Reply
Tue 22 Jun, 2010 03:45 pm
Hi,
Does anybody here think that telling your children lies is ok?
Are you concerned as to whether they, when older, will continue the cycle or, do you expect that?
How do you think a child feels when you, on one hand, tell them you love them and, on the other, tell them that there is a rather rotund fella that travels through the sky, once a year, on a reindeer-driven sleigh with gifts for them - Then reveal to them, when they grow a little, that you are a bare-faced liar (About the santa thing)?
Do you not think they will subliminally question everything you tell them or have told them, or what those not as respected by them as much as you, their parent, tell them from this point onwards?
Do you think the Santa clause is, in-part responsible for a portion of the inherency of mistrust and doubt that shrouds the western world today?
Thank you, and it'll be great hearing your replies. (No end of thread revelations to be divulged, by the way).
Best wishes all.
Mark...
@mark noble,
Quote:Do you not think they will subliminally question everything you tell them or have told them
Well, was that your experience? Were you told about Santa Clause, and if so, did it prompt a reaction to your parents such as you describe above? For my part, I was told about Santa Clause and I did not wind up subliminally questioning everything they told me or have told me from that point onward.
@mark noble,
Well my older daughter did not react in any way as you described. And I don't remember this causing any sort of grief or distrust of my parents as a result.
I think children are perceptive enough to understand the difference between talking about a loveable fantasy creature like Santa and bold faced cruel lie that generates distrust.
@Shapeless,
Hi Shapeless,
Not at all, my parents never told me any lies to begin with.
Are you saying you trust everything, everyone tells you?
How do you know what you do subliminally, anyway! It's sibliminal isn't it?
Thank you for replying. Have an excellent day.
Mark...
@Linkat,
Hi Linkat,
A lie is a lie, regardless as to how you disguise it.
Keyword to remember here "SUBLIMINAL" (That's for all posters, by the way)
Thank you Linkat, best wishes.
mark...
@mark noble,
Some would say that I lied to her - that we all did. That we need to always be 100% truthful with our children - there is no Santa, no tooth fairy, no easter bunny. That there are no surprises if they involve anything less than 100% truthful answers to questions.
I disagree.
Surprises are fun. For all of us. Santa has a place in childhood. My children don't trust me less because at Christmas I lead them to believe one thing - and then give them something better. What they trust is that what I give them I do so out of my love for them & a desire to see them smile - to delight them - to have them love the unexpected.
@Linkat,
And my older daughter on Christmas eve "pretended" she believed in Santa Claus - just for the fun of it.
Sounds like she is scarred for life.
@mark noble,
Quote:Are you saying you trust everything, everyone tells you?
Of course not. Where did you get that idea? Are those the only two options you're considering--either complete distrust of everything my parents told me, or blind trust of everything everyone tells me? In true philosophical fashion, there's a whole lot of middle ground you're not taking into account.
Quote:How do you know what you do subliminally, anyway! It's sibliminal isn't it?
If you're willing to consider this possibility, then no one will be able to answer "no" to your question, which means the whole thought experiment becomes a tautology.
@Shapeless,
Hi Shapless,
Might I just re-submit this before the intricacies begin to run away with themselves.
Do you think the Santa clause is,
in-part responsible for a
portion of the inherency of mistrust and doubt that shrouds the western world today?
Thank you once again, Shapeless.
Best wishes.
Mark...
@mark noble,
In my opinion, no. It's just too trivial a thing to cite for something as elaborately catastrophic as the "inherency of mistrust and doubt that shrouds the western world."
@mark noble,
Did you read only non-fiction when you were a child?
@Shapeless,
Hi Shapeless,
OP apart - Do you think lies are portionably responsible for the mistrust (just lies)?
Best wishes.
Mark...
@mark noble,
I believe it is a good thing to tell such lies because it prepares a child to question what they here from anyone. It also let's them determine what is "real" and what is not. Furthermore, it brings out imagination and play, which is vital to the child's mental health. On a personal note, when my parent's told me about Santa Claus they may have gone a bit too far. My dad drew hoof prints on our roof and took my brother and I onto the roof to show us. Then he took us to see some reindeer with their giant antlers. The night of Christmas Eve my poor parents spent listening to my screams of "the reindeer are coming! they have horns!" I was four. Thereafter I figured out it was all a lie.
My point is that mistrust is a survival mechanism. Why not learn it when you are young?
@mark noble,
Quote:Do you think lies are portionably responsible for the mistrust (just lies)?
In my opinion, some lies are and some lies are not. Lies of substantive consequence, sure. Trivial lies, no.
(Though I'm not sure what you mean by "the" mistrust. Which mistrust?)
@sozobe,
HAAAA haa haa haa
I was gonna write some snotty post about how magical a chiles life is for a brief period of time. When we were kids our imaginations ruled our intellect. I think I grew up doing what I wanted because I was always living in space or hunting for giant dinosaurs. Santa Claus made a place in my heart for a brief time and much later I actually understood why my parents engaged in this "foolishness'
Soz and her husband have PhD's and Ill bet they too had little Santa pagents with their kids.
I used to carry a whip like Roy Chapman ANdrews (Who was the original type-genus for Indiana Jones). Didnt we all play in our mids and create worlds that we later knew were silly.
Im glad my own kids had a chance to exercise their own creativity from an early age and if Sqanta Clause played even a small part, he was worth the trouble.
@Shapeless,
Hi Shapeless,
The Thread "mistrust" - Saves typing " inherency of............." all the time.
So do you believe that one lie can outweigh another? I ask this because in religious circles "ANY LIE" is sin - All sin is equal and damns the perpetrator (if unrepented) to an eternity in hell.
Thank you Shapeless,
Mark...
@A Lyn Fei,
Hi A Lyn,
I agree. Thank you for answering the question.
xxx
Mark...
@mark noble,
Hi Mark, I have wondered how I would deal with this if I had children as I observe family members around the holidays. I figure I will ultimately be pressured in to it by my more traditional wife, god bless 'er.
I think if you consider santa as a propagandistic creation with the intent to manipulate children, if only for a few weeks, he's got plenty of company. Like Popeye and his ever strengthening spinach, it does seem a bit insulting looking back - though we were all once only nescient children with generaly well meaning and at times desperate parents. Perhaps those who are more frequently 'influenced' in such ways are more proned to mistrusting authority?
@thack45,
you people are actually serious arent you?
Im gettin creeped out here/
We are being invaded by the BORG.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace