Lost virginity after 2 weeks. It's a mess now. Need advice.

Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 10:30 pm
Hello. This is my first post. I made an account and everything because I would really appreciate some advice right now.

I am an 18 year old boy who happens to be gay, and I'm a senior in hs. I met this guy almost 3 weeks ago. He's a junior in hs. we have a lot in common, and could talk for hours. We hit it off immediately. We'd spend every day together for hours. He even met my parents, and I met his. We were pretty into each other- so much so that we could help but going down on each other after the 2nd date.

It seemed like a great relationship, however we were sort of rushing things. I was a virgin before I met him, but he'd had a few boyfriends before me (who he's had sex with). We like each other a lot though and it was going well.

He slept over at my house a few days ago because there was a huge snowstorm and I didn't want to drive him home with the roads in a shitty condition (great excuse, right?). So anyway... this was a little over 2 weeks after we'd met. We decided to get drunk, so we each had about 5-6 shots of whiskey. We're pretty horny and he starts dry humping me. We get naked, still just humping. I feel ready, so I toss him a condom and he fucks me. We spent the next 2 hours talking, laughing and just watching youtube videos and stuff.

Anyway- here's the shitty part. He just texted me apologizing for how "he" rushed things, and that it was too soon, and he messed up. He's saying how he's still "in love" with his ex. I calm him down, but he says when we met he was rebounding, and that he still has feelings for his ex. I ask him in he even likes me and he says he does. I like him a lot too, so much that I felt like I would love him someday, and our relationship would last a while (for me, a while is months, as I'll go to college in August). Anyway, i feel like he's trying to break up with me so I tell him that we rushed, and we need to slow down and get to know each other better. He agreed, so we decided to hang out next week and just get to know each other better.

What I think was going through his mind was that he wants to break up, but he took my virginity, so he's in pretty deep now (sorry about the pun). I like him, and he says he likes me. We are going to meet p next week and just hang out (since I'm out of town for the next few days).

tl;dr dated 2 weeks; sex; he's freaking out now.

I would really appreciate some help on this. What do you make of it? Any advice? Did I do the right thing? I'm trying to salvage our relationship because we really are good together. Thank you.
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Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 10:39 pm
Well, you're going to college in August and my guess is, he doesn't want to get too close to you since you're leaving in August. He might be on the rebound, he might not be - none of us can be sure.

I think, when you meet him next week you should address these issues and be open and frank with him. Hopefully he opens up and is honest as well.
Good luck!
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2015 10:43 pm
Thank you. We've spoken about how I'm going to college soon and he says how he doesn't see us being together forever and that's a problem for him. I see nothing wrong with having a great relationship for 9 months, and then seeing where things end up. August is a long time away, so I'm hoping he sees things through my eyes. Thanks for your reply Smile It helps.
Reply Thu 19 Feb, 2015 07:38 am
I agree with you that a 9 month relationship is perfectly fine (and can be a sexual one). The vast, vast majority of relationships don't last forever. It need not binary, where you date to be together forever or you don't see each other at all.

However, I have noticed that that very sort of binary thinking is big with people who come on here for advice (which is the chicken and which is the egg is a discussion for another day). I chalk it up to that.

PS If he's a junior in High School, and you're a senior, then you were both drinking underage, if you live in the United States. You need to cut that out; you can get your parents into some massive legal trouble. And speaking of them, where the hell were they in all of this? Do they know you're gay? If they don't, then you should seriously consider coming out to them. If you have condoms in your bedroom and guys coming over who you are introducing them to, then it's only a matter of time before they figure it out. Better for them to know because you told them, than that they had to conjecture.

Because your lover was under 18, this can make for some major problems for you, and for your folks, too.

Sorry to be the bearer of the end of fun, but there are some nasty consequences if they are arrested for providing liquor to a minor, or you end up on the sex offender registry. This is regardless of sexuality, I might add. I would be raising these concerns if your lover were female, or you were, etc.
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