I can understand why the father of a dead child may want to kill the murderer or even, in his grief and rage, want to burn down his town, but it can't be condoned, at least not in a civilized society operating with the rule of law. This isn't the Wild West or a vengeance themed action flick starring Jason Stratham or Denzel Washington.
In addition, it simply isn't true that every African-American who has participated in violent and destructive actions as a result of actual or perceived abuse of an African-American is anywhere near as emotionally tied to the victim as the father is to his daughter in your hypothetical. Or for that matter, has personally experienced a similar level of abuse.
There is every reason for every citizen of this nation (regardless of race, religion or ethnicity) to not only "hope" but "expect" that incidents will not result in violence and rioting. Or have you conceded and now accept that certain areas of our country, particularly, inner-cities are powder kegs, so volatile that even a perceived spark can cause an explosion?
It didn't happen in Charleston and that city experienced two terrible crimes motivated by racism: One perpetrated by a cop and the other by a deranged white supremacist. If any African-American community had a "right" to explode over such abuse it was Charleston's, and yet they didn't.
Meanwhile in Ferguson, riots break out after a black man is shot by a white cop. There are no videos, as there were in Charleston, that showed the cop clearly gunning down an unarmed man who was running away from him. In fact, we now know that the black man was attacking the cop and that (despite the insistence of some groups that a blatantly false narrative is true) the shooting was legal; and accepted as so by the Eric Holder DOJ.
So what's the difference? African-Americans in Charleston haven't experienced as much abuse from cops in particular and whites in general than those living in Ferguson? African-Americans in Charleston are not as "courageous" or "fed up" as those in Ferguson?
The difference, in my mind, is that, for whatever reason, the African-Americans in Charleston responded to these crimes in the way we should expect Americans of all races, ethnicity and religion to respond: Like rational, responsible American citizens. Maybe it's because I've spent a fair amount of time in Charleston, but I wasn't surprised. Were you?
(I should say I was surprised by level of forgiveness the families of the victims of the church shooting were able to display, but that level of grace surprises me whenever I see it, no matter who it's from and where they live)
For whatever reasons some of the citizens of Ferguson behaved very differently and frankly, I don't understand why. A lot of people were very quick to point out, as they should have, that all of the citizens of Ferguson were not rioting in the streets, that the majority of them (as was the case in Baltimore) were not and wished it wasn't happening. (Why wouldn't they? It was their neighborhoods and businesses that were being destroyed).
So we have plenty of examples where rioting and violence doesn't break out in black communities when a real or perceived injustice occurs, and where it does, the evidence strongly suggests it's due to a minority of residents (perhaps even some outside agitators).
Of course, black Americans are as capable of restraining their anger and outrage as white Americans, perhaps, given their history, even more so, and even if they have more frequent cause for anger or outrage than do whites, our expectations of them as responsible citizens shouldn't be any less than it is for any other group.
It's not a coincidence that the greatest advancements in civil rights have been achieved through very deliberately non-violent methods. Black American are as smart, as savvy, as wise as white Americans. They figured it out and it worked. Reacting and overreacting to situations violently does not work. From a purely practical consideration, as long as black American constitute a minority of only 14% it never will work. So not only is it illegal, and immoral, as a political strategy it's stupid.
Expecting less of black American than is expected of Americans of any other race, no matter what the setting may be is, in my opinion, insulting to them and a form of racism.
Do we need to address problems of unequal justice (both in policing and jurisprudence)? Yes, but we also need to approach these problems holistically and with an understanding that they involve socio-economic factors as much, if not more so than race. In any case lowering expectations for abiding by the law is certainly not the answer.