When I was about 8 and my brother was a freshman in high school, he used to play this game called "Pancake" where he used lie on top of me with our shirts lifted up and move around. I used to think what had happened was just a game, until a few years ago when I began getting intimate with my boyfriend and I would have flashbacks to the game, specifically how uncomfortable I was with the feeling of someone on top of me and the worst was very prominent smells that guys have down there. I don't remember anything further happening with my brother, but the entire happening makes me feel guilty and uncomfortable to share.
I don't want to be an attention-seeking person, nor do I want pity. I don't tell anyone because I'm ashamed of it so it's neither of those motives. I just need some sort of certain answer to stop me from questioning my past.
Many times I get extremely uncomfortable in sexual situations now, and I've cried during intimacy because I remember it and I can't get it out of my mind.
Please offer kind advice on whether you would consider it or not. I need this label of whether I was or wasn't just to either come to acceptance or rid myself of this misperceived memory.
(Forgive my fonetic spelling.)
Any reports can
have and probably WILL
result in a great, intense
reaction from government, causing very permanent drastic results.
In a best case scenario, your brother can be put to many,
many thousands of dollars of legal expenses and be permanently
put on a predator list. For years, his life can turn into a nightmare
of fear and negative emotions, his good name lost forever.
His life woud be ruined for what he did as a young boy (what, 13 ?)
It woud be almost as bad as killing him.
If u were in your brother 's position, how woud u feel
about those matters coming to light in front of parents
and to the police? His future employment opportunities?
His future marriage opportunities, because of rubbing bellies
in his childhood?
In my opinion, a brother shud be treated better than that.
In similar situations, some guys have been driven to suicide.
I think that u can only make matters catastrophically worse
by complaining of or reporting his conduct in his boyhood.
If it were me, I 'd feel very guilty for doing that to someone.
There is no going back after u take the first step.
Then it is out of your hands. How woud your family take it?
U described the event as occurring above the waist.
That is not as bad as otherwise.
In the future, if a future boyfriend or husband found out,
do u think he 'd feel safe around u
, if he thinks there's a chance
that u will report any questionable or doubtful conduct of his to the authorities??