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I'm a virgin but my girlfriend isn't.

 
 
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 11:29 am
(Male 21) I've gone out with this girl (20) for 2 months now and she happens to be my first girlfriend ever. She is great! Great personality, kind heart and likes me for who I am. I've never had trouble with talking to women because I was raised with 3 older sisters who encouraged me to not be shy. When it comes to sex my parents have always told me to wait to fall in love for it will mean something greater than a casual hookup. I never liked relationships due to all the drama my friends used to go through in the past. My mom asked me to try getting into a relationship so that I wouldn't be a lonely 30-year-old guy in the future. Luckily for me, I found someone who I feel I can create a future with but one thing seems to always bother me. Her first serious relationship was with a guy who she knew constantly cheated on her. She had sex with him to keep him focused on her and the relationship instead of the other women. I know she was a young 16 at the time but I never gave up my V card when I had women wanting to bone. I know it's a long time but does she deserve what I've held on to for so long when she gave into temptations. You guys will probably view me as an ass whole but these images keep popping up. Out of the 3.52 billion girls in this world she will have me, knowing that no other girl has been with me. But out of the other 3 billion guys in the world there is one other guy that has had sex with her. I can see a random confrontation with her ex and him shaking my hand and telling me in my ear that he has fucked her and put his dick in her mouth. To think my kids will be coming out of a place were another mans penis has entered. I know to most casual sex is normal sex but not everyone has the same views. Imagine if you were in my shoes. She regrets doing it with him but you can't change the past. How should I cope with this to keep our relationship. That was the last time she had sex btw.
 
ehBeth
 
  4  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 11:43 am
@coolone2,
If you value virginity so highly, you should find someone who meets your standards.

I think virginity is over-rated, so the whole V card thing doesn't mean anything positive to me. There's no bonus in having sex with a virgin. It's mostly just an annoyance.

__

Separately, you've only been dating for two months. If you're just going to **** her because you don't want to be a lonely 30 year old , don't do it.


Find a different woman, and yes, I mean woman, not girl.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 11:44 am
@coolone2,
this kind of thinking

coolone2 wrote:
does she deserve what I've held on to for so long when she gave into temptations.


makes me nauseous
coolone2
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 11:54 am
@ehBeth,
Thank you for your reply! I still have some growing up to do in terms of relationship experience but your post has helped me look at the bigger picture.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 12:03 pm
@coolone2,
I agree with ehBeth whole heartedly, but I can remember being young, with what I remember as the-nuns-in-my-strict-high-school's ideas. I got over all that fairly quickly after I started reading more widely, and then actually had sex. There is a reason people like it a lot.

Your sense of yourself as being a treasure for your purity is something I can understand from my mid teen past, but consider misguided. But if you keep to that belief, I think the belief would turn into a burden for your girlfriend.
coolone2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 12:07 pm
@ossobuco,
Thank you for your post!
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 12:18 pm
"To think my kids will be coming out of a place were another mans penis has entered"

To save your children from trauma, find a virgin woman and let this gal go.

Tes yeux noirs
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 12:31 pm
Quote:
I can see a random confrontation with her ex and him shaking my hand and telling me in my ear that he has fucked her and put his dick in her mouth.

Yuck. Your mind is a sewer. You need to end this relationship because that girl deserves someone more grown up than you are.
coolone2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 01:26 pm
@Tes yeux noirs,
Thanks for your post!
0 Replies
 
coolone2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 16 May, 2016 01:27 pm
@PUNKEY,
Thanks for the reply!
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  4  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 06:12 am
@coolone2,
She's never going to meet your exacting standards, and you're going to end up punishing her for what happened before you were an item.

You should let her find someone who can make her happy.
coolone2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 May, 2016 07:32 am
@izzythepush,
Thank you, I think I will do that its only right.
0 Replies
 
kumaramit
 
  0  
Reply Tue 27 Sep, 2016 03:32 am
@coolone2,
It's very common to boys and girls to be not a virgin these days , so you don't to worry about that if you love her then you must have not to be issue about the virginity otherwise search for a virgin .......
0 Replies
 
 

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