Me and my loving boyfriend decided that we were ready to have sex after two years of dating. We have been somewhat sexually active since we started dating, so I really have no hymen and we have never had a problem with my being in too much pain.
I was anally raped when I was 16, I have told my boyfriend everything and we have emotionally dealt with it, for the most part.
Yesterday we decided that we wanted to express our love for each other. We started with some foreplay and we used lubricant. It was the worst pain I had ever felt. I knew it was going to be extremely painful, but I didn't think I would be crying basically the whole time. We tried about three or four times, doing some foreplay in between. It was awful. He nearly got inside me (8") and we didn't dare thrust because it hurt so much.
He was very loving and completely let me set the pace. But he couldn't bare hurting me and so we called it quits.
I have been in writhing pain all day, not just tender, but horribly sore. I'm not allergic to latex, so it's not the condom. I can sit or walk without tearing up...
Since he WAS able to get inside me, I am wondering if my past sexual abuse is leaving me mentally incapable of letting myself relax. I could relax my muscles until he was in, then I uncontrollably would tighten up and I couldn't stop. It was horribly painful.
My sweetheart wants to wait for a week or so before we try anything again. But we are still worried that there won't be any change. We just need some advice.
Visit your OB-GYN and rule out anything physical first.
Then you should seriously consider counseling. It isn't mentioned anywhere in your post, so I am going to operate under the assumption that the "we have emotionally dealt with it, for the most part." line is you and your boyfriend and not you and a licensed therapist. You also do not say how old you are. 16 1/2? 46? 96?
Dealing with rape trauma is the kind of thing that you need to bring the big guns in for, and work with a professional. There is no shame whatsoever in getting proper treatment for an injury to your psyche - it's what you would do if your arm was broken, right?
0 Replies
kumaramit
0
Reply
Fri 23 Sep, 2016 05:31 am
@samnie444,
Good to hear that your partner is very understanding and carrying about you , come to the topic that you are good enough but you next time try other ways of sex that is different angles.
0 Replies
High Strangeness
-3
Reply
Mon 26 Sep, 2016 09:10 pm
@samnie444,
Quote:
..we used lubricant. It was the worst pain I had ever felt..
Double check that you didn't use 3-in-1 bicycle oil by accident
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