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Update! Asks me out after rejecting promposal

 
 
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:40 pm
Asks me out after rejecting promposal
I asked my co worker to prom on valentines (last friday) and she got really emotional. Her face went all red and was in near tears. She said some guy had asked her in school that very day. (explains why she had a rose on her that day at school which she had said a friend had given to her.)

She hugged me continuously throughout our shift that day and at the end of that shift while we were in the storage room she asked "You want to do something for valentines?" I hesitated but declined, saying "it was too forced." now at the time, I thought she was doing it because she felt bad for me. Then 90% of my friends have called me an absolute retard and have suggested I kill myself for not saying yes!!!!!!!!

She knows I like her, previously, I had told her I wasn't going to spend money on girls I don't like (yet I promposed with half a dozen roses and a rice krispise that she likes.)

What's even more depressing is that I asked another girl today to prom and she ended up taking 40 mins of my ******* time and couldn't make up a decision.

BOttom line: Should I ask this co-worker out over march break or has the opportunity came and went?

__________________________________________________

SUMMARY


I asked a co worker to prom att he beginning of our shift, she said no but she asked me out at the end of our shift. I declined as I thought she was saying it to make me feel better for rejecting me but most of my friends have said she meant it seriously. Was wondering if I should take a go and asking her out again (if that one counted) for march break?????

once again, man thanks to your help. Any and all advice is much appreciated!
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:43 pm
Jeez, ask her out already.

She wants to go out with you, ok?

Can't be much clearer than that.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:44 pm
@mandophon,
Ask her out.

Don't make a big story/production out of it.

Just ask her out.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:44 pm
@chai2,
You know, you could have just added this onto your other thread.

http://able2know.org/topic/235466-1#post-5584661
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:45 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

Ask her out.

Don't make a big story/production out of it.

Just ask her out.


Kids today, huh?
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:50 pm
@mandophon,
loosen up. too much worrying for a young'n
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 05:53 pm
@Ragman,
ragman, you wanna go out for coffee and a donut?

Maybe a slice of pizza and a coke?
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:05 pm
@Ragman,
ugh I know lol!

See the one thing I can't get over is the fact that she's so popular...and I'm not nearly as popular as her so the inner ego is telling me. "There's no way she likes you, guys flirt with her all the time. " It's a silly thing but its got me.

@ chai2
I'll be sure to edit my threads instead of posting new ones, regarding similar situation next time!
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:11 pm
@mandophon,
When do you see her again?
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:15 pm
@chai2,
oh, you sweet talking thing. anytime at all.
0 Replies
 
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:28 pm
@ehBeth,
I see her tomorrow (Wednesday) and Fridays. That's when we work. As well, I just recalled that I had no choice to say yes on friday. Rather a twist of fate really. I haven't gone out with a girl since grade 10. My parents literally sat me down the night after she rejected my promposal and said "since u got into *good University*, we think it's fine for you to get back on the horse."

I sorta made a rule for myself to focus on studies over the weeks and really ask her out before march break. Unless that's too late? I was thinking to let the drama from my promposal settle down first!

BTW THANKS ALL FOR THE REPLIES! PLEASE, KEEP THEM COMING!
chai2
 
  4  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:33 pm
@mandophon,
mandophon wrote:

ugh I know lol!


@ chai2
I'll be sure to edit my threads instead of posting new ones, regarding similar situation next time!


You don't edit your threads. You just go in and put in a new post. You started an entirely new thread. Just click on My Topics or My posts and it will be right there.

Look, I've got a date with ragman in 15 minutes, I gotta go.

See how easy it was?

Now stop being such a putz and take care of business. Don't come back here until you can tell us you have a date with her. What? going to a movie or a cup of coffee is going to compromise your entire academic career?

gawd.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:42 pm
@mandophon,
It's only a drama if you make it one.

Ask her for a coffee/whatever this week. It's doesn't have to be a massive event. Spend an hour or two with her away from work. Talk a little, get to know each other.
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:51 pm
@ehBeth,
@ chai2 as well.

