If someone asks a morality question, it is answered on those terms.
In this thread--if the author had said, "Should I have a threesome?" She would have opened herself to a whole bunch of moralizing. Since she didn't, most people here (it seems. I haven't done a survey) try to answer the question ("How to approach a friend for a threesome"), rather than tell her she shouldn't do it.
Looking back over the thread, it seems my above post was partially incorrect.
Few respondants actually answered the question of How To Approach A Friend For A Threesome. Almost everyone seemed to think it was such a bad idea, but framed their responses as "logically" a bad idea, rather than "morally".
Anybody else care to wade in as to why you did this? It's sort of interesting, now that katya has brought it up. Any other reasons other than not wanting to apply your moral standards on someone else's situation?
Mostly, how it would be received by the poster/ what the possible impact would be.
If I feel strongly about something and just want to state it for the record, even though I know it doesn't actually contribute anything useful, I will... I've certainly done that.
But when a person is asking for advice, simply saying "you're a bad person and you're wrong" isn't likely to be useful. Pointing out some of the reasons why something is problematic, in a nonjudgemental way is more likely to be listened to and to be useful.
Also, in this case, I don't personally think that threesomes are inherently wrong. If they are entered into (er) by fully competent, aware adults, well, go for it. It's not something I'd want to do, but who cares?
As long as you approach it with a playful attitude and I wouldn't worry too much. As long as niether of you are too needy I don't understand why there should be any problems.
As regards approaching her, just drop the suggestion some time. If it's on great! If not, well at least you'll be carrying one less "what if" on your back.
No Way would I ever do a threesome. I'm not into women at all and I have no desire to be with two men at once. One man at a time is enough for me...LOL.
I'm not into making moral judgements about people who engage in threesomes (or any other sexual activity). As far as STD's go I don't think it's a wise thing to do, but to each his own.
Sofia wrote:Anybody else care to wade in as to why you did this? It's sort of interesting, now that katya has brought it up. Any other reasons other than not wanting to apply your moral standards on someone else's situation?
Speaking from experience is not moralizing, it's speaking from experience :wink:
I'm not into women, either, doglover. But I LOVE the idea of having two men at once! I think I'd be better off leaving it in the realm of fantasy, though. The reality couldn't possibly be as hot!
(And what if he LIKED it?!
Wouldn't THAT be a turn-off!!! "Honey, I just can't get it up tonight. I need another man to be here." Oooooh. No no no....)
Eva, you are always good for a bite of reality
Thanks
Hmmm.....this place is getting interesting, thanks to Sofia.
Meanwhile, Jenny disappeared, haha!
I was appoached for a 3-some once......this couple took me out for dinner in a very expensive restaurant, which I thought was really sweet of them. So around desert-time, he says to her, "Do that thing for me, honey?"........and she proceeded to massage her nipples till they got hard.......and I wondered how much a cab out of Manhattan would cost me (I was desperately poor, at the time) and wished I hadn't come in their car and felt threatened and abused and angry, as well as scared to be with two people who, till that moment, I had thought of as my friends.
Well....I was stuck, so I made believe I hadn't noticed their exchange......yeah, I really did that......I wouldn't do it today, though.......last time it happened again, was a year ago, and I got up, said, "That's flocking disgusting....." walked out of the place, got into my car, and drove off.
Why do they always do that in restaurants, I wonder?
Maybe to minimize the threatened abused and angry aspect? I'd imagine it would be that much worse if you were in their home. Easier to walk off, get into your car, etc.
Thankee, Bill!
You went back a second time, katya?!
So, you've stopped going out with suspiciously friendly couples, right? :-D
It's always funny when the husband wants to try a threesome. You should definately say yes......provided the third is another guy.
spencerswede wrote:It's always funny when the husband wants to try a threesome. You should definately say yes......provided the third is another guy.
Yea I second that. Even though I'm male you can say from an objective point of view that you should take care of your personal sex-fun first!
So you better get it on with two boys, or with another girl if you have those homosexual kind of feelings...
People are using "moralizing" in a bit of an incorrect way, they are referring to a specific kind of morals while not being divested of them.
I.e. different criteria for morality, not a lack of morals.
jennylo_9,
Jespah gave good advice. If you want this there are plenty of places to look. Just stay safe.
As an aside, I've been involved in several different setups like this (both with multiple males and with multiple females and various combinations), it was not much fun (by that I mean I only tried each combination once, and preferred one on one. I never sought it and it just happened that way).
It never hurt any of my relationships because it was usually with close friends or strangers.
But it was not my cup of tea, too confusing, most of the times I quite halfway through because it was too mechanical and not very exciting. your mileage may vary.
Seems from the replies it might be more fun to talk about with your spouse, than to actually go through with it. A mind (imagination) can be a wonderful thing!
Craven, one question: When you and the other guy trained the girl...did you guys high five?
