.

I hope you eventually come to see the difference between symbolism and reality. A symbolic slap is anything but an actual slap.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -3  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 07:32 am
@Glennn,
No its not the intention but the consequence of said intention you dumb azz. A slap with contained strength that does not harm but humiliates is so appropriate and so natural the whole freaking web is full of it. ITS WHAT WE DO when we get pissed beyond a given freaking limit. Accept the fact. You probably a slapper I bet. Ironically I am not. Dumb freaking hypocrite.
Glennn
 
  3  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 08:46 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
If I look past your insults, you're saying that since lots of people strike other people in the face, it must be correct behavior. And your basis for this notion is your belief that if a certain degree of anger is reached, then a person is within their rights to strike another person in the face even though they were in no physical danger.

That's highly interesting, but for all the wrong reasons. What your shortsighted approach to this issue prevents you from seeing is that if I rightly interpret your hitting my face as an assault and battery on my person, I will then hit you back. And then what?

And no, I am not a slapper. So, calling me a hypocrite was just another baseless insult.


Fil Albuquerque
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 10:05 am
@Glennn,
You really miss the point don't you ? If I NATURALLY had slap you because of some real repugnant act you committed you wouldn't slap me back out of agnowledge guilt....if you decide to slap me back then that would be proof something in my judgement to slap you in the first place was naturally baseless. I believe in peoples own capacity to know when they are wrong. Again rarely a slap is appropriate but in some odd ocasions it fits the bill. Normally between adults its a relation ender. The reason why such behaviour is not socially extinct is because so far it has worked well enough. Now this is a scientific fact whether your washed out cliché common sense education gets it or not.
The behaviour is well established within our species within certain boundaries. When inadequate, some form of reciprocation, law suit, or any other measure corrects the abuse back to its natural range of operation and usefulness.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 10:34 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
I could elaborate if the audience was way beyond its limited intellectual boundary. Often the physical, the corporal punishment works as a steam valve that instead of escalating psychological violence into an unnecessary level of wasted energy settles the matter for what it is in the moment. Nature knows it works and when it doesn't said behaviour is socially corrected. You confuse the behaviour being rarely appropriate with it not being appropriate in any situation. Of course everyday life proves you wrong. I am probably one of the calmest and nicest guys you can meet in person on A2K, but when I get upon my shoulders the weight of replying to the best of my intellectual ability on whether something is right or wrong, you bet I wont lie even if what I have to say goes against every book you learned from....you see my personal job in life has been to avoid said books and really really question everything. I am not afraid of tabus and make a case in point of showing it publicly. I also don't give a damn on what others might think. I am not selling books nor making a career here. No Colgate salesman from me.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 11:24 am
Some good advise for ya folks back there in la la land, few more slaps here n there specially with spoiled brats n less shooting...stop selling guns in the grocery shop.
0 Replies
 
Glennn
 
  4  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 11:27 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Quote:
You really miss the point don't you ? If I NATURALLY had slap you because of some real repugnant act you committed you wouldn't slap me back out of agnowledge guilt....if you decide to slap me back then that would be proof something in my judgement to slap you in the first place was naturally baseless.

Your reasoning is flawed. If I show myself to be so unevolved that I don't know any better than to say something repugnant to you, and you slap me in the face for it, how is it that you also believe that I am evolved enough to understand that I had the slap coming? You've also determined that if I hit you back, it will mean that your reason for slapping me was baseless. This system you believe in is chaotic.

Slapping a woman for having sex with another man is called revenge. And your desire for revenge is due to your belief that another's behavior says something about your own self worth.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -2  
Reply Thu 14 Apr, 2016 01:38 pm
@Glennn,
A slap is revenge ? Right.
No you see is self respect and a game ender for you.
And just from where does it follow you have to be inevolved to be repugnant ?
One thing you got right it says something about me, and I am going to tell you what since you don't grasp it.
It says that what you have done is beyound giving you the worth of a talk, that you are not my equal, and that our relation is over. Next time you think about betraying someone's deep trust in you you will recall it and think twice. Not out of fear for the symbolic slap but out of fear of the abject rejection of your behaviour as a person and a human being.
0 Replies
 
 

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