Ahh, me.
I fear this whole misunderstanding is the result of an innocent typo. farmerman meant to type'gay' but it came up 'goy.' Lola picked up on it as an opportunity for a touch of humour. That's all that her 'at least he wasn't a Jew' crack was all about. It was meant to be funny.
I can assure you, jc, that the Lola I know is not an anti-Semite. In fact, now that I think of it, that very notion is funny in itself.
Have a drink on me, everyone, and let's all be friends.