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Emotional Affair vs Physical Affair

 
 
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 06:39 pm
I was having a discussions with a friend the other day about whether they think an emotional affair or a physical affair is more damaging to a relationship... Also which they feel is more easy to forgive...

So I looked it up online and found a poll where 74% of people said that an emotional affair is more damaging and a only 26% said that a physical affair was more damaging... Granted there wasn't an option for both..

I was surprised at the difference in the numbers.. For me I agree that an emotional affair is more damaging, just because I think that it is harder to forgive someone for giving their heart, their dreams, etc. to someone else... while a physical affair is giving your body... if that makes sense

So it got me curious to see if the poll was close to being correct..

So which to you all feel is worse
The Physical Affair
The Emotional Affair
Both Equally Damaging
Or insert other opinion here
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 08:17 pm
@Crazielady420,
most damaging and least easy to forgive - emotional
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 08:19 pm
@Crazielady420,
I don't really understand what an emotional affair means.

Is the idea that once you are in a romantic relationship, you can't have a deep meaningful friendships with other people? The line between emotional affair, and jealousy seems awfully murky. On the other hand, it is always clear what a physical affair is.

hawkeye10
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 08:25 pm
@Crazielady420,
i am a swinger and into BDSM:

emotional is far worse.

my wife has sex with lots of guys, that is fine, even to the point where she tells me after the fact, when I have not pre approved the sex. but her getting emotionally attached to the guys? her lying to me? OMG, that is not OK.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 08:28 pm
I answered quickly and erased it - those words would and have impacted me, but some tossed off words can just about kill a heart.

I've heard both, but emotional wins.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 08:51 pm
Let me ask my question clearly. I think it is relevant.

What is the difference between an emotional affair and a meaningful friendship?

ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 08:53 pm
@maxdancona,
Good question.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 09:03 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
What is the difference between an emotional affair and a meaningful friendship?

in one case they have executed ongoing relationships with honor, in the other case not. come on now, this is relationship 101, are you really so ignorant?
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 09:14 pm
@hawkeye10,
I guess I am so ignorant.

I don't know what it means to execute ongoing relationships with honor. It sounds awfully subjective.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 09:16 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
I don't know what it means to execute ongoing relationships with honor

you either leave old relationships or you get permission to start new ones
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 09:16 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
I don't know what it means to execute ongoing relationships with honor

you either leave old relationships or you get permission to start new ones
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Nov, 2013 09:16 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
I don't know what it means to execute ongoing relationships with honor

you either leave old relationships or you get permission to start new ones
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 08:43 am
Max, an emotional affair is when the heart is involved.
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 08:57 am
@Mame,
Hmmm... I guess I am still not sure how to make that distinction.

I am currently single and unattached. I have several meaningful friendships with women and men. My heart is involved in each of these relationships. I care about my close friends in a real way (even though I am not involved with any of them physically).

When someone is in a romantic relationship, do these close friendships with other people become impossible?

I don't have a problem with sexual exclusivity. But, emotional exclusivity is an odd idea. I want my partner to not have a physical relationship with anyone else. But to demand that my partner not have close meaningful friendships seems unfair and unhealthy in a relationship.


jcboy
 
  7  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 05:13 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

i am a swinger and into BDSM:


Just because you like having your ass tickled with a feather doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a swinger and into BDSM. Razz
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 06:11 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
I don't really understand what an emotional affair means.


It's whatever emotionally insecure people deem it to mean.
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 25 Nov, 2013 06:32 pm
@maxdancona,
Ted Cruz is the greatest political gift to the Democrats since the Iraq war.

You really should change this, Max. It deals a major blow to your carefully contrived image of fairness.

You know full well that Iraq was not a war. It was an illegal invasion of a sovereign nation by the US and its poodles.
0 Replies
 
Crazielady420
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Nov, 2013 09:17 am
It seems so far emotional affair is taking the lead... However I feel I should explain the difference

Emotional Affair is when I person in a relationship meets a new (or an existing friend) individual and begins to give their time to this person emotionally, while not meeting the emotional needs of their current partner because they are too caught up with this other person.. I.E texting all day, emailing, flirting.. but never taking it to a physical level. Sharing your secrets, hopes, desires while your partner sits at home looking for attention but your attention is focused elsewhere.

Physical Affair is when a person has physical sexual contact with another person that is not their partner however no emotions are involved. I.E one night stands, sex without follow up, sex with the same person but strictly sex without discussion of anything but sex. This also includes other sexual acts besides sex.

The there is the emotional affair that ends up turning physical or the physical affair that ends up turning emotional...

I hope that all makes sense, at least it is how I see it
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 26 Nov, 2013 11:32 am
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:

Hmmm... I guess I am still not sure how to make that distinction.

I am currently single and unattached. I have several meaningful friendships with women and men. My heart is involved in each of these relationships. I care about my close friends in a real way (even though I am not involved with any of them physically).

When someone is in a romantic relationship, do these close friendships with other people become impossible?

I don't have a problem with sexual exclusivity. But, emotional exclusivity is an odd idea. I want my partner to not have a physical relationship with anyone else. But to demand that my partner not have close meaningful friendships seems unfair and unhealthy in a relationship.


I don't think she was talking about friends - I read it that she was speaking about emotional/physical relationships between two consenting adults. Normally one doesn't have physical relationships with their friends.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Tue 26 Nov, 2013 12:23 pm
@Crazielady420,
The problem I am having with this emotional affair thing is that is so subjective.

I give time to all of my friends emotionally. And sharing secrets, hopes and desires, to differing extents, is a part of any meaningful friendship. I do this with my male friends as well as my female friends.

The key part of your description is the "not meeting the emotional needs of their current partner". Of course you can fail to meet the emotional needs of your partner even if you don't have any friends.

And, of course, there is the question of which of your partner's emotional needs are you responsible for meeting? If are dependent on one person (your partner) for all of your emotional needs, I think this unhealthy. The best relationships, in my opinion, are where both partners have close friendships outside of the relationship.

A Physical Affair is so cut and dry. If you are my girlfriend and you have sex with someone else, you are cheating. If you kiss someone else, you are cheating. There is a clear line. Obviously there is some grey area, if my girlfriend flirts excessively I might get upset. But, there is a clear line to a Physical affair.

But if my girlfriend has a friend (who isn't me) that they aren't sleeping with or kissing, do I have the right to be jealous? Does my feeling that isn't meeting MY emotional needs give me the right to demand that she not give continue in her relationship with her friends?

If I accuse my girlfriend of having an "emotional affair", this gives me the right to control who she is friends with and how she relates to her friends. I am not comfortable with this, particularly when the definition of "emotional affair" is so unclear.
0 Replies
 
 

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