Why do guys with girlfriends look at me?

Forums: Relationships, Help, Dating, Love, Men
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I've had guys tell me they think I'm cute. I have never thought of myself as super attractive at all (I don't wear makeup ever) but I notice sometimes some guys look my way whether I'm on campus, in class, or studying in the library.When they're pretty cute themselves, I tend to be a little bit interested as well. But it always turns out too good to be true; I eventually find out they already have a gf. (This has happened to me three times!)
It's so frustrating and every time this happens, my hope dampens. Sad

Why does this always happen? And more importantly, how do I let it stop bothering me so much??

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@jibberjabber,

jibberjabber wrote:

Why does this always happen?

Guys look at girls. Period.

Quote:

And more importantly, how do I let it stop bothering me so much??

It will bother you less as your time at college passes.

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Oh come on . . . EVERY guy that looks at you - and peaks your interest - already has a GF?

If so, then increase the number of times you look at guys. At SOME point one of them has to be "available." The odds just have to change.

PS Sure this isn't just your way of having some fun? Like teasing-with-the-unattainable-so-I -don't-have-to really-work-at-this type of fun?

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@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

peaks your interest

Piques your interest/curiosity

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@PUNKEY,

Of course it's not EVERY guy, but in the past the attractive guys who always stare at me turned out to already be taken. And then I get bummed out. Sad

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@contrex,

contrex wrote:

jibberjabber wrote:
Why does this always happen?

Guys look at girls. Period.

Quote:
And more importantly, how do I let it stop bothering me so much??

It will bother you less as your time at college passes.

Absolutely on the first.
On the 2nd, the day will come when you'll realize they're not looking. If all you had going for you was the fact men looked at you, you'll have a tough time then.

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@jibberjabber,

You know the rule of cute guys with girlfriends, flirting with other girls.. No go zone and so your question really is why should they do it if they have a girlfriend when you are taking it as a possible "date to come"....

What a compliment if you use it to your advantage, that being, take it in, acknowledge that you are cute instead of thinking that you are not and smile in that knowing.

Realise that "people" compliment with no intentions as well and mean it.

Quote:

And more importantly, how do I let it stop bothering me so much??

Stop looking at it as if they may be a potential date and look at it for what it is. Obviously you are cute, it's recognised. Just keep using your intuition and weed out those that have girlfriends as " a compliment" nothing more to those that don't.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

Hm that's true.... I should probably stop idealizing it as a potential something!

1 Reply

@jibberjabber,

jibberjabber wrote:

Hm that's true.... I should probably stop idealizing it as a potential something!

Not probably - definitely.

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@jibberjabber,

jibberjabber wrote:

I've had guys tell me they think I'm cute. I have never thought of myself as super attractive at all (I don't wear makeup ever) but I notice sometimes some guys look my way whether I'm on campus, in class, or studying in the library.When they're pretty cute themselves, I tend to be a little bit interested as well. But it always turns out too good to be true; I eventually find out they already have a gf. (This has happened to me three times!)
It's so frustrating and every time this happens, my hope dampens.
Why does this always happen? And more importantly, how do I let it stop bothering me so much??

It's normal for anyone to look at an attractive person ( wether male/female). You seem to think it's not. It's disrespectful for a person in a relationship to seek the attention of another. You don't seem to understand the difference.

1 Reply

@Germlat,

Darn it...this happens when I'm cooking and posting on 2 blogs at the same time. This response wasn't meant for you. Laughing

disregard . Embarrassed

. As far as you...Are you asking if they are in a relationship from the very beginning ? That may be helpful.

1 Reply

@jibberjabber,

Quote:

I've had guys tell me they think I'm cute.... Why do guys with girlfriends look at me?

Post a picture of yours and I might tell you why.

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@jibberjabber,

Never become a fisher, you will be upset that the big cute ones dont instantly jump onto your hook.

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There was a time when I was convinced that I got more attention from attractive girls after I already had a girlfriend. I thought maybe they had some sort of radar and were testing their ability to steal guys away from other girls.

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@FBM,

Nah! That's the General Perversity of the Universe in action.

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@FBM,

FBM wrote:

There was a time when I was convinced that I got more attention from attractive girls after I already had a girlfriend. I thought maybe they had some sort of radar and were testing their ability to steal guys away from other girls.

Yep..this is why.... Many females compete with one another for attention. By getting the guy's attention , they are sending a message to the girl: made your boyfriend look. I was able to get his attention. It doesn't mean they want the guy.

1 Reply

@Germlat,

Yeah, it took me a while to figure that out and to not take that extra attention too seriously. I'm a slow learner, but I usually eventually catch on.

1 Reply

@FBM,

FBM wrote:

Yeah, it took me a while to figure that out and to not take that extra attention too seriously. I'm a slow learner, but I usually eventually catch on.

I think it's extremely tacky when a guy is scanning the room for attention . Of course a short glance is normal and only human....but I've seen guys on a date continuously checking out women. Middle aged guys are the worse...I don't know why, but possibly to prove to themselves they are still attractive.

2 Replies

@Germlat,

Is it any less tacky for females to do the same? For middle-aged women to (possibly) be proving to themselves that they are still attractive? Just checking for double standards, mind you. Not accusing.

1 Reply

@FBM,

FBM wrote:

Is it any less tacky for females to do the same? For middle-aged women to (possibly) be proving to themselves that they are still attractive? Just checking for double standards, mind you. Not accusing.

.
Not at all...Just as tacky. But--in the case of females it is less prevalent behavior in middle age.

2 Replies

Why do guys with girlfriends look at me?

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