Ashamed of being a Virgin

Thu 10 Feb, 2022 01:56 am
Related to my last post but I'm a 23 year old man who's never had sex. Partly by choice, but mostly not. I've always had difficulty forming close relationships with women and my only girlfriend was both long distance and she was saving herself for marriage so we never did it. I don't resent her for that at all and dated her knowing that and accepting that, but it did make our breakup that little bit harder knowing I still had this particular weight on my back

I'm just surrounded by so many people who have had sex and know what it's like and it makes me feel very immature. Like a little boy who's missing out on this massive, important thing all the adults are doing. I don't want to rush it, even in the few times I could maybe have had sex on a one night stand I never went ahead with it cause it made me too uncomfortable. It has to be with the right person for me, personally. But it only makes me more desperate to find the right girl. I'm not trying to say I want a girlfriend to earn my sex badge or whatever, but I do feel tremendous shame and pressure from those around me and I don't know what to do
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bobsal u1553115
Thu 10 Feb, 2022 07:50 am
Set your standards low enough and you will never be disappointed.

A friend of mine told me once he was going to get married so he could get laid every night.

I told him he was in for a big surpise, and that being 'laid' every night was not such hard goal to realize if he set his standards low enough.

It strike me that you may well be tripping yourself up. Though you can claim never having had sex, "sex" seems to be a very large presence in your relationships. Taking the emphasis off sex: treating it like a result instead of the object of of your efforts may well resolve your "issue".

Your issue may well be whats keeping you from your goal.
Thu 10 Feb, 2022 12:14 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
Yeah, I think you're probably right. I definitely don't want to have sex with my future girlfriend every night hahaha but I am definitely putting a lot of weight on having that kind of connection.

Most of my friends who have had sex didn't have much, if any, before they met their partner. It just sorta came naturally. If I just take my mind of it the same should happen to me. Ig I just wanted reassurance it didn't matter to anyone else or at least no one that mattered.

Thanks for the advice!
bobsal u1553115
Thu 10 Feb, 2022 04:16 pm
Sometime letting things develop naturally will bring about a favored result. Pressure is not generally a good development for a sexual relationship.

You'll be alright, most folks do OK.
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david lyga
Fri 11 Feb, 2022 10:00 am
You are trying hard to be a damn fool. The people surrounding you whom you are attempting to impress are impressions of a parody. On the other hand, you are genuine.

Stay sexless as long as you feel comfortable doing so. Ignore the pressure and do condone your own way of reticence in the matter. Thus doing, I promise you that your penis will not become atrophied, but, rather, just might become a trophy. - David Lyga
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bobsal u1553115
Wed 16 Feb, 2022 10:34 am
It's not that uncommon these days to be voluntarily 'sexless', but some are at the max trying to be the builder of their own impotence - the sad aspect of being all ego and no gonads.

Work to being that person you want to be, remove the the roadblocks you may have self-set.

Life does get easier and better.
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Thu 17 Feb, 2022 04:51 pm
Your sex history is not a required feature to your future. Yes, it might be weird, but it should not
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Thu 3 Mar, 2022 02:06 pm
Try not to worry to much about it just put yourself out there get involved in the area were you live and be open and honest with people you meet. The harder you try the worse it may get so just take it slow and easy , the right lady will come along..
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