Cut your hair, ya damn hippie!

@Linkat,

Quote:

My opinion is if one parent feels really strongly about something for whatever reason, then you should respect that especially if you really do not

That's why I'm saying that Mr. B gets to decide and sticking up for him with Mo. I don't really care. I'm just trying to understand why someone would really care.

Lots of kids much younger than Mo are competent to adequately care for ear piercings.

I really feel like next time football season rolled around Mo would take the ear ring out on his own accord. Those helmets fit pretty tight. Though several of the kids on his team do have pierced ears.

2 Replies

@boomerang,

Some may be able to - but I'd rather wait - I think it should be made by a child that is a bit more mature. But that's my opinion - my SIL had her kids' ears pierced while they were in hospital right after being born.

Everyone's different - but I think putting some parameters around it (age, behavior, whatever seems reasonable), may make Mr. B more accomdating (maybe depending on strongely he feels) - and also Mo more accepting.

And "I'm just trying to understand why someone would really care."

Like I said - he may not really know - if could simply be a feeling. If you think really hard, there may be something you can't explain why - but just feel that way.

0 Replies

@boomerang,

I'm going to venture a different guess. I think Mr. B has always associated men with piercings as thugs and that is not how he wants his son perceived. While piercings are a lot more common now, during Mr. B's formative years piercings were rare and not associated with the crowd he probably wants his son to run in. We don't have another data point to compare, but if you had a daughter, my bet is it wouldn't be an issue because basic ear piercing for girls has been very socially acceptable for a long time. (Although I remember my mother-in-law getting her ears pierced. She was over 50.) You can point out that piercings are common today but it really doesn't matter. At a very basic level (IMO), Mr. B sees kids with piercings and thinks "punk" and doesn't want others to look at his son and think that. Worse, he doesn't want to think that himself.

1 Reply

Add me to the short list of fuddy duddies who are not comfortable with an 11 year old having an ear pierced?

How old was your son when he got a mohawk and colored his hair?

A lot of kids seem to enjoy taking the next step.

Mohawks and blue hair at 7, pierced ear at 11...how is he going to want to distinquish himself when he reaches his early teens and self-image becomes even more important?

A pierced ear is not such a big deal, but tattos and some of the body piercing young people engage in are. If you create a hole in your lobe big enough to accomodate a plug, it won't simply grow back when you decide you want to change your look.

http://blog.bodyhazard.co.uk/images/customer1.jpg

Your husband may simply feel your son is too young for such extravagance.
That's a simple enough and legitimate answer.

I have a feeling your son is going to end up with a piercing before he leaves your house so I doubt there's much chance that he'll rebel at 18 and come back looking like this guy, but he could start down the path if you begin it at age 11.

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQz8ByOggXQVjm8x7UotdtAugXlJxz61LTd55GtR7Zk5_ZoeQpvSYdf9ZzGCA

2 Replies

@Finn dAbuzz,

ZOMG! Ear piercing is the gateway to becoming a circus geek!

Because you know, all freaks started out with just one piercing.

1 Reply

@Finn dAbuzz,

Or oh my god he could end up like this!!!!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s_9RsJ8qcMQ/SorvUORJiHI/AAAAAAAAABk/79ycFxT5b70/s320/beckham2.jpg

Maybe Portland is different. Mohawks are very popular on young boys here, as is temporary hair dye.

Actually, Mo's old drum teacher looked like a slightly toned down version of the photo you posted and he was absolutely one of the nicest people I ever met.

I don't judge books by covers and I didn't marry a man that shallow, either.

1 Reply

@Roberta,

You are not the only one to say no.
My daughter wanted pierced ears when 10 or 11. I said NO, come back when you are 14 or 15.
It worked out very well. Then she had time to think it over and choose another style of earrings than she would have done with 10.

She tried both red and green strings in her hair. Did not object as that could be washed out from one day to the other.

Now she is grown up and has very discreetly pierced ears and her natural hair colour.

0 Replies

@engineer,

Mr. B is a little younger than me and I knew plenty of people who had pierced ears. It really first became popular in the 80s when we were both in college. Since then it's only become more common.

Not only do many of Mo's friends have piercings, almost all of their dads do too. One of Mr. B's business partners has a pierced ear. Our good friend and neighbor who is a wildly successful patent attorney has one. I don't think he associates them with punks or thugs.

I think he would have an issue with a daughter but I'm not sure so I'm going to ask him when he comes home tonight.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

The piercing battle started when Mo was about 7!
He's dropped it for long stretches but it has recently heated up again.

I still get mad when people won't give me reasons for their decisions.
"Because I said so" never ever worked for me!

Has Mo indicated the reason that he desires it ?

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@Rockhead,

Rockhead wrote:

I think anyone getting their first tattoo should have to visit
an old folks home, and see what they look like after fifty or sixty years.
then they can get whatever they want.

it might save some really bad ink...

I think that is a very FINE idea,
except regarding the "have to" part, because he is the authority
and no one has authority to impose what he HAS to do.

David

0 Replies

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

I think he would have an issue with a daughter but I'm not sure so I'm going to ask him when he comes home tonight.

Then maybe that will help him clarify his thoughts. Either way he answers should be enlightening.

