Cut your hair, ya damn hippie!

Forums: Parenting, Piercing, Stubborness, Family Politics, Hair Length
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In the 1970s when I was in high school parents and children warred over hair length. Some of the cleanest cut kids were the biggest stoners, troublemakers, rebels I knew.

Now Mr. B and Mo are at war over Mo wanting to get his ear pierced. Mr. B is dead set against it. Dead set.

I don't get it but because I think it's important for parents to stick together I've told Mo no too. Privately I've intervened in Mo's behalf. I don't think it's a big deal for a kid to have a pierced ear... he'll get bored with it and won't even seem to matter.... chances are he'd let the thing heal up and the whole thing would be over with.

This battle between the two has gone on for year but has recently hit new heights. I worry that when Mo hits 18 he'll come home with his face pierced a hundred places -- or worse.

To be honest, I cannot understand why Mr. B is so stubborn about this. He can't even explain it to me and I'm patient and willing to listen. He just thinks it's "wrong" and that isn't like him.

Can anyone explain?

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Type: Question • Score: 32 • Views: 16,557 • Replies: 234

@boomerang,

Quote:

Can anyone explain?

I wish I could, boomerang, but I'd have to know Mr B to have a proper shot at that.

I suspect that it's something that Mr B associates with piercings. Not at all "good" associations, for him to be so stubborn about this.

I pretty much agree with your attitude. It makes it very difficult for you to to present a united front with Mr B, though, when you see things so differently to him. And it sounds like Mo is not taking this at all well. I don't envy you, you must feel like the meat in the sandwich.

Good luck!

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@boomerang,

Maybe he feels if he gives an inch (the ear), Mo'll take a mile (the rest of his body). Or maybe he thinks pierced ears is a girl thing. Hard to say. Maybe he's worried Mo's desire to have a pierced ear is really about or will lead to other things. He also might not be able to 'connect' with Mo with a pierced ear, making the generation gap even wider.

Anything resonate? How old is Mo now?

1 Reply

@msolga,

I was just wondering, boomerang ....
Did any of Mo's "biological family" (like his "father"?) have piercings or tattoos ...?
If so, do you think that could have something to do with Mr B's attitude?

1 Reply

Maybe he considers it an entry step to decadence and being less successful in life.

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@msolga,

I can't really "talk" now because everyone is in the computer room....

It is so unlike Mr. B to be so inflexible. It's strange. I think he said "No" and now he feels backed into a corner so he has to continue to say "No".

Mo has had blue hair, green hair, a mohawk. I don't get this strange hesitation towards ear piercing.

It is very difficult for me and Mo isn't taking this well.

I'm completely confused.

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@Mame,

I fear that NOT letting him do it will lead to other things. People go to extreme lengths to modify their bodies and nobody seems to know why.

I did tell Mr. B tonight that when Mo shows up on his 18th birthday with several .... alterations... that he (Mr. B) is not allowed to even bat an eye.

Mo will be 11 in January.

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@msolga,

No. They didn't. His mom had pierced ears and I think one eyebrow piercing. His dad didn't have any modifications that I know of.

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@edgarblythe,

Maybe. If so, why won't he say so though?

I think that would be a pretty crazy point of view and Mr. B is usually so rational and easy going.

I'm baffled.

3 Replies

@boomerang,

has he been abducted by aliens recently...?

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@boomerang,

Sometimes one's fears remain undefined at least early on. Perhaps he has not yet been able to pin it down for himself.

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@Rockhead,

That's as good an explanation as any, I'm sad to say.

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@boomerang,

Quote:

....why won't he say so though?

I think that would be a pretty crazy point of view and Mr. B is usually so rational and easy going.

I'm baffled.

My hunch, without knowing Mr B at all (obviously) is that he could have fears for Mo (possibly "going off the rails") that he has kept to himself. Perhaps save you worrying?
Of course, I may be completely wrong on this.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

if he's been probed, he will be kinda sensitive about it...

seriously, though. after I got the boot the first time, I pierced my ear.

that was one of the things that woulda had to be undone prior to moving back to that house. (I chose not to)

1 Reply

@edgarblythe,

Can you give me any tips on how to help him pin it down?

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@msolga,

I confess that things have been completely crazy and off the rails lately but I don't really get where this fits in. This argument, if anything, is making things worse.

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@Rockhead,

Do you have any idea what it was about ear piercing that made your parents so mad?

I'm guessing that the piercing wasn't he issue but that your defiance was....

Why in the hell would a parent put an earring over their child? I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it.

1 Reply

This will sound like I've from the strait of never, but Mo has had blue and green hair? No wonder he's confused with a new NO and his father is digging in, maybe to father, father thinks he's on the late side of issues.

Re adults and tattoos and piercing, I'm not sure what I think - I think some people are off their rockers but I like a neighbor who was whole body tattooed - but I'm not all that comfortable with a ten year old -almost eleven going for a piercing as the latest thing.

The idea that forbidding Mo to do this will result in him multiplying piercings - that's a freight train of fear right there. That depends on how it is dealt with.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

One of the things I tried to emphasize with my sister when she was really having troubles with my niecey, was about drawing lines in the sand.

picking the spots where it was appropriate, and avoiding unnecessary ones.

this sounds like one that could be made into a discussion instead and maybe setting a timetable toward a piercing date in the future...

1 Reply

@boomerang,

OK.
I was probably clutching at straws, trying to figure this out, boomerang. Smile

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Cut your hair, ya damn hippie!

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