husband wants threesome

Hmmm no experience to speak from on this one ;-)

I know a friend of mine was once staying some place with her boyfriend, and the other couple staying in the same room at some point "invited them over" ...

They let that opportunity pass. He kinda balked about it, and so they were doubting ... for too long, heh. I'm sure he wouldnt have liked it (knowing him), but she seemed a little regretful about it when she recounted it <grins>.

Still, yeah, the idea's probably more interesting than the reality would have been ...

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Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

I'd be interested in seeing what your husband's reaction would be to your requesting a second man in the bedroom. Why does the guy always think he deserves to be the "one and only?"

I wouldn't do it. There's a very real possibility that they'll end up having sex behind your back and you're going to be the one on the outside looking in.

If your husband needs to bring another woman into the relationship, you have every right to bring another man in as well, right? Why do we always have to be the ones that are expected to "share?" I don't think so.

Sue I think you are over-reacting here a bit. I am sure there are plenty of guys like that, but it doesn't have to be like that in this situation.
Lot of people tried threesome and it was not disaster. Lot of people would never try it and that's completely okay.
Only important thing is does she really wants to try it or not.

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Not overreacting at all, just curious. What these people choose to do in their lives is ultimately none of anyone's concern but their own.

I'm just curious to see what would happen if it were the wife who suggested bringing another guy into the picture. My guess is that it wouldn't go over too well. I'm just interested in knowing why it's usually the woman who is expected to compromise and "share."

I can't think of many men who would be willing to bring another guy into their bed for their wife's enjoyment and am just making an observation.

Seems like it's always the woman who is expected to compromise.

Kind of an outdated notion.

If my wife would suggest that I would say "hooray"
Really. As long as there are no M-M contacts I mean, I have no problems with M-M contacts between people that like it.

Generally, however, you might be right. Although I doubt that it's the case for people that have lifestyle as swingers or that often do that sort of things - I think they are both pretty liberal in sexual matters.

Why is that. I don't know. Maybe that actually is some kind of machism, but maybe it's also true that (at least I think that) there are much more bisexual women then bisexual men. Maybe I am completely wrong, of course, but from people that I know I kinda got idea that guys are mostly either straight or gay. Actually, although I am sure that they exist, I never ever met or heard about anyone being bisexual male.
And I also think that girls flirt with bisexuality much more - many of my female friends told me that they had some kind of experience with another girl, mostly it was when they were really young, and mostly it wasn't real sex, more like kissing and stuff...but, still, I think girls do flirt with bisexuality much more then guys.

Of course, you are generally right. If someone wants to try MFF threesome and his wife is okay with it but asks for MMF threesome, he should be fair and agree.

I think you people are sad, i'm only 16 but I hope when I have a wife I respect her enough not to do such things. If you do go through with this friend threesome thing i don't see your marrige lasting to long, things like this don't strengthen a marriege they break it. if you want to have a strong foundation for your future get over your demented and sick ways and try to live a life that each of you respect oneanother.

I'm friends with a couple who tried this. The female decided to go for it to please her husband and look like she was the "cool wife". It kinda backed fired on both of them. B/c after the first time the guy liked it, so he kept asking to do it with other girls. After awhile she started becoming insecure and she needed constant reassurance from her husband. When she didn't recieve it she became angry and turned to someone else. She had an affair w/ someone else and now they are divorced. They both grew apart from each other. I'm not saying they were perfect b/f the threesome but it sure didn't help. You should think long and hard b/f you do something like this.Marriages are about trust and commitment. A threesome can at times make you forget about both.

in one part you are completely right. you are 16

Hey nappy, before you start commenting on sex...why don't you try getting your own noodle wet?

Young grasshopper, you will find some day women who dig other chicks are godsends.

To some.

Exactly my point. I wonder what would have happened if rather than have a two woman/one man threesome, the wife had brought up the possibility of two men/one woman. My guess is it would have never happened because the husband would never be so approval-seeking. Why is it the woman who seems to have such a need for approval? Sad.

And yes, if there is no trust or commitment there's no point being married anyway. If someone's into this kind of thing, that's their business, but why bother getting married? Kind of defeats the purpose IMO. Stay single, have sex with anyone you want and as many people at a time as you want, or no one if you want. And you have no relationship to maintain. Less baggage = less chaos. I'm all for less chaos.

And isn't their business will they get married too? You know, there are couples that actually love each other but their views are not same as yours - there are swinger couples, couples that enjoy threesome, etc...

Your guesses, by the way, are completely wrong. Although izzyrose and you are right that it's stupid to get into threesome if you have problems with it.

Don't like men much, do ya Sue?

Sounds like you have had some bad experiences -- but is it possible that you could be overgeneralizing just a tad?

(This is in response to several recent threads btw, not just this one.)

Me thinks I hit a noive. LOL

There's this recurring assumption here (the 'double standard' thing), that men would quickly run away if the suggestion was the other way round - bring in an extra guy.

Actually, I'm guessin that theres plenty guys who'd go for that, too. Its jus' not something you'd brag about like with the girls.

Threesome
The closest my man and I ever came to a threesome was when our 9-year-old cat jumped up on the bed while we were engaging in intimacy. He reached over to pet the cat. We both started to laugh.

"Hey honey, if you have a free hand capable of petting, pet ME!" LOL

Neither my man nor I have a swinger mentality. We are perfectly content with what we have together--we have no need or desire to include a third party. (YUCK!)

If you indulge your hubby's fantasy, I'm pretty sure that you will regret it in the future. My advice: DON'T DO IT!

Re: husband wants threesome


Um, Debra, SueZCue, are you two sure that you actually READ her post? She is not thinking about doing it because she wants to please her husband, but she also has pretty obvius interest in that.
And, Debra, while it's completely okay that you and your husband don't need third person, it's definitely not okay refering with "YUCK!" to those that do want to try it.
Moral is not personal category, and as far as we can go in defining moral would be to say that everything that everybody involved is completely willing to do is moral. You can find few exceptions (e.g. it's probably not moral to kill someone healthy because he or she really wants to be killed - but that's not completely same because in 99,99% of cases that WILL include other people that are not willing - like, killed person's family and friends) but very very few. If three people have sex and they are all willing to do it completely, I really don't see why anyone would had desire to moralize to them.

Who said anything about morality? We all define our own morality and it's different with each individual. I'm talking about complicating a relationship with unnecessary baggage (another person.) If someone else doesn't mind this and it works for them in spite of it all, I say great. But from my perspective, for my own life, it just seems like a lot of unnecessary drama. If it works for you, though, knock yourself out!

Well honey when you get back from Oklahoma we need to talk.....but not for a couple of days...actions speak louder than words.....

In my deviant years in the rock and roll lifestyle I've been involved in more than one threesome, gang bang, etc.

It's fun and all, but I have a beautiful wife who satisfies me on every level sexually AND is my best friend, my most avid supporter, the person who knows me better than I know myself. Since I'm 15 years older she will probably end up changing my diapers when I'm on my death bed, and will do it with love and mercy, as I would for her.

That's worth a lot more than any sexual adventure.

Actually, squinney just won't do it :wink:, but I did mean all that other stuff.