You're right you guys. I'm going to ask her out at work tomorrow for coffee on Thursday. Any advice as to what good topics to brng up and some no no subjects?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:55 pm
@mandophon,
Stay away from anything gossipy about mutual friends/acquaintances.

Talk about movies/music/shows coming to town/plans for March break. If it goes well, you'll have more ideas about what interests you might share and what you might invite her to in the future. People really really really like it if you remember things they mention liking/enjoying.

Try to relax Smile spending time with someone you like should be enjoyable, not stressful.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 06:58 pm
@mandophon,
No.

You're on your own.

I would think an intelligent person can figure out what topics would be really offensive and to avoid.
Conversely....you do realize there are going to be two people talking to each other, don't you?

She may surprise you and actually say something herself to start a conversation.

I don't get how people are so nervous about taking to someone else, like it's your total responsibility to ensure every single thing is perfect.

Your not giving the other person a lot of credit for having a brain in her head. It's not your job to talk at her. It's 2 people communicating. What? you think she's just going to sit there staring and not say anything unless you do?

What next, do you want to know what color underwear to put on, or whether you should wear a green shirt or blue?

Knock it off.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 07:03 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
I don't get how people are so nervous about taking to someone else


the reality is that's where things often go wrong at the beginning of relationships/friendships

a former colleague who fancied herself a dating expert (based on what? who knows) said that people should avoid situations where they'd have to talk too much to each other for the first three or four dates. Her rule was movies/concerts only for the first few dates - no coffee, no meals, only events where people were side-by-side, not talking. It's not an approach I've ever followed, but there was some sense to it. The less you talk, the less of a mess you can get yourself in.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 07:13 pm
@ehBeth,
And just because she's popular doesn't mean she's shallow. It's entirely possible she would rather go with you to the prom thingy you mentioned, however, she was right not to back out of the other date, because that is shallow. She apparently respects honoring commitments. She offered an alternative, and I don't know why it didn't occur to you that she seems to enjoy your company. Be careful not to let wounded ego blind you to possibilities.

You did say something that I found annoying, you mentioned some other girl wasted your '*******' time. It's not the coarse language so much as the attitude.
The first girl you invited showed a sense of dignity that many young people don't possess, well, many people, period. Make sure you sharpen up your courtesy skills. I bet your mother will tell you the same thing.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 07:17 pm
@ehBeth,
I've always figured the sooner you let the person know you're human, the better.

IMO, it's better to make a faux pas right up front to break the ice. Drop something, bump into a door, make a joke about it and move on. Now you've put the other person at ease because now they don't have to be as careful

You're right, I don't know where your former colleague thought herself an expert. I'd be unimpressed if for 3 or 4 times in a row you never even got to talk to the person. What if after that time you realize you're not a good fit? Now you've wasted all that time you could have been having fun getting to know someone else. It also sets up the expectation that there's not going to be a lot of communication.

If I or the other person is going to mess up, I'd rather have it happen first or 2nd date.
Keep in mind though, my idea of messing up gives a lot of leaway.

From my dating days, 2 that come to mind, that never made it to a 2nd date...
One guy spent the entire night bringing up how I would be such a good mother. Even after telling him I wasn't ever going to have kids.
The other one told me all about all the different toilets he used while he was in Europe.

I had plenty of other dates though, where everything didn't go perfect, and that's what made them so great.

The first great love of my life met me for our first date by climbing out of his dorm room window to where I had stopped to talk to someone. He fell flat on his face.
Later, I climbed back with him through the same window, into the room. Hubba hubba. We were together for about 8 years after that.

Messes are fun. It shows us for who we are.
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Feb, 2014 09:03 pm
@glitterbag,
ya, I got really irritated because what happened was she couldn't make the decision of a yes or no and the vice principal came by TWICE as I was waiting/ talking with her to get an answer and it made me extremlyyyyy uncomfortable to the point where I honestly just gave up.

Completely understand what you mean, apologies for the bad choice of words, I'm not some dick that does that...just really irritated about that situation is all.
0 Replies
 
 

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