I am not fine with cheating or cheaters, given there was a committed relationship, which would mean there was a discussion about expectations, in marriage or out of it.
Cheating happens to people and by people. Sometimes there are good reasons, although it is a poor choice for dealing with a spouse who is problematic. But humans do it. Much sorrow can fall from that, including sometimes to wreaking the destruction of the relationship.
That is not on par with hitting and then attempting to choke the partner.
False equalizing is going on here by people calling both partners the same, and not equating them is the reasonable stance.
All the warnings for her to get out are "right on".