5
   

I'm a virgin and he isn't.

 
 
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:09 am
I'm nineteen and a virgin my boyfriend is twenty two and not a virgin. We get along great and he is respectful and sweet and really more than I could ask for. But we haven't discussed sex or past relationships much so he doesn't know I'm a virgin. I'm so embarrassed that I'm still a virgin but I really like him. Should I tell him I'm a virgin?
 
tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:21 am
@ToriMiss,
Don't let goofy pride get in the way. Honesty is still a great thing to have in a relationship unless you don't want to relationship to advance and you expect it to end soon.

How he reacts to your divulging of this news will mean a great deal when figuring out the level of the relationship. If he's fine with the news then all is good. If he overreacts negatively with the news then that's a fatal flaw on his account. Then perhaps you should end the relationship then and there.

You shouldn't be embarrassed about being a virgin at the age of 19. You're NOT that old. Neutral
ToriMiss
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:24 am
@tsarstepan,
Thank you so much for the advice
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:27 am
@ToriMiss,
Quote:
I'm a virgin. I'm so embarrassed that I'm still a virgin but I really like him. Should I tell him I'm a virgin?


Why the hell should you be embarrassed for not having sex yet at age 19?

Risking STDs, and more important risking your future and possible children futures if you would became pregnant at an early age.

Suggested you talked to him oovering such matters as birth control methods to be use and having him check for STDs and so on as well as the fact that you are a virgin at the moment.
PUNKEY
 
  4  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:32 am
It's too bad that our young women are "shamed" for being a virgin!

In this case, it comes from the woman herself.

I wonder where this comes from . . .
0 Replies
 
ToriMiss
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:33 am
@BillRM,
Because going in with no experience with a guy who has experience makes me nervous which then makes me embarrassed. I've been using birth control for the last three years so thats not an issue. And as far as him getting tested thats a smart idea but I wouldn't know how to approach him about that
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:41 am
@ToriMiss,
That's absolutely silly. And by experienced, you're suggesting we have to think he's the Lance Armstrong of sexually experienced persons? Did he win any gold medals for his past sexual encounters? Is he truly the Don Juans/the greatest lovers of our time? Could he turn professional and expect a 6 figure salary because of his deep worldly understanding of sex?

You're making a MOUNTAIN out of an anthill that's his sexual history. I doubt he's that much of an expert that his years (if he has years) of experience can/should make you deeply ashamed for not having any at this time.
ToriMiss
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:49 am
@tsarstepan,
I am not making it a huge deal. I never said he was any of what you compared I just know he has experience and I don't and in nearly everything else that I've done in my short life I knew how to do before most others whether it was in school or games or sports or traveling I knew what to do and how to do it so this is unfamiliar territory for me and it makes me very nervous I'm not used to be being the person who has to be taught.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:49 am
@ToriMiss,
You have a chooses going with a person who is a virgin himself and know no more then you do of the matter not I good idea at all in my opinion or a young man with at least some experience in the matter.

Second, if you do not feel like you can be open and honest with the young man then I would suggest waiting until you find someone that you can be that comfortable with to be your first sexual partner.

In any case being a virgin is not a shameful condition to be at.
ToriMiss
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 08:54 am
@BillRM,
I'm going to tell him because he is someone I want to be and tho he having experience does make me nervous I feel I would still be worried if I were dating someone with no experience and I know want to be with him he is really so good to me and we have so much fun. I really do appreciate your advice.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 06:11 pm
Please be a SMART virgin . . .
Hey girl - before you get into bed with ANYONE you need to have a discussion about that person's past sexual experiences. Here's the words: "Before our relationship goes to the next step, we need to talk about safety and prevention stuff. What are we going to do so we don't end up pregnant? Do you carry condoms or would you like me to get them? Have you ever been tested for STDs? Would you do that before we go the next step? Here's my Drs. report"

Remember: you are having sex with ALL his past partners when you have sex with him.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 06:15 pm
@ToriMiss,
ToriMiss wrote:
But we haven't discussed sex or past relationships much so he doesn't know I'm a virgin.


sounds like you've got quite a few conversations in front of you before you have sex. Talking is part of relationships.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2013 06:43 pm
@PUNKEY,
Quote:
Remember: you are having sex with ALL his past partners when you have sex with him.


Not completely true as to be true in the way you mean it, as the transmission rate for STDs would need to be a 100 percents for it to be true but I do agree that he should be tested and showed her the results.
0 Replies
 
StarDanceGirl
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 May, 2014 12:21 am
@BillRM,
I totally agree.
0 Replies
 
standardfirstdate
 
  0  
Reply Mon 12 May, 2014 08:35 am
@ToriMiss,
Tori,

You should be proud of what you are and what you have! in today's world people have not valued virginity as high as it should be, in some cases people are shunned by the "V" card. You should be proud and know that you have a priceless gift. One that I would recommend you save for someone worth giving to. If the one you are with is it, fantastic, if not don't worry about it. The value will continue to RISE no fall.
0 Replies
 
kumaramit
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 23 Sep, 2016 05:17 am
@ToriMiss,
It is not a problem if you are a virgin , talk to him about this matter definitely their be a solution and you are a virgin it will be a good news for him so don't be tensed talk to him .
0 Replies
 
 

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