24
   

I hold grudges. How do you not hold grudes?

 
 
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Sat 21 Mar, 2015 06:19 pm
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:
Why did you misspell centers?

'Centre' is the spelling used outside the USA. It is not a misspelling.

farmerman
 
  4  
Reply Sat 21 Mar, 2015 06:35 pm
@contrex,
so you all misspell it?
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Mar, 2015 07:33 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
FOUND SOUL wrote:

Ignorance is better than holding Grudges.

In-other-words, if someone lets you down to the extent that it hurts/bothers you, instead of holding a Grudge, ignore them for ever.

There is nothing more bothering to another person than being ignored as if they do not exist. It eats at them, for doing what they did but for you, it sets you free to forget what occurred and move on.

No room for negativity in any of our lives.


FS, re the sentence I bolded above, isn't that a form of grudge holding then?

If you're aware that it's bothering a person that you're ignoring them, it's like a delight to you that they are being bothered.

When I'm able to not hold a grudge, it's when I can see that it's me being able to not be the jerk. It's not that I'm ignoring the other person, or the action that took place, it's that I put it in it's proper place. That means not letting something take up valuable brain space, rent free.

Most of the time, the other person doesn't even know you're holding a grudge against them. Now how stupid is that?
roger
 
  2  
Reply Sat 21 Mar, 2015 09:27 pm
@chai2,
Anyhow, how are they going to know they are being ignored.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 21 Mar, 2015 11:00 pm
@roger,
Many people make a great show of ignoring you.
roger
 
  3  
Reply Sat 21 Mar, 2015 11:21 pm
@chai2,
Madja notice me, didn't I?
0 Replies
 
layman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 01:39 am
@farmerman,
Quote:
Fresco: From the point of view of "the committee nature of self", the "I" that holds the grudge is as ephemeral as the "I" who evokes the grudge. It could be a case of folie a deux on the part of transient committee members.

This picture is taken from Gurdjieff's psychological position, in which he also says "negative thoughts" constitute "wasting of energy by wrong work of (brain)centres" thereby impeding progress towards "higher consciousness".

I have no personal view on the matter other than an appreciation for "the system" as a potentially functional construction.



Quote:
could you summarize that?.


I can, Farmer: Utter bullshit
0 Replies
 
fresco
 
  2  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 02:14 am
@farmerman,
A summary would not do it justice. I believe PQ (the questioner) may already be familiar with the material.

In order to get to grips with Gurdjieff's esoteric system (which attracted many intellectuals and celebrities to his door in the 20th century) you really need to read something like Ouspensky's "In Search of the Miraculous".You will find plenty of references via Google. The "system" flourishes to this day and has mutated to semi-cult status in its offshoots like "The School of Practical Philosophy" (aka "The School of Economic Science") which gives public evening courses worldwide. In my opinion the psychology is insightful even if the cosmology is weird.
NB "centres" is the British spelling of "centers"

(Don't worry about layman. He's just a big kid following me around because I've had a go at his obsession with Einstein)
fresco
 
  2  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 02:52 am
@farmerman,
BTW Here's a good bumper sticker from Gurdjieff.
Quote:
Until he uncovers himself, a man cannot see.
0 Replies
 
layman
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 03:09 am
@fresco,
I knew a guy once who spent the whole day, for weeks on end, memorizing biological cladistic charts. He could recite the latin names for hundreds of species, and name their genus, family, etc.

Thereafter, in any conversation that arose, be it the latest baseball scores, a popular movie, or whatever, he would find some way to relate it to biological taxa and begin reciting some crap from memory. Even though he knew that he didn't know anything of substance about evolution, he managed to convince other people that he did, even if he was extremely boring.

Then he got real ambitious and started memorizing various other technical jargon related to cladistics, such as plesiomorphy, homoplastic, phylogenetics, paraphyletic, etc. He didn't really know how to use them properly, but neither did anyone who was unfortunate enough to be exposed to his lectures.

His name was Harold, and he really wasn't that bad of a guy, but he came to a tragic end when a guy got so sick of hearing him drone on that he hauled out his .45 a busted a cap in Harold's ass. So, ya know, a word to the wise, and all....
timur
 
  2  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 03:21 am
@layman,
Reminds me an Isaac Asimov's quote that fits perfectly Layman's discourse:

Asimov wrote:
“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'
layman
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 03:46 am
@timur,
Quote:
...democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'”


"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard." (H. L. Mencken)
fresco
 
  3  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 04:05 am
@layman,
Laughing
I know a guy, who as usual, having nothing original to say for himself specific to a topic, tended to resort to tangential quotes from H. L. Mencken
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 06:00 am
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:
so you all misspell it?

It's Americans that misspell it.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 06:47 am
@The Pentacle Queen,
Yo, PQ...good to see ya.

You are in bad trouble here with Fresco giving you "advice" and Timur encouraging him.

Anyway...if you hold grudges...you simply hold grudges.

Your life might be much better if you didn't...but that is not a sure thing.

In any case, I doubt there is anyone who can tell you an effective way to stop. This tendency is probably something that has been with you for a lifetime...and as you speculate, may meet some need that you have.

There are worse thing to be...than someone who holds grudges!
timur
 
  3  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 06:51 am
Frank wrote:
You are in bad trouble here with Fresco giving you "advice" and Timur encouraging him.


The only trouble PQ can be in is having you in one of her threads..
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 06:57 am
The trick to holding a Grudge is to grad a hold of something soft and really dig the fingers in....and of course dont let go, thats very important . The trick to not holding a grudge is to do the opposite .

You may close this thread now that I have enlightened yall . Cool
0 Replies
 
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 08:23 am
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

Holding a grudge is just a way of trying make yourself important.

If you hold it inside, you're just making yourself the king/queen of universe. Someone dared to do something you object to, and you're not about to forget it.

When you share it with others, you're simply annoying everyone you know, complaining about the same thing over and over. Again, trying to make yourself important.

There, maybe that will help you see what you're doing in clearer light, and knock it off. It's just an immature waste of time.

BTW, I think it's funny you just recently realized you hold a grude. From even the casual reading of your posts, it's been obvious to me for years. I'm not saying that to insult you, but to show how we can completely ignore a personality trait that right out in the open for the whole world to see.


It is also quite funny though that on the years of posting on all these threads I've never said a bad word against you but you have constantly trolled my threads to find ways to call me immature and self-important. Take your own advice Smile

But yes, I agree that holding grudges is probably a way to make ourselves feel important in some way, as Fresco says. I have two main grudges currently, I'm working out how to get rid of them.
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 08:25 am
@fresco,
Yeah basically I need to meditate.
Still not got round to it Sad
The Pentacle Queen
 
  1  
Reply Sun 22 Mar, 2015 08:31 am
@George,
Fresco is one of my favourite people on here, but also the person I find it hardest to imagine making a cup of tea.
 

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