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I have a wife and girlfriend... How did this happen? HELP!

 
 
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 12:48 pm
Just over 2 years ago, me and my wife of 20 years went through some hard times. She cheated on me and then I cheated on her. I thought I fell in love with the other woman and moved in for about a year with the other her. After that year, I found out that I probably wasn't in love with the "other woman" and left her and got back with my wife. Well, the now "ex-girlfriend" started out claiming to want "just sex" and for the past year we have been meeting secretly behind my wife's back. This girlfriend has threatened to blow the whistle but for some reason I have kept her from doing it by promising that we may get back together. I am in a very tight spot and have a very tough time being mean to women because I hate to hurt someone's feelings. I don't know what to do. I even saw a shrink. The Shrink just tried to make me make a decision and I can't for some reason. The girlfriend is the sweetest person in the world but can turn on you in an instant, but she never means what she says. The wife on the other hand is sweet all the time, but just has a slight bad temper. They are both beautiful but exact opposites in the looks department. They are both built very well, but I'm not shallow anyways, so that doesn't play into this. There was a time when I thought I loved them both, but now I can't see the horizon for the clouds!! HELP!!! Any suggestions would be great!
 
Rockhead
 
  3  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 12:57 pm
@fenderpeavey,
introduce them to each other, and let them decide who gets to keep you...
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:00 pm
@Rockhead,
I guess I left out that they do know each other, but hate each others guts. I told one to call the other and they did. I thought that would work and all it did was make me lie more to both of them. They have run into each other in the mall, but won't speak.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:01 pm
@Rockhead,
or who gets stuck with him.
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:03 pm
@fenderpeavey,
then I suggest a cage match.

winner take all...

there will probably be a life lesson in this somewhere, chum.
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:04 pm
@Mame,
I know Mame. I get it that I am a total dirtbag. But I didn't join this forum for a joke. I really need advice on how to get rid of the girlfriend without hurting her too bad or her planting meth in my car. Or shooting me. Even though I probably deserve it.
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:07 pm
@Rockhead,
I don't think a cage match will work, but I am looking for some suggestions. I do need to get rid of the girlfriend, but cage matches and getting them to run into each other will not work.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:08 pm
@fenderpeavey,
I'm guessing that at this point in the game, honesty is out of the question?
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:13 pm
@fenderpeavey,
fenderpeavey wrote:

I know Mame. I get it that I am a total dirtbag. But I didn't join this forum for a joke. I really need advice on how to get rid of the girlfriend without hurting her too bad or her planting meth in my car. Or shooting me. Even though I probably deserve it.
Jesus, you are tough on yourself.
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:13 pm
@Rockhead,
I tried honesty when I first got back with the wife. Told the Girlfriend and then she used sex to get it started back up. I should have ended it right then. But urges got me in trouble. You can't just have a sexual relationship with a woman. It doesn't work apparently.
JPB
 
  4  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:14 pm
@fenderpeavey,
Tell them both that you need to take a break to get your **** together and then do it. Move out. Take however long it takes to decide if you are in love with either of these women or if you're just a schmuck who likes to have his cake and eat it too.
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:15 pm
@fenderpeavey,
not when you are married to a different one, no.

that rarely works the way it starts out to...

buck up and tell the truth, bear the scars, and quit taking a dump in your own back yard.

good luck...
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:16 pm
@hawkeye10,
Well, I feel like a total dirtbag because I have become the biggest liar in the world. I am so way passed the idea to where I think it is cool to be sleeping with two women. It was kind of erotic at first, but that goes away.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:17 pm
@fenderpeavey,
don't mind hawkeyes, he's a bigger dirtbag than you...
hawkeye10
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:19 pm
What I would do is come clean with the wife, with lots of contrition, and if she does not throw you out dump the GF with as much sweetness as you can muster. Hopefully the GF will not plant meth in your car, but because you think she might you would need to get your head examined again if you were to want to stay with her. Sex is not worth spending time with a woman that you cant trust...lots of fish in the sea and all.
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:19 pm
@Rockhead,
Tell which one? both? Honestly, I think that if I do, the wife still won't want me to leave and the Girlfriend will still want to see me.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:21 pm
@fenderpeavey,
then all you have left is a psycho ex-girlfriend problem.

that's easier to deal with, as long as the wife supports you in getting past it...
0 Replies
 
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:22 pm
@hawkeye10,
This scenario has already played out. The wife did not dump me, she latched on harder. The Girlfriend even went into hiding for about a month. Then came the text, "What if I just use you for sex?" Which was BS and I even kind of knew it at the time. But then you start thinking with the smaller head and you are back in trouble.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:24 pm
@fenderpeavey,
fenderpeavey wrote:

This scenario has already played out. The wife did not dump me, she latched on harder. The Girlfriend even went into hiding for about a month. Then came the text, "What if I just use you for sex?" Which was BS and I even kind of knew it at the time. But then you start thinking with the smaller head and you are back in trouble.
Sorry, I dont see what the problem is. The solution is obvious, dump the girlfriend in the nicest way possible, and if you choose to get a better one down the road, hopefully one that the wife does not hate, and hopefully with wifes approval.
fenderpeavey
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2011 01:29 pm
@Rockhead,
No way he is a bigger dirtbag. I have done some stuff I can't post on this forum.
 

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