Seriously thinking about starting this affair

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Hi everyone. Im 20 years old and Im somewhat stuck here. Ive been dating my gf for more than 3 years now. Shes great, i love her in just about every way possible as shes truly the best girl for me.

(Im over complicating things, i know...Just wanted some advice from older souls is all) However,ive always been super indulgent when it comes to sex since like 7 when i first learned to wank.. since then ive jerked almost every day if im not too busy...i need to do it.

ive always said i wanted a soul mate, someone to call my own for the rest of my life..I found her, and were getting married next year
nd now that i have that her...i still find it hard to keep my mind off other females and porn alll the time and ESPECIALLY hard to not think about my coworker...we'll call her S
S is the sexiest chick you could ever hope for. i fuckin swear. shes insanely fine. It killlsss meee, i love when we flirt around at work, and shes funny and sexy as hell. And she touches me in the sexiest little ways to show her interest ( like on my ribs /abs, or my neck, or bump into me teasing etc.)
I want to keep going with S and subtly build this amazing chemistry and keep appealing to her and eventually **** the living daylights out of her!!!!!!

Its so weird because i was raised to never do this to a girl.... But i reallyyy feel like S is just too good to pass up..

I dont really know what im asking here...I just wanted input from outsiders :/

Its killing me, and theres NOTHING i want more than to keep getting this girl to fall for me and please her beautiful asss forever and ever!!!!!!
Any wise thoughts please share

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Type: Question • Score: 16 • Views: 6,017 • Replies: 26

View best answer, chosen by Joedoe6

20 year old guys are not able to be in a committed relationship. You are proof of that.

At age 20, you should be dating a lot of girls. So make sure you are "single so you can mingle."

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@Joedoe6,

At 20 years old, you're too young to be tying yourself down to any one person. Having what I assume is exclusivity with your girlfriend since age 17 is a recipe for disaster.

So consider talking to her about taking a break from the relationship, if this is such a glorious opportunity for you.

Be prepared for this ending your current relationship. It probably will.

As for your objectified coworker, it's stupid to get involved with someone at work. Full stop. You'll poison your working environment. Your coworker is being inappropriate.

But I get the feeling it's not about this specific coworker; it's more about being tied down at an early age. Early intimacy, being super young and spouting on about love and forever are ways that people set up this exact scenario. Or you'll be looking to boink a coworker or the checkout girl at the grocery store or your neighbor's wife or whomever when you're 40 and have been married for 12 years and have 2 kids.

Yeah, that's not so wonderful, either.

But I would still consider talking to your girlfriend about exclusivity, and not with the coworker in your mind at all. Talk to your girlfriend about how things have been, and what her expectations are. She may be thinking she's all set for happily ever after. Or she might be feeling as stuck as you are right now, but doesn't want to hurt you.

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@Joedoe6,

Well I hate to disappoint you but your girl isn't really "the best girl for you" as you say if you get distracted by other females so easily.

It could be your age. As the others said you need more experience in order to have a serious relationship. The best thing you can do right now is ask from your gf to break up to avoid hurting her feelings later. You may think that she's the best for you, but you're probably not the best for her.

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@Anyday,

Thanks but honestly, id shun my coworker before leaving my girl... Its gonna be hard to avoid the chemistry but i guess its possible if i just think.about my girl instead

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@jespah,

Youre right in many cases it could be a disaster...But idk man, i think im.just gonna stick with my girl. Its just sooo hard to NOT be greedy about females. But idc, im gonna stick with her.. And try to ignore S i guess

2 Replies

@Joedoe6,

This sounds like a good decision. There are many single people out there that wish they had someone special in their lives. If you have the love of your life-she believes in you-she trust you-she wants to commit to you-DON'T PUT THAT IN JEOPARDY. Cherish the love that you have by being respectful, loyal and honest. If you can't do that at this time then let her know and walk away an honest man instead of a lying cheater. But it sounds like you're going to do the right thing and that's refreshing to see. KUDOS to you as a young man making a wise choose.

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@CeasarSalad,

You said it man. And whats really interesting is someone i thought was a friend was giving me advice to go ahead and cheat he said "bro, is there a ring on your finger yet?" As if it were a pass to do whatever i want...
Not too good of an influence for a dude like me..
But yeah, thanks Ceasar

1 Reply

@Joedoe6,

My nephew posed a question to me at 21, he had been with his lady since they were 13, felt he may be missing out on something.

My advise was, if you were to leave "J" to sow your wild oats, do you think that she would ever come back to you and if not, how do you think you will feel never having her in your life again.

He's 25, chose to stay with her, decided she was more important than a one of .

