So how are YOU today?

(about 10 minutes later?)

Material girl, my dear, if you want me to grant your wishes you'd better respond soon. My wand is getting tired, waiting .......

Sorry, had ot go to the post officem i have such a glam life.

Right, READY!!!

ZAP! Kapow!

Deep, booming voice:"Material girl, your wishes will soon be fulfilled!"



Betcha it works!

Hehehe.It better or youl need to refund the 'Spell school' classes you attended!!

I hope it works too.I need a definate change to my life.
Im even going on holiday,admittedly in 6 months but its a change for me.

Thanks for being nice.

A pleasure, my dear!

I don't wave my magic wand for just anyone, ya know!

And it WILL work! Trust me! It's a cinch!

Hey, a holiday coming up! You know, I was going to suggest getting away for a bit! Good for you, mg!

Id offer to put you in my suitcase and take you with me but I see you are from Austrailia, 24 hour sun!

Not quite, right now mg!
It's cold, wet, windy & miserable! Where I am, anyway.

Sounds like me on a friday night!

We have got your weather her in the UK, we stole it.Its been quite sunny for the last 2 days.

Well, enjoy it! Sunshine & warmth is good!

I will, I even wore a skirt yesterday.

Wow, a skirt! It must be warm!

Ha! I knew it the poms stole our good weather and are holding it to ransom.

Material girl be carefull what you wish for it might just come true.

Oy, Lord Ellpus.

If you werent a guy, I'da offered you a big ol hug.

How awful.

Yep we stole the sun and your nt getting it back,Its ours,all ours!!!!!!!!


Ooh, Id love my wishes to come true.Ive got some rather saucy ones!!!
Cant remember when a wish last came true

Ellpus, old bean...

My thoughts are with you.

Your mother's pattern of behaviour is quite normal (for pts with dementia, that is!). She's rebelling because she's sort of aware of that something's happening to her, but doesn't know what to do. And of course it's your fault! You see her - and she can't identify anyone else, so it's your fault. As her condition progresses, I'm afraid she'll fail to recognise you, so that pressure will lessen.

Unfortunately, there's no good news. Some medications may delay the deterioration a little, but their effect in vascular dementia is less certain.

British stiff upper lip time - sorry!

and how was Malta? One of those interesting places I'll probably never get to

And there was I moaning about giving up ciggies!

Sorry to hear about your Mum LordE. It must be so hard watching her deteriorate but you did the right thing. From the reports it appears that she is somewhat happy and enjoying the social aspect of the home but when she sees you she probably feels her loss, as in the loss of her independence. I am guessing that all elderly people feel miffed at the moment they are unable to completely take care of themselves, even if they don't feel it slipping away. It is a pity that growing old can be scarey and people feel burdensome at one point, when really their histories, stories and experiences would prove such an invaluable gift to younger people if only they had the chance or opportunity to share them when they most need to feel they still have some value. Makes me wonder what could be done to make them still feel valuable even though their physical and sometimes mental acumen are not what they once were. Good thoughts ... because there will be bright days among the upsetting ones. Hold onto those.

More hugs to you, Ellpus.

Are you OK?

Msolga, Heeven, Nimh and Margo.....you are all lovely people and I would like to take this opportunity to send three of you a virtual kiss.
Nimh on the other hand, has my full permission to kiss one of those Hungarian beauties that flit past his office.

Sorry about the earlier venting, but I just had the urge, if you know what I mean.

I went to the home that day, and sat by Mum as they explained that she had to stay on for a further six weeks, in order to make sure she was nursed properly back to health. She sat there and agreed with everything that was said, and seemed to fully accept the fact that she was unable to go home in her present state. It was as if she was a little child again, being shown the way by grown ups. This, I've come to realise, is how she is most of the time.
She seems to live only for the "now", if that makes sense, and the important things in her life now seem to revolve around the daily routines of the care home.
At the end of the little meeting, she was asked if she had any questions, and she asked what the time was. When told it was just gone midday, she got a bit flustered and told us that we had better get her to the dining table, as lunch was about to be served. I walked her to the table and showed her to a chair, and she said "Not THIS one....THAT'S my chair over there! I ALWAYS sit there!"

So.....after what I thought was going to be a crunch meeting with lots of tears, and after several days of worrying about it and dreading the day, she was only worried about missing her lunch and sitting at the correct place!

I still have the guilts that won't go away, and still have the dreaded task of clearing her place out behind her back, and STACKS of forms to fill in, but I can see now that she is basically much happier where she is, and that she has almost fully adapted to her new life. She can't remember where she used to live, can't describe it at all, and hasn't made one mention re. her beloved budgie.

Like I said, she only lives for the "now", and thankfully, the "now" seems to be quite enjoyable. No doubt she'll suddenly have a go at me about something or other in the future, but like Heev said, it's only because I am a connection to her past life.

One thing's for certain, it's bloody wonderful not to have the phone ringing constantly, and having to chase over every five minutes in order to make sure she's OK.

Again, thanks for your concern, guys.

.. & I'm so glad that the situation was not nearly as hideous & upsetting as you'd anticipated, Ellpus. A small reprieve, I know, but it could have been far more upsetting for you ..... & frankly, it's you that I'm most concerned about in this situation. Congratulations on this latest phase done well. Someone had to do it. And it seems that you were IT. (Even if it made you feel like crap doing it. )

Long time no post, sorry about that all and sundry and hoping you are all in fine fettle.
I put my demented mother in a home after a gruelling 2 years having her living with us; like yours, LE, she soon got used to it, but couldn't understand why her parents didn't write to her at boarding school. Heartbreaking. But they were so kind and lovely to her, and made her last 18 months much more comfortable than I could have done.
I hope I have the grace and understanding to allow myself to be put in a place like that if/when I get past it.
On a lighter note, it's a lovely sunny morning here in Austria, and I am going for a walk up to the market square!