0 Replies

How about a compromise for dad and son? Try these magnetic stud earrings that are all the rage for unpierced ears.

http://www.amazon.com/Rainas-Magnetic-Earrings-Studs-Black/dp/B0040ZI7L0/ref=pd_bxgy_jw_img_b

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/318BCrroGtL._SS400_.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51IEWTaN2%2BL._SS400_.jpg

Making the suggestion might help narrow down his reasons for "no" to something other than the physical piercing and help bring forth the objections to the symbolic nature of it.

It will also help Mo find out if it is really something he wants before he does it permanently.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

Quote:

I still get mad when people won't give me reasons for their decisions. "Because I said so" never ever worked for me!

It doesn't do much for me, either, boomerang. Wink

Say nothing of you & Mo ......

If you & MR B are going present a united front on any decision to do with Mo then you absolutely need to know the reasons for his thinking. Say nothing of have a say in any joint decision. I absolutely agree.
I understand your frustration (verging on exasperation?). All these years of supporting Mr B's position on this, while not knowing his reasons why, is a bit much, really.

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I 'm really GLAD that I am not a parent.
I 'd feel ashamed n guilty to say no
to someone about what he can do
in regard to his OWN body.

This has happened to me inasmuch as I
was requested by parents to watch kids
while thay were working, and also
pleaded by the kids themselves to do so.

I was very, very slow to say no to their conduct
and I felt ashamed of myself in so doing.
(It offended my libertarianism.)

However, I was reprimanded by one of
the kids for my failure to do so.
His exact words were: "You're the adult!!!"

David

0 Replies

@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

ZOMG! Ear piercing is the gateway to becoming a circus geek!

Because you know, all freaks started out with just one piercing.

Nice leap, but too bad it's well off the mark.

1 Reply

@Finn dAbuzz,

What, that you were fear mongering?

Finn dAbuzz wrote:

he could start down the path if you begin it at age 11.

Please tell me again with a straight face.

1 Reply

@Sturgis,

Quote:

I have no idea what Mr. B's objections are, assuming he's able to articulate them.

But I think I'm the only one here who doesn't take a casual view of a piercing. If I were the parent (good thing I'm not), I'd say no.

Sturgis wrote:

Similar to you. No idea what the Mister is objecting to, it could be any number of things, if he isn't opening up
and speaking we have no idea.

Moving to part 2, we are clearly made for each other. I don't view piercing casually either and I'm not a parent...for which many are grateful, including myself. I too would say no. Then again, I wouldn't have let the child get his hair colored either. I believe piercings and hair coloring should be saved until at least the teens and preferably until they are of legal age.

ALL ages are LEGAL, Sturgis.

To a person with some self-respect,
the authoritarianism that u display in your post
(unAmerican, maybe??) woud sound like a challenge to FIGHT

or to leave. A person 's home shoud not feel like a TRAP, nor a jail.

( Note that, in my opinion, self-mutilation is a bad idea.)

My thawts go to a TV show that I 've seen: American Chopper
about a family of motorcycle makers.

Senior is heavily tatooed. Junior is a 1OO% perfect replica of Senior (at his age).

Part of Junior 's rebellion is his adamant refusal to have any tatoos.
" I don 't write on myself " he says.

David

0 Replies

@boomerang,

That's not what I would call a mohawk

This is:

http://mens-haircuts.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/135580-main_Full.jpg

So maybe we're not talking about the same hair cut.

Who is judging the heavily transformed fellow in the picture I previously posted?

Everyone who sees him - except for you and (according to you) your husband of course.

The guy may very well be the nicest person on the planet, but he will be perceived by 99% of his fellow humans as, at the very least, very odd, and since he has spent a lot of time and pain creating his book's cover, I think it's fair to judge him by it. I even suspect he wants us to. If he can be considered "deformed," it's because he, not nature or accident, deformed himself.

I'm 10 years older than your husband and had long hair and a pierced ear in HS, and by the time I was 20 by hair was almost to my waist, and I often would wear it in a braid or braids (before Willie Nelson).

My folks hated it, but gave in to my requests when I was 16. Somehow I managed to have a social life up until then though.

I like the way it looked but just like every other kid who looked like me it was intended as self-expression and I wanted people to judge me based on how I looked.

Anybody that deliberately fashions their appearence to be extreme or outlandish is sending a message, and that's perfectly fine as long as they can change their appearence when they want to change their message, or they remain content with sending the same message for the rest of their lives.

I've already indicated that my bet is that you're son will get his piercing before he leaves the house and won't end up looking like the guy in the photo, but you've asked for opinions on why your husband doesn't want to give in to your son, and I gave you mine as to what his reason maybe.

Perhaps your husband better understands progression than do you or maybe he's just more afraid of it.

Perhaps next time you should tell us what opinions you don't want to hear before you ask for them.

0 Replies

@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

What, that you were fear mongering?

Finn dAbuzz wrote:
he could start down the path if you begin it at age 11.

Please tell me again with a straight face.

I wrote:

I have a feeling your son is going to end up with a piercing before he leaves your house so I doubt there's much chance that he'll rebel at 18 and come back looking like this guy, but he could start down the path if you begin it at age 11.

Cut your hair, ya damn hippie!

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