kickycan wrote:Let's see if I can pollute this situation a little further.
I actually did this last year. My situation was a little different though in that it was a friend who had once been in love with me, and I couldn't return those feelings. We were roommates, and I loved being with her, but I just wasn't attracted to her.
Anyway, I moved out and we didn't talk for over four years, but last year I decided I really wanted to see if we could be friends again. I called her, and we ended up getting together again, and before you knew it we were having a great time again, just like the old times.
And then slowly, hanging out together got to be a little bit less fun, until finally it was just plain hostile, just like those other old times. The old times that I'd forgotten about. The bickering and the pointless arguing had begun!
We hung out for about eight months, and then suddenly we weren't talking anymore. I haven't talked to her since Valentine's day, ironically. But I'm glad I did it. It gave me a better understanding of why it could never have worked out for us. Plus, we did have a chance to relive the good old days, for a little while.
Y'know - I find that kind of strange.....
I have a 3 very, VERY dear male friends, who I totally was smitten with - but with whom it was inappropriate to form a relationship - or, in one case, who was not attracted to me in that way.
We were able to make it through all that - I would be devastated without them - but there is no trace of the original sexual/love stuff. All is uncomplicated friendship.
Come to think of it, none of the fellas who were smitten with me, and with whom I was not smitten, but liked as friends, are still in my life.
Odd - I am a vulnerable wuss - am I weird in being able to make flames into friends? It certainly isn't cool rationality at work, cos I don't have too much of that when I fall!!!!!
