6
   

Could someone review my assignment?

 
 
kair0s
 
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 05:21 pm
I've been away from school for quite some time now, so it'd be nice if someone could review my sentence structures and grammar. I know there's likely many flaws in my text; could someone help me by reviewing it? I would really appreciate it!! It's an annotated bibliography assignment.

Schulz, Dieter. "Notes toward a Fin-de-siècle Reading of Kate Chopin's The Awakening" American Literary Realism 25.3 (Spring 1993): 69-76. Web. 5 July 2015.
Schulz explores the era which Kate Chopin came from. He describes her influences and the distinctive flavors, symbolisms, motifs, and trends of her time. He explains how most critics ignore these influences when forming an opinion of the novel, and he believes that they often perceive the novel in their own cultural terms. He connects the literary elements of the book to the works of popular poetry, art, and literature of that time; and explains how the book encompasses the mood of the end of the 19th century. Schulz interprets The Awakening as a "mood novel": a mood interconnected with the fin de sièle.

Recep, Mehmet. "Kate Chopin's The Awakening in the light of Freud's structural model of the psyche." The Journal of International Social Research 4.19 (2011): 413-18. Web. 5 July 2015.
Mehmet Recep argues against the common opinion of Kate Chopin's The Awakening being a feminist novel and that Edna Pontelier, Chopin's protagonist, is a prototype of feminism. He elaborates by giving many examples of why Edna is not in pursuit of women's rights; but she is rather fulfilling her immoral desires. Mehmet then examines Edna's behavior through the scope of psychoanalysis. He uses Freud's 'structural model of the psych to suggest that due to not having a strong ego to balance out the demands arousing from the repressed 'id', Edna undergoes a psychic abnormality; which in turn causes her to act in such a manner that is in disagreement with the customs of her society (the superego).

Urgo, Joseph. "A Prologue to Rebellion: The Awakening and the Habit of Self-Expression." The Southern Literary Journal 20.1 (1987): 22-32. Web. 6 July 2015.
To Joseph, The Awakening is a story about Edna's need to speak, her need to express herself and to narrate her own life. Joseph recognizes the story as a proto-feminist awakening, furthermore, he perceives it as a "achievement of speech." He suggests that it is vital that Edna attempts to express herself and without doing so her life with remain with no significance. The tragedy in The Awakening, as Joseph points out, is that Edna cannot go on narrating her own life without it being ordered by the doctrine of others, and she would rather extinguish her life than have it to conform to the vision of others.
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 05:56 pm
@kair0s,
I think your writing is mainly good. Check Strunk & White (just Google them or "The Elements of Style", IIRC, the book is free online) for semicolon usage. Some of your sentences seem a bit run-on; try to break them down (that tends to make them easier to read, too). Look out for passive voice and try to squelch it (there's a place for passive voice, when you're talking about victims or trying to avoid mentioning someone or something directly, but neither are the case here). Also, in the last bit, you refer to the author by first name. Use the last name instead.

Mostly, though, the writing is clear, and you seem to know your stuff!
kair0s
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Jul, 2015 06:25 pm
@jespah,
Thanks, I'll definitely take a look at that book; semicolons are amazing, although I often misuse them.
I actually I don't know my stuff, I'm just good pretending that I know my stuff and appearing smart on paper. Smile
0 Replies
 
GrammarIsMyLife
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Dec, 2016 01:41 pm
@kair0s,
Maybe attempt to begin less sentences with "he", and try to switch the beginnings up a little :-)

Other than that, it seems pretty good.
0 Replies
 
Twinks082000
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 12:08 am
@jespah,

Hi guys have assignment due soon a couple of hours left. I want you guys to read my intro and if possible the rest of my essay. It would be a big help Smile. Can anyone review my intro desperate! sorry for doing this on your board.

A subplot is when multiple characters in a story and their lives are intervened, so it creates a parallel between their lives that further dramatize the actions in the play as well as highlighting underlying themes. The play “King Lear” written by William Shakespeare is about a king who divides his kingdom based on a love ceremony, which results in his youngest daughter banished from his kingdom; choosing his elder daughters over Cordelia. This parallels to the life of the earl of Gloucester as who banishes his son Edmund choosing one child over the other. King Lear specifically emphasizes a complex subplot to further dramatize the play as it contrasts the fragmentation of the two protagonist’s life King Lear and Gloucester, which is seen through the roles each character played. This is seen through the characters of Lear and Gloucester, Cordelia and Edmund, and Regan, Goneril and Edmund.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2016 08:46 am
@Twinks082000,
I would break down your complex sentences so they read better. You know what you are talking about, but the sentences could be a bit more readable. E. g.
you wrote:
The play “King Lear” written by William Shakespeare is about a king who divides his kingdom based on a love ceremony, which results in his youngest daughter banished from his kingdom; choosing his elder daughters over Cordelia.


Whereas I would say:
jes wrote:
William Shakespeare's play “King Lear” is about a king who divides his kingdom based on a love ceremony. This results in his youngest daughter being banished from his kingdom, when he chooses his elder daughters over Cordelia.
0 Replies
 
 

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