@contrex,
thank you for your straightforward/direct response.
we are in an adult relationship, we both are in our LATE twenties already, we not young anymore.
yes i am shy (I don't know why, it not like it the first time I have sex with him)
, maybe I was a virgin when I sleep with him.
BUT...
I still NOT feel confident enough in myself or feel good enough for him,
Maybe it due to I was belittle, and verbally put down abuse by my mother during my whole childhoold.
i'm sure this is why i have self-doubts, and low self-esteem.
you right, i need to work on this. I need to start by reading some self help books regarding confidence and low self esteem.
contrex, can you give me your advice to my post above your reply, regarding to his matching band rings, do you take that as an proposal? i'm confuse myself, i don't know what he really wants inside his head.
yes eBeth, he is well aware of my mother belittle, and verbablly abuse me when i was little, he knows all this before we start our relationship.
What he didn't know was that one time where my mom physically beaten me with a belt, and slap me many times across my face, which lead to I got taken to 'foster home" for few years, due to my mom domestic 'child abuse' me.
I have told him that already over the weekend. He still with me, so I guess he didn't mind at all.