Ah. Good luck. (I also clap at the kiss.)
Oh my god, you want to talk about pathetic? I was once so in love with a girl in college that after college ended and she dumped me I used to look at my mother's catalogues at sweaters and jewelry and think "That looks like something she'd like. I should buy that and send it to her. Just to surprise her." I would try to picture her happy face when she opened up the anonymous package at her door. Oh my god, now that is pathetic!
And a little creepy, if I do say so myself.
LOL
Man...where were you guys? I thought we were all on the creepy bandwagon...LOL too funny.
I did not use that word...but I made it clear if she was married and this made her uncomfortable that I was not there to press anything. This was a dear dear person to me. The reason I did not send anything right away was because I did not want to interrupt her life...when we parted I told her that my wish was that she would always be happy...it would have been a lie if I suddenly showed up and made her life miserable. Better she thinks about that now then later. Our relationship was always open...if it still can't be then...maybe its not worth doing. Besides what if she is married and her husband opens the mail...or if she has a kid...I think the 'do no harm first' is important. The thought of hurting someone just because I want to see how things are going...is not cool.
My hope to was to rekindle a communication path to, what was first, a dear friend. Anything beyond that is well, way down the path. Some one here mentioned about if we had a friendship besides a sexual relationship that its possible to rekindle that friendship part. Oddly enough as I get older...the friendship part of our relationship is what I miss most. [not that the other part was not good]
I put it at the end of the letter [which was a lot longer than I had orginally planned] after I wished her happy b-day...how creepy a guy can I be if I remember her birthday 20 some years later?
I don't worry so much the waiting...but will it get lost in spam...never opened...she is on vacation...whatever...oh well...the good news is its done. Deleted by accident. That part is not fun.
I feel strangely good. Writing the letter and remembering some things made me feel great. Frankly even if nothing happens...its done...time to let the ego let go...
April 20th... and I don't even remember my WIFE'S birthday. But that's probably because my wife doesn't share a birthday with Hitler.
I miss a lot of friendships from people I offended or just drifted away from in highschool. In fact, I really miss some of them.
I think I'll start a thread about pathetic things.
oh no! I have I become pathetic?
No, you didn't inspire the idea.
I think that would be a good thread. I've got a lot of pathetic material from that same girl. Man, I was such a lovesick dope for such a long time after that.
Oh kicky, it's SO good to hear a man say that! I thought only us women did stupid things like waiting for months for an e-mail and remembering birthdays 20 years later. Thank you so much! It's very endearing.
You addressed Kicky, then referred to MY comments. Am I not endearing? I thought I was kind of a likeable person.
{{{SMOOCHES}}} to SCoates, too!
Hey! I'm married. I didn't want smooches, just recognition... (insert grumpy face)
I'm married, too. Very happily. That was a smooch on the cheek, okay? No misunderstandings. Seriously, I'm very touched by the comments that you, kickycan and flyfish have posted.
wow..she wrote back already...so no need to wait...about a three page letter about whats been going on in her life. She is exactly as I remember and wants to meet. Really cool.
she ended it with "
Please, please, please write back my dear friend.
I cherished your friendship way back when and I am sure life has circled back around for some good reason." and then she wrote a poem which I will not share.
This is not a romantic thing folks...just old friends getting back together. She already has someone in her life she wants me to meet. She did answer some questions that I had always wondered about.
Anyway...this is one vote for doing this.
This has been a great day...and yes it was her birthday today...she thought it was a great gift.
I AM SO GLAD I DID THIS!
Good for you Flyfish! Montana, are you listening?
Thanks Bill...now that I can play moday morning quarterback on this I really should never have been concerned about getting in touch with her. She apolized for not using the internet to find me herself.
But in Montana's case I think it maybe a different issue. I think I polluted the conversation with my own issue.
Polluted? Nah. Every situation will be unique, of course.
Glad things worked out so well for you!
thank you...I am still in shock...she has since sent along her address and phone number so we can meet. Its to the point of why the heck did I ever wait this long?
I think the thing is if your true to yourself and what you want to say...and its not a mixed message [like including the part about not wanting to be creepy]...then even if it does not work out...well then its over and time to move on...I really should have realized that. Tough to be old and silly.
Let's see if I can pollute this situation a little further.
I actually did this last year. My situation was a little different though in that it was a friend who had once been in love with me, and I couldn't return those feelings. We were roommates, and I loved being with her, but I just wasn't attracted to her.
Anyway, I moved out and we didn't talk for over four years, but last year I decided I really wanted to see if we could be friends again. I called her, and we ended up getting together again, and before you knew it we were having a great time again, just like the old times.
And then slowly, hanging out together got to be a little bit less fun, until finally it was just plain hostile, just like those other old times. The old times that I'd forgotten about. The bickering and the pointless arguing had begun!
We hung out for about eight months, and then suddenly we weren't talking anymore. I haven't talked to her since Valentine's day, ironically. But I'm glad I did it. It gave me a better understanding of why it could never have worked out for us. Plus, we did have a chance to relive the good old days, for a little while.
I feel ya kicky. I typically remain friends with girls I've dated. The only exceptions are those that fall head over heals in love with me. Not that I wouldn't with them too, but I guess that can be pretty tough on a woman. I'm bad at keeping in touch myself though. I've probably been asked if my fingers were broken more times than I've actually initiated a call. I usually only make calls when I'm feeling lonely. When that happens; I'll behave like a telemarketer calling all of the girls whose company I'd enjoy, roughly in reverse chronological order until I score a date. I find typically old girlfriends are happy to hear from me, sometimes very happy and occasionally offended by the time I allowed to pass. In the last instance; Sozobe is right about me; I simply move on to the next number.
That's not to mean I don't have any feelings Sozobe. Why, the only poem I've ever written was to an ex-girlfriend, 6 months after we had split up. I bumped into it recently when I recovered the files from my hard-drive after my OS crashed. LOL. It wasn't very good, but it was long and it rhymed! I was pretty pathetic. At the end of the day, I always prefer to try. Win, lose or draw.
