Is dating someone who's a different race okay?

Hi, Gracie. I have your wing. Or I try.

Alls I'm trying to convince you of is that divorce rates aren't nearly as high as most people think. Pretty darn low, actually, and getting lower.

Once that point is made, you're on your own. I don't care at all if you get married or not... whatever works best for you.

Look my friend it have to do with giving children the best possible chance to grow up in a stable long term family setting and that by the numbers/statistic that you had already stated you do not care about mean inside of a marriage.

Also it tend to be helpful that the two parents to be had make both a public and legal commitment to each other to form such a family unit before the first child arrived on the scene.

When you bring children into the world you are granting hostages to fate even under the best of conditions and having children out of wedlock is hardly the best of conditions.

Let but it another way having children outside of a stable marriage is similar to playing Russian roulette with three bullets in the revolver instead of one however if the gun does go off it will be hitting your children not you.

Thanks ossobucco!

And thanks sozobe!

You guys are great!

K.

You too? it's ossobuco, not bucco... Most people on a2k misspell my username.
Sometimes that amazes me, how many people can't see. Maybe they are all trying to correct me.

My name represents an italian recipe in italian, not german or english.
I'll try to work up an italian swearword.

I am not italian, my heritage is irish, am american. I'm interested in a lot of places.

While I have your wing, I can still be crabby.

Haha! Sorry. I was typing fast and I wasn't paying attention.




Recipes like that? Looks pretty good!

Your assumptions are not entirely correct, Gracie. Bob and Diane are good examples of this and talked about it often here. Each of them at one time or another had to be hospitalized. They had a great deal of difficulty with hospital rules and privacy policies. Bob wasn't always allowed to visit Diane's room in intensive care because they weren't legally married. They've also had unnecessary legal expense with property titles, wills, medical directives, etc.; benefits that automatically come to those with a marriage certificate.

Here are some of the more than 1000 benefits given to legally married couples that are not given to unmarried couples. Most of these are also not automatically given to couples in a civil union, although that is slowly changing in some states.

On the federal level:

Access to Military Stores
Assumption of Spouse’s Pension
Bereavement Leave
Immigration
Insurance Breaks
Medical Decisions on Behalf of Partner
Sick Leave to Care for Partner
Social Security Survivor Benefits
Sick Leave to Care for Partner
Tax Breaks
Veteran’s Discounts
Visitation of Partner in Hospital or Prison

Here are a few of the state level benefits within the United States:

Assumption of Spouse’s Pension
Automatic Inheritance
Automatic Housing Lease Transfer
Bereavement Leave
Burial Determination
Child Custody
Crime Victim’s Recovery Benefits
Divorce Protections
Domestic Violence Protection
Exemption from Property Tax on Partner’s Death
Immunity from Testifying Against Spouse
Insurance Breaks
Joint Adoption and Foster Care
Joint Bankruptcy
Joint Parenting (Insurance Coverage, School Records)
Medical Decisions on Behalf of Partner
Certain Property Rights
Reduced Rate Memberships
Sick Leave to Care for Partner
Visitation of Partner’s Children
Visitation of Partner in Hospital or Prison
Wrongful Death (Loss of Consort) Benefits



You can read the full list of 1,049 items here to see if being an unmarried couple is as great as you think it might be:

http://www.gao.gov/archive/1997/og97016.pdf

I'm sorry the people in your life have given you such a bleak view of marriage, Gracie. Your view is not uncommon, but to me, it's really sad.

Many people have long-term happy marriages. As for me, I got married at 19, then divorced at 24. I got married again at 28, and we've been happily married for 28 years so far. I hope we'll be married for the rest of our lives.

I don't think my first marriage failed because of any problem with marriage itself. I just picked the wrong person. That often happens when people marry young, before they've had a chance to experience a lot of different relationships. It's probably wise that you don't want to get married at this point. But you may change your mind. Someday you may meet someone you know you want to spend the rest of your life with. You may want them to be part of your family, and you, part of theirs. You may decide to make a 100% commitment to each other. It could happen. Don't rule out any possibilities. Most of us who are older than you have learned the hard way: Never say never.

Yeah okay. That's a good point. What's a civil union? Is that like being a couple for a long time but not getting married?

Yes, with a little more privileges. In some states, you get some of the benefits or even all the legal benefits of marital couple. Let's say the authorities will recognize a 'legal couple has been together a timeframe such as 5 or 7 yrs.

It had a bad end.

28 years?! Oh gosh.

But Eva, you could be happy and love some one for the rest of your life without getting married. Did getting married make you love him more than when you were just boyfriend and girlfriend? I just don't see why everyone thinks marriage is soo important. Why would I wanna be stuck with one person for the rest of my life? How do you even know if you marry the right person? What if the person changes? it would just be easier to not get married, I think. Why is that sad?

Never say never. You're right. I could end up married in the future....or not. LoL

So, I should marry just for benefits?




Just kidding. Im in a goofy mood. I know what you mean. Im getting tired of talking about married people though. I cant get married for atleast another 5 years anyway. LoL

People always change.

All of us.
What if your spoused changed into someone you liked even more?

At this point in my life I'm neither for or against it, as far as what someone else chooses to do as far as marriage.

It was really stupid.

One second Romeo's in love with Rosalie and he's all depressed and stuff and then the next second he's head over heels for Juliet? Not to mention their love affair lasted all of 3 days. Talk about unrealistic. Would you marry someone and kill yourself for someone after only knowing them for 3 days? Heck no! I hated the whole story. I had to read it last year. This year we're reading Julius Caesar and I LOVE it!

Great! So that means you get what Im saying too even though you dont agree?

Nope. I don't propose that for you or anyone. I'm just commenting.

Yeah I know. You're right.