Verbal and Physical abuse whilst 10weeks pregnant

Reply Thu 19 Nov, 2015 01:04 am
I am 25 and live with my boyfriend. He went through my laptop and found some riske stuff of me and my ex and a slideshow I made for him where I use the same pet name I now call my boyfriend. I should have done a thorough deletion of my past but I guess I was sloppy. I think he had every right to be upset. He then started shouting at me and pushed me, I fell over the couch and hit the wall. He kept shaking me and even punched my shoulder. He had hid all the knives in the house in the oven? I am so confused. My father is in the army so I know if I tell my parents, he will be in serious trouble. Can I raise a child with such a person? If I took him back, who is to say it wont happen again. I feel ashamed like Im dirty. What I want to know if a relationship can ever come back from a situation like this?
Reply Thu 19 Nov, 2015 06:17 am
You really want to spend your life on tenterhooks, wondering when he'll snap again?

Was he right to be at least a little bit angry? Maybe a tiny bit. But that does not justify him hurting you.

Period, end of story.

Get out before you are even more committed and entrenched.

Get out before he lies to you that it will never happen again.

I urge you to protect yourself and your unborn child. Call your parents and ask to come back. Explain what happened, pack your bags, and leave.
Reply Thu 19 Nov, 2015 07:47 am
I agree with Jespah. This is the time to leave and quickly. He has more than an anger management issue. At certain times in a relationship people can become angry ...sometimes for a good reason ... but being physical like that is not acceptable.

You need to be safe and so does your baby. Don't dwell on the decision. Go back to your folks and raise your child and be safe.

Also, it is beyond bizarre why he hid knives in the oven.
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Reply Thu 19 Nov, 2015 10:39 am
BgirlAfrica wrote:
if I tell my parents


you need to tell someone, preferably a family member, that you have been physically assaulted

if you have not already moved out, pack and get out

it is never appropriate to physically assault another person - pregnant or not, male or female
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Reply Thu 19 Nov, 2015 07:21 pm
I see a few problems here and they are not all about your boyfriend. I 100% agree with everything that's already been said-this is not a good man to be with. You should definitely leave but the plain truth is no matter where you go, you have to take yourself with you. You are a young single women, with riske pictures on your computer, choosing men of questionable character to shack up with, and you are already pregnant out of wedlock. None of this has anything to do with him, these issues speak to who you are. I recommend that you look at this in a spiritual fashion...Philippians 4:13 teaches us "I can do all things through Christ[a] who strengthens me." Focus your attention on having Jesus in your life and He will be your all-in-all and you will have all that you need. Because I don't want you to think I am being judgmental, I need you to know I was a single mother, lived a loose life, drank a lot, had an abusive boyfriend, and made a lot of mistakes that made me feel dirty and ashamed as well. Finally when I was 35 I gave my life to Christ and got my life on track by learning that God thought I was special and that He wanted me to be my best and have the best. When I got saved I read a book by Juanita Bynam called "No More Sheets" which taught me that a man is supposed to build you up in every way especially spiritually. I won't settle for anything less and neither should you.
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Reply Thu 19 Nov, 2015 07:32 pm
I am not one to get crazy about violence in intimate relationship, it is likely going to happen to some degree at some points, but the story you tell is disturbing. For me the main problem is that he gets unhinged when confronted with the fact that you had a life before he met you. That part of your life is not going to disappear. If he is going to be this unreasonable about past loves how unreasonable is he going to be about any suspicions he has about you hanging around men now?

Does he know you are Pregnant? Is it his kid? Does he think it is his kid? If so the push is also something that registers with me as a sign that this guy is beyond reform.

Just to be clear I dont think he had a right to be mad. He should have been happy that you were happy back then, and happy that you are at least somewhat sexually liberated. I would have liked him to have said "That is awesome, would you make one of those for me?".
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