What are your pet peeves re English usage?

Krekel wrote:

I've posted something on this forum, I think my English has let me down. I wrote:

'He'll has to use a sledge hammer'.

Shouldn't it be:

'He'll have to use a sledge hammer'?

Or was I right in the first place?

He'll have to = he will have to, is correct here.

Hey that's interesting.

"If he has to come back, he'll have to buy another ticket."

One is conditional, one is future. Isn't life complicated.

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I hate people using slang or dialects other than Queen's english.

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brimstone wrote:

I hate people using slang or dialects other than Queen's english.

And what is the Queen's English when she's at home at Holyrood?

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Steve...

Quote:

And what is the Queen's English when she's at home at Holyrood?

huh?

You're thinking outside the square again, Steve. Sometimes I get the impression your brain is the cerebral version of an early-prototype Rubik's Cube which didn't quite make it onto the market because if its grossly flawed design.

http://www.kenzy.com/smilies/rotflmao1.gif

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Some personal remarks have been made on this thread which are perhaps a little unfortunate.

Insofar as I may have started it, in attempting a little joke, I am sorry for that.

Maybe we could return to discussing language peeves and language in general.

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Your apology is most graciously accepted, McTag - and I think it's big of you to own up to having been primarily responsible for the inclusion of certain unfortunate remarks being made here of an insensitive and callous nature.

On behalf of McTag may I also extend a very sincere apology to you, Steve.

http://www.liquidninjas.com/bbs/images/smilies/klan/cool.gif

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To help things get back on track - one of my pet peeves is being told by pre-programmed service people to "Have a nice day!"

It's so phoney - it's so insincere. It almost betrays an artificial intelligence in those who are heard to utter these inane words of fraudulent bonhommie.

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I wholeheartedly concur.

I would add, the presenters on radio (especially the BBC morning show) who, when introducing a guest, say

"A very good morning to YEWWW"

A simple "Good morning" is fine. The rest, insincere clutter.

And, I don't like being told to "Take care" by people who don't know me. Am I being too grumpy?

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I think we are being a bit finnicky, McTag. I'm not so much annoyed by these artificial affectations of speech as I am interested in them as all being part of a living and creative language.

Every era has its colloquialisms, and its playful affectations and whimsical set of responses and conversational pet-phrases which enjoy wide popularity amongst the Great Unwashed for a certain number of years before they expire.

Every class and strata of society has its idiosyncratic turns of phrase and pet-words and little affectations of speech.

Your BBC presenters are really doing no more than trying to inspire an upbeat enthusiasm and happy expectation that the guest might be someone of interest to listen to.

I wonder - do Londoners still go around saying 'D'you know wot I mean... ?'[/i] at the end of every sentence... ?

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Not just Londoners, if you catch my drift...know wot I mean?

Which reminds me- Monty Python had a character based on that, did they not...say no more, squire.

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herberts wrote:

You're thinking outside the square again, Steve. Sometimes I get the impression your brain is the cerebral version of an early-prototype Rubik's Cube which didn't quite make it onto the market because if its grossly flawed design.

thanks Herb I treasure these comments. Along with..."I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve". That still raises a smile.

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McTag wrote:

I wholeheartedly concur.

I would add, the presenters on radio (especially the BBC morning show) who, when introducing a guest, say

"A very good morning to YEWWW"

A simple "Good morning" is fine. The rest, insincere clutter.

And, I don't like being told to "Take care" by people who don't know me. Am I being too grumpy?

I heard the "Minister for Constitutional affairs"...minister for unreconcilable affairs more like

Charlie Falkener say on radio 4 this morning the word "sure"

as SHOOOEER. And he said it again just to be shoooeer.

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Steve...

Quote:

thanks Herb I treasure these comments. Along with..."I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve". That still raises a smile.

Hello... ? That wasn't me who penned the words... 'I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve'[/i]. Even on a bad-hair day that's simply not my style.

And don't take my 'Rubik's Cube' comment personally. I'm just experimenting with whimsical concepts and imagery for my forthcoming book and you just happened to be standing there bang-slap in the middle of the road as I aqua-planed right up your arse on my bald tyres and my locked brakes...

Oh sh*t! There I go again abusing and using you as a laboratory guinea pig for my next literary masterpiece. Sincerest apologies, mate. I'll be sure to put an apology and dedication to you in the Forward - promise. Maybe put a little of the royalties your way too...

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Hey Mct
and Herb

Did you hear Blair in Aus. talking about the global battle for western values against Islamic fundamentalism? He's not so shy about associating terrorism with Islam any more. I was quite shocked he now seems to be admitting it really is a clash of "civilisations", or rather imo of civilisation against medievalism.

(couldnt be bothered to start new thread apologies)

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herberts wrote:

Steve...
Quote:
thanks Herb I treasure these comments. Along with..."I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve". That still raises a smile.

Hello... ? That wasn't me who penned the words... 'I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve'[/i]. Even on a bad-hair day that's simply not my style.

No it wasnt it was Material Girl but we are friends again so I didnt want to mention her. No offense taken Herb, I'm offence-proof, but some royalities would always be nice.

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herberts wrote:

Steve...
Quote:
thanks Herb I treasure these comments. Along with..."I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve". That still raises a smile.

Hello... ? That wasn't me who penned the words... 'I thank everyone who has contributed, except Steve'[/i]. Even on a bad-hair day that's simply not my style.

And don't take my 'Rubik's Cube' comment personally. I'm just experimenting with whimsical concepts and imagery for my forthcoming book and you just happened to be standing there bang-slap in the middle of the road as I aqua-planed right up your arse on my bald tyres and my locked brakes...

Oh sh*t! There I go again abusing and using you as a laboratory guinea pig for my next literary masterpiece. Sincerest apologies, mate. I'll be sure to put an apology and dedication to you in the Forward - promise. Maybe put a little of the royalties your way too...

If you like that style you would like Alexei Sayle's books are you familiar with that oeuvre I've just read three recently on the spin on the bounce so to speak one after the other and they're a hoot I recommend "Barcelona Plates" you'll wet yourself.

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Steve (as 41oo) wrote:

Hey Mct
and Herb

Did you hear Blair in Aus. talking about the global battle for western values against Islamic fundamentalism? He's not so shy about associating terrorism with Islam any more. I was quite shocked he now seems to be admitting it really is a clash of "civilisations", or rather imo of civilisation against medievalism.

(couldnt be bothered to start new thread apologies)

No I dint I try to avoid him on TV the little ****

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McTag wrote:

No I dint I try to avoid him on TV the little ****

Actually when I met Blair I was surprised how tall he was. (And I thought the peerage at only 1.2m a snip)

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Did he really say that? There's so much superfluous and inane crap being peddled on the Australian news services nowadays that I hardly pay attention anymore. The news services open with some item about sport - and this sporting theme usually continues in one guise or another right up until the end.

If Blair has been making remarks of this sort then what the hell is this cretin doing promoting himself as the chief advocate for Turkey's joining the EU... which if they succeed will ensure the prospect of Europe being further flooded by even yet more Muslims... ?

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There you go, McTag - I'm appointing you Chief Witness for the prosecution in the case of Herbert versus Steve upon the charge of criminal libel.

First he ascribes this to my penmanship but then when challenged admits he has shamelessly and without due conscience fitted me out by verbaling me with the aforesaid...

That's just cost you a life-time royalty and a flyleaf dedication. You haven't started the day well have you... ?

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What are your pet peeves re English usage?

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