11
   

Did I deserve to be hit for cheating?

 
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  4  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:14 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Quote:
you do indeed think women deserve some sort of special treatment men don't

I don't think that. I would say exactly the same if it was about two men, or two women. When one has started using violence, it is (or should be) a relationship breaker and the victim of the violence needs to leave.

0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:15 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Quote:
you are the guy/girl who proves mysogeny is alive and well

At least I can spell misogyny, and I know what the word means too.
Tes yeux noirs
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:16 am
@Leadfoot,
Quote:
I can't believe so many give 'her' a pass on the psychological violence.

Psychological violence my ass.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  5  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:30 am
@Leadfoot,
I am not fine with cheating or cheaters, given there was a committed relationship, which would mean there was a discussion about expectations, in marriage or out of it.

Cheating happens to people and by people. Sometimes there are good reasons, although it is a poor choice for dealing with a spouse who is problematic. But humans do it. Much sorrow can fall from that, including sometimes to wreaking the destruction of the relationship.

That is not on par with hitting and then attempting to choke the partner.

False equalizing is going on here by people calling both partners the same, and not equating them is the reasonable stance.

All the warnings for her to get out are "right on".
Leadfoot
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:40 am
@ossobuco,
The cheating here had aggravating circumstances. By her own admission, she broke a dinner date with her partner of two years deciding instead to have sex with her ex. This implies it did not 'just happen' and it shows a level of disrespect that fully deserves the term 'psychological violence'.

I'm not excusing the guy but I would choose to be 'bitch slapped' and 'choked for 2 seconds' any day rather than be subjected to that kind of betrayal. That was far more than sexual infidelity.
ossobuco
 
  4  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:40 am
@ossobuco,
Hitting without choking is not ok either. It is also a sign of the time to get out.
0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:41 am
@Leadfoot,
Some people were shocked I promptly admitted I would slapper myself and one even talked about how the FIRST slap is a sign of things to come...well its all fine and dandy when we are talking most people's behaviour perhaps, but not with me. The "slap" would be symbolic and a guaranteed sign of total break up. No second slapping would come because if my wife did something like this she would earn a "pair of skaters" on her feet and out the door for good. To my mind my reaction the symbolic slapping would be absolutely proportional to her acts, intended to be something she would remember for her life.

I hate violence, I favour Neo Darwinism to brute force Darwinism, but if my wife cheated (specially with an ex) oh boy...no talking what happened, no debating anything, ONE single slap n off she goes for good. After cheating a relationship died period. That's my full frontal honest pov and I don't give a damn what others think about me. I KNOW I am not violent but I am not an idiot either.

...moreover when women complain men in certain countries don't want to get married any more that ought to make them review their cultural dead ends...but gold digging "black widows" its an entirely different topic.
ossobuco
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:45 am
@Leadfoot,
Of course he was aggravated by her action. He does not get to smack her and try to choke.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:46 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
LMFAO... you put women in a situation of special treatment because you think they are "frail", so misogyny applies perfectly to you...and shove the spelling up yours I am not a native speaker nor could I care less with debating writing when substance is the essence at hand. Your posting along with many others around is an anthem to common sense and vulgar cliché group thinking. Get your social correctness and shove it up yours hypocrite !
Tes yeux noirs
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:49 am
In fact, the emergence of violence usually sounds the knell for any kind of amicable relationship which was freely entered into, whether we are talking about same/different sex marriage or informal partnership, or just a friendship. Irrespective of the balance of "right" and "wrong" on each side, the victim of the violence needs to sever the bond. This is just prudent common sense, it has nothing to do with passing judgement.
ossobuco
 
  4  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:50 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
Yes, you are, if not an idiot in total, being idiotic.
0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:54 am
@ossobuco,
There is slapping and slapping. Its not like without witnessing the event you can tell by wording alone what kind of slap was intended here...
...there is no doubt an idiot who tries to choke her girlfriend immediately puts himself out of the picture for any smart women, but giving a pass on her unacceptable almost piss joking behaviour over an appointed romantic dinner to go have sex with an ex is a direct call for symbolic direct "we are over" slap...whether you agree or not is absolutely indifferent to me.
Leadfoot
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:54 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
I hear you. The attitudes displayed by some in this thread is a double standard PC bullshit understanding of misogyny.

I will not accuse the OP of being dishonest about the physical abuse but I have personally been confronted by cops after false accusations. Under questioning herself, my ex finally admitted that she caused her own injuries but it was a nightmarish experience.

0 Replies
 
Fil Albuquerque
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:55 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
The violence started with her and got disproportional with him...
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  4  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:56 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
We aren't talking roses. We're discussing a relationship where one of the individuals hit and choked the other. Hitting and choking are crimes. "Cheating" is not. There are any number of acceptable reactions to "cheating": from forgiveness to never being in contact with the cheater ever again. Nowhere in between exists hitting and choking.

The hitting and choking happened after the "cheating". These are two separate incidents. One ethical and the other a serious violation of the law.

ossobuco
 
  4  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:58 am
@Fil Albuquerque,
You slap me, you are gone.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 08:58 am
@Leadfoot,
What pass? Can you prove past a confession any act of "cheating" even happened? Where is the damage to the "cheated on"?

There are no justifiable occasions to strike first and choke.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  0  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 09:01 am
@bobsal u1553115,
I never said the choking is acceptable nor that is the point I am addressing here.
I already said that guy is an absolute idiot period.
I just commented that had it been my wife a small symbolic slap in the face would be the signal to get out of my life NOW period. I decided to be full frontal honest with myself knowing how much I love my wife and how such an act, sleeping with an ex over an appointed romantic dinner with me would be a DEFINITIVE ender of our relation. The actions of this woman WERE of extreme psychological violence.
Leadfoot
 
  1  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 09:01 am
@ossobuco,
Quote:
Of course he was aggravated by her action. He does not get to smack her and try to choke.
Are you really that thick? I was using 'aggravated' in the legal sense of aggravating circumstances.

But I think you're just trying to be cute.
bobsal u1553115
 
  3  
Reply Sun 10 Apr, 2016 09:04 am
@Leadfoot,
"Aggravating"????? You mean his immaturity needed to be aggravated so he could work up to a criminal assault?

She may be a "cheater", but he is a woman assaulting bully with anger issues.

If she's smart she'll leave him and remove his aggravation for him.

I would have called the cops the second he unhanded me.
0 Replies
 
 

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