People flirt, people react to flirting, it's whether you act on it or not.

Your friend is only correct if you have no morals and it appears that you do.

In retrospect, you are already looking at tons of naked women via Porn, not sure if your girlfriend knows this or not, so be prepared if not, how to handle it in discussion with her.

1 Reply

@Joedoe6,

First good for you for coming to a place like this to get your thoughts out. Love and relationships are always hard chose to make. I like what I am hearing from you staying with your lady. I would look deep inside as you said you never belive you could be that person. Maybe something is missing in your relationship. Something you need. I hear so often women need this and need that and it's oh so true they do. But men have needs as well and more so the just sex. We need to feel like men feel wanted and desired and strong and smart as well. I sometime this yes men cheat for just list but also so they can feel that way again. If that I'd missing tall yo you girlfriend about it. I am sure she will want to help you feel your best.

I guy I know once told me about when you are thinking about cheating. " history before mystery " when I though about it he was totally right. You know you love the woman you got. Every other woman is something new and exciting that is true but she is not the woman you love. I also think by taking the step you will hurt who you are as a person and see yourself very differently and that scares me as you sounds like a goof young man with a head on his shoulders. Keep up the good your man and do something nice for you girlfriend soon. It will make you feel amazing to see her smile and know you put that smile there and it's only for you.

1 Reply

@ssharpe11,

Thanks man. the ass on S is just insane and i just need to look passed it. Its hard, but doable. And honestly, im not even good at articulating my thoughts to passages, but i wanna cheat for a reason... i feel like she may be unfaithful to me.. due to vague replies and messages, not replying for a couple hours, also on 11/16 this year she was acting funny about who she was on the phone with.. i wrote a note to myself to follow up on my suspicion at a later date (may seem weird) and MAYBE it was coincidence but there was calll history for every day BUT 11/16...

and she just different demeanor and lingo.. it feels kinda weird..idk. So i feel like mee cheating would condition me/ prepare me for the worst.

But if i cheat, and im wrong...as you said, its a mistake thatll ruin me inside and out

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@FOUND SOUL,

Very true...i dont wanna lose her but sometimes **** feels different in a bad way... and yeah that friend has no code...and my girl hates porn... i dont see why..its the best

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@Joedoe6,

You're just flailing around for an excuse.

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@Joedoe6,

I hear you man. My old lady did cheat on me thus past summer. I will tell you this your gut is often very true. During this time she did it I had some bad feeling as well. I did not do anything about it and I mean I prob would not have changed anything but I will say follow your gut feelings. But don't cheat to un revenge. It will not make the suitation easier to take or better. I had a chance this summer to do it as well I did not. And I don't regret not doing it. No woman is worth compromising your self worth and values. Best of luck man

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@jespah,

Ehh, im just trying to look at the whole picture.. But i hear you, my suspicions dont really justify the cheating

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@ssharpe11,

Thanks man. Why didnt you do it btw?? Was it hard??

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Whatever you do, just don't cheat. In romance cheating is always the only option that is definitely wrong.

Also if you feel this hot at work, maybe you just literally need to have sex with your girlfriend more oftenly?

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@Joedoe6,

It was hard me and the old lady where notn8n a good place in our relationship. We forgot to see the gift we had in ea h other. At the start things were great and they were for a lot of years but we both got busy with other stuff and put each other off till tomorrow. We this girl I know started messaging me and at the start was just chatting but I still know it was wrong. Anyways a week of chatting passes and one day the conviction turns sexual. Me and the old lady had been having sex but not the same as we used to. It was because we were horny more then wanted to make love. Anyways this girl who was hot, and I start taking about sex. She flat put tells me she is so horny. Come to her place now and let do something g about it. I hopped in my truck was driving to her place and about a block away pull over and think to myself what are you doing. This is not the person you are, I message her back saying I can't do this. She was right pissed off. I went back home proud of who I was. Would have been easy to do it and prob pretty good. But an hour of sex was not worth my honour and self respect. Now knowing that my old lady cheated on my around the same time. I am still happy I stopped. Yes it would have made us even and might have made me feel better for a while but I know long term I can hold my head hi know I did what was right that day

1 Reply

@ssharpe11,

Damn bro, idk howw you did it. Really. Im glad you told me how it is & not just what i wanted to. Thanks again

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@Joedoe6,

Wise choice to stay with your current gf. If she is the one, it doesn't matter if she appears at age 20 or age 35. You are lucky to have her. And take it from someone who has been dating for almost 30 years...there's tons of good looking women and the sex isn't better just because she's hot...its better if you love the person with whom you are doing it. And stop watching porn! It is sick crap.

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Seriously thinking about starting this affair

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