Should I have another kid?

Soz, You're easy to know because you are such an open person. You've shared yourself with us over the years. I feel privileged. (OK I'll stop being maudlin.)

Now, if I may lecture you a bit. Indulge me OK? I worry about you a little. Not as much since I met you and EG and Sozlet, because I saw what a great family you form together. Sozlet is obviously mad about her Dad. But I know what it's like to be in a relationship where the spouse works long hours. It's tough. It's lonely. I went back to work to save my sanity. I don't regret it. I've made my kids proud, too.

Life wasn't perfect for them, but who's life is? I always told them, no one is entitled to perfect parents. I'm glad to see EG's working on a solution to bring him home more. He's missing a lot and I'm sure he knows that. "Silly domestic requirement? I think not." He will be the one who regrets not spending more time with Sozlet. They grow up so fast.

OK, I'll stop now. I need a tissue anyway.

What if you're not just good, but great - OK, no Hawking perhaps, but still great - and would be held back by marital loyalty to your husband's career?

Mind you, thats said with a laugh and a smile and not hardly in the soapbox style it must look like on screen ... I mean, you've obviously thought and spoken about it at length. And like you said, his ambition (and intelligence, etc) is also what appeals.

Still you know - it wouldnt be the first time for such a thing to happen in the world!

:-)

For what it's worth, E.G. gives me a good deal of credit for being where he is now. Not just the patience/ flexibility part but a lot of advising on political matters/ how he should handle certain situations. For example, he was just asked to be part of the faculty senate. That's a big deal, he was flattered and tempted, asked me what I thought. I pointed out a lot of things. Like, no way would the time commitment be just "one meeting a month", (as it was being sold to him) there would be all kinds of subcommittees and as the person with least seniority he'd have to do all kinds of dirty work. It's the kind of politics he likes least, the sitting there listening to bureaucrats natter on rather than really accomplishing something. He's been getting a lot of attention and a lot of accolades fast and is in danger of a backlash among his peers -- better to let it be known that he was asked and turned it down than to accept. Etc.

He agreed, said no.

But yeah, I'm not the kind of person for whom "behind every great man is a woman" will suffice. <picture a heroic view of E.G., pan to me standing behind him glaring, then I flip off the camera and stomp over to my own area and get busy...>

Swimpy, I worry about me a little too. ;-) The volunteer thing worked great for me, but that last organization was crazy-making and I'm nervous about getting into something like that again. I plan to keep my schedule open until I find an actual paying job (part-time), then fill in the gaps with interesting stuff.

Bless y'all. :-)

The work of art child comments on the having it all thread just reminded me <in a massive bolt of light> of one of the things I didn't like (no - really hated) about being an only. The attention.

As much as my parents were excellent in terms of giving me lots of 'space' as a child, I often wished there was someone to distract them when I'd done something good/interesting/hooray-worthy. Other kids' parents were so busy balancing 2 - 7 other kids that my friends mostly just lived their own kid lives (unless they did something horrid).

I think I'm gonna start a "raising an only child" thread soon, to get that kind of feedback/ info. Thanks.

Yeah, it's something I'm already aware of from my own only-kid experience, and something I'm conscious of, giving her her own kid life. Again the slacker mom/ boredom thing.

yes! I can relate to that. A sibling to take some of the heat for doing something wrong as well when your school report said 'Vivien works hard at the subjects she likes' - noone to distract them from endless nagging!