My boyfriend has been cheating on me with his ex(s)

Hi, I recently found out my bf is cheating , he makes claim that the reason is to shut her up because she makes threats to take him daughter and move. When I found out he has slept with her 5-6 times in the last 3-4 months, I told him I am done but he is fighting for me. He is taking her to court and filed the paperwork today, he says he knows he messed up and is going to do everything he can to make it right, if I give him that chance....I have not agreed to anything but have told him that he needs to take care of what he needs to for himself before he can fix any kind of relationship with me, even a friendship if that's all it goes back to.

I have known him majority of my life as more of an aquatence. We have a lot in common which makes me want to at least keep the friendship but I don't know how to decide if more than that is worth it. This is not the first time he has gone back and slept with his ex and the excuses seems to always be the same, she will take my daughter and run!! He knows his ex cannot do that but the sex was a way to shut her up and buy him time...I understand that letting her in a little was a way to keep things from getting ugly and having sex with her kept her from being the crazy psycho that she is. I have seen the messages that he has sent since he told her no more, enough is enough and they do reflect his story that she is going to take his daughter and leave town.

I am not sure what to do at this point. The relationship was perfect, we were very intimate and stayed with each other almost everyday so this was all a huge shock to me and every one of our friends, they are as much surprised as I was to find out! Is there maybe a bigger issue that I am not seeing of why he has gone back and slept with her when things were so great?

Curious.

How, in any way, does having sex with someone "shut them up"? I mean, let's be honest here.

Are you really buying this?

Can't your MIND of a genius figured THIS out?

Asking questions doesn't always mean that I am asking them for myself.

I would say you're losing credibility, but you have none to lose.

So I am basically safe?

Wow, where do I start. I'll put it like this. In ur situation I would be the "ex girlfriend /babys mother. My ex husband lies and cheats all the time. He has a girlfriend, that he has denied so he can have sex with me and ruin all my relationships. My advice for you, is to leave him alone. Ur relationship was based on a lie, and putting a ring on ur finger is not going change who he is. Every that was in the dark came to light, so its ur choice to be a fool or be wise and woman up. Hope that helps.

I know exactly what you mean. I'm going through the same thing right now with my boyfriend. we been together for 9mths and I recently found out he was talkin to his ex. they been together for 8yrs. and also had a bad relationship.... the relationship between us is great I've always been there for him, never turned my back on him. but as he tells me he loves me and he's happy. I've asked him to leave numerous of times but he doesn't want to leave he says he loves me and he don't want to leave me. honestly I believe he wants his cake and eat it to. so today I found out he's been sleeping with her so now I'm like should I just kick him out cause I really don't want to hear any excuses he has to say..... I really don't know what to do I need advice what shout I do?????

8 years and still hasn't married you. So you know he's sleeping with another female? What's wrong with you that you should expect so little. At least if you were married you would be entitled to half the assets accumulated during the relationship...talk about giving it all away for nothing....I hope you don't expect a medal after he gets someone pregnant....

He was with the ex for 8 years. MzJuicey's been on the scene for 9 mos.

So really, from the ex's perspective, he's cheating with MzJuicey.

All a matter of perspective eh.

For sure right? I see it now!

Same exact thing happened to me (to the extent I had to stop and wonder if you are talking about my ex) look up NPD and ASPD. Then ask again if you want to get out or stay

I wrote it before looking at the comments because thats what he is. Its like being baffled a ton of people say look up "broken leg" when someone describes falling and hearing a cracking and excruciating pain in their leg.

8 (EIGHT) years with an EX, not with Jucey!
WHY can't you read? WHY? WHY? WHY????

I am the girl my ex cheats with no matter what relationship he is in. He is now with a 26 year old and he is 46 but has been cheating on her since they met and she doesn't know or she knows and ignores it. Either way she never contacted me about it or I would tell her.

Why do you think you are not together? I'm not judging --But--it seems very curious....can you not trust one another? Or do you agree monogamy is impossible and are willing to deceive those around you to get sexual satisfaction /emotional satisfaction?. Is this man what you hoped for your life? Are you not enough for one another?

We are not together as a couple in the sense of the word. Of course I believe in monogamy. I am not excusing my behavior it's a connection neither one of us has been able to let go of.

So--that's why I wonder if the connection is so strong, why aren't you together? I wonder if you think about that or if it matters?

I had the same issue, except I let it go on for 6 years before she finally permanently left me for another man.

She had always had problems with lying and infidelity (like you said) but I bought her bull **** every time she said she was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. Eventually it got so bad that she started seeing a therapist (sound familiar) to talk about it.

I found out she had been cheating on me for weeks before she finally decided to break up with me in favor of the new man. She's cheated on him already also (according to our mutual friend).

It's sad to think that these sort of people exist in the world but they do and you need to just cut your losses now and let him go (I know you won't do this because I didn't, but BOY I wish I did).

That's figures...you are stupidly let a person cheat on you for years???
So you loved her that much and now you can't understand other people's loving someone to the point of that they can't control it? Strange disposition.

How old are you? I'm really beginning to question whether you're even out of high school or not. Your posts are so illiterate. It would also explain the lack of maturity in the content of your posts.

I never said I couldn't understand. In fact, my post shows the opposite. That I DO understand as I was in the same situation. I even highlighted that she would not listen to anyone's advice here and would likely go on allowing herself to be deceived BECAUSE I've been there. Read the post next time before making a fool of yourself, please.