Should I let my ex-mistress know my wife and I are coming back to town?

How about telling your wife instead?

Unless you have proof that your mistress WILL cause a scene, etc. then do NOTHING.

She may be just as anxious to avoid you as you are to avoid her.

If she makes overtures, then tell your wife that this woman is unstable and could not accept that you two could not be together.

Until then, shut your mouth and behave yourself.

You are much too worried about yourself.

Thanks, Punkey. You're probably right. There is just a lot at stake here if she decides to make a scene. But yeah, I don't know for a fact that she would. Thanks again!

Any other answers would be greatly appreciated.

No. Do not tell her. If she's out of your life for good, it wouldn't make any sense to warn her or anything like that. You would be bringing your past relationship into light, or maybe she could understand it that way. If an ex-lover called me to say he was back in town, I'd probably think he was after something, like getting back with me or sex.
Besides, she may have moved on with her life. Maybe she has a new boyfriend. And if she doesn't...even if she comes after you, just don't talk to her. You're married and if you know what you feel and want in your life, stick by it. No matter who tries to change that. If you don't encourage her in any way, and don't talk to her again, I doubt she'll go after you...she'll realise it's pointless and will give up.

If the situation is like this I think that the better decision is to tell your wife. You will be honest with her and I am sure she will understand. Also the fact you want her to move with you shows that you love her. Wish you luck!

If you keep t in your pants you wouldn't need to worry, but don't tell her she will forever look at you differently

'The Mistress' - has been unstable.

Well off course, regardless of what you told her, she had hoped obviously, otherwise she wouldn't have continued and sounds to me that you didn't really respect her either, as "the lady" kept calling... would show a different thought there, than "the mistress has been unstable" or actually 'ex'-mistress.

So, all I can say is we make our bed, now we "lie" in it... You have to take what ever comes out of this.

What was the "honest" reason why you would not leave your wife? Because you are going to have to come up with a beauty, in my opinion, this "lady" when she sees you, will get angry because you cut off all communication and dropped her for dead.