This is why so many Jews cluster only in certain urban areas. They prefer Gentiles that have had some interaction with Jewish people. The people in the hinterland tend to think of Jews as just getting off of the mother ship, in my opinion.
Let me ask you a direct question, then. Do you consider the word Jew to be offensive?
Well, if the person spits after saying it; yes.
If the person asks me, "Are you Jewww?"; yes.
If the person asks, "Are you a Jew?"; no; however, he need not practice on me as having a Jewish friend.
If the person asks, "Are you Jewish; no, and it is a perfectly acceptable question, based on the context of the conversation.
If the person asks, "Are you a Jewish person; no, but I think the person is bending over backwards to not be offensive, based on prior coaching from someone. I would be more open with this person that was not deferent, just caring not to offend.
All the above are just my opinions.