36
   

Is dating someone who's a different race okay?

 
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 02:33 pm
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
Black guys aren't supposed to be anything. Thats like saying all blondes are suppose to be idiots. That sounds stupid


Sorry but there is such a thing as black culture and blacks support that concept of a separate black culture even more then most whites. Oh black culture have nothing inherently to do with skin color but skin color and race in the US is a marker for whether a person is likely to share US black culture or not.

Now it is my friend opinion from being around black culture for decades and being married to a black gentleman that this culture promote young men to be players to a far greater extend then the mainspring culture does and unless you give us reasons to think you are more of an expert then my friend I will grant her opinion far more weight then your.

Yes no one can say anything about any one man or one woman that belong or grow up in a culture because of cultural norms however the probability is that a member of a culture is going to follow the norms of that culture far more likely then not.

Looking at such hard numbers as the out of wedlock birth rate in the US of the black community give added weight to her opinion that being a solid family man is not as well through of by the majority of young black men then young men who belong to other cultures that have a far far lower out of wedlock birth rates.



Rockhead
 
  4  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 02:38 pm
@BillRM,
you are describing "gangsta" culture.

not black culture...
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 02:44 pm
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
How could your friend have married a black guy and had family with him and still feel that way? I don't get it. What does her husband think about that? I'd think it would be a little offensive


She came to that conclusion after being married to him and watching her then husband cheat with every female he could get his hands on and being hit upon in turn by many of his black male friends.With black married "friends" of his coming to her and stating that since her husband is cheating on her she should consider getting back on him by cheating with them.

Yes white men do cheat also however once more it is not as must a culture norm as it seems to be in the black community.

Once more I refer you to the out of wedlock birth rate existing in the black community.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 02:50 pm
@Rockhead,
Quote:
you are describing "gangsta" culture.


Oh a black college professor was a member of gangsta culture in the late 1950s on?

The black men who also tend to be well educated and successful who hit on her in turn was also not members of the black culture but gangsta culture decades ago?
Rockhead
 
  4  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 02:52 pm
@BillRM,
you're a goober...
GracieGirl
 
  4  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 03:14 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Racism DOES make people say or do mean things to other races. Examples : The N word, slavery, calling Mexicans beaners, calling white people crackers, the holocaust, lynchings, Jim Crow laws, stupid stereotype and the lists goes on and on and on. Duh David! Come on, you've been alive WAY longer than I have. How could you not see these things? What planet are you living on? Shocked

When I said it's understandable but that doesn't make it 'OK' I meant that. I understand how some races could feel badly toward other racists but that doesn't make it ALRIGHT.

Let's use my aunt and cousin for example here. I could understand how my aunt could hate Mexicans because of what happened to her daughter but would hating all Mexicans be right, fair, just? NOPE. It wouldn't because it's not ALL Mexicans fault that it happened.

So, yeah I get why a Jew could hate Germans because of the Holocaust and everything but it just because it's understandabvle doesn't mean it's alright because not all Germans were responsible for the Holocaust. You should feel be angry with the person/people who hurt you but not everyone who is the same race as that person/group of people.

Another way to prove my point. It would be Understandable for a black person to hate white people because of what happened in the past but just because you could understand why they feel the way they do, does that mean the way they feel is okay or fair?
I'm white and Tyler's black. Would it be okay for Tyler to hate me, insult me or hurt me because of what other white people did to him or his ancestors in the past? I've never done anything to Tyler or his family. Should I be hated or blamed because of what other people that have the same color skin as I do did to his ancestors years ago? Should I be called names or be looked at as 'less than' because of things that I can't control, like my skin color? Should Tyler be treated that way?

That's why I hate racists and racism David. We're all people. Just because I'm white doesnt mean I'm better than anybody else and just because Tyler's black doesn't mean he isn't good enough. Do you really not see that? Being a racist is not Ok. It's not something to be proud of. Open your history books and look back on all the terrible things that people have done because of racism. Why does race matter soo much? What makes white people better than anyone else? I'm white, I love who I am and I love being me but that doesn't mean I think I'm better than black people or Mexicans or Chinese or whatever.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 03:19 pm
@Rockhead,
Quote:
you're a goober...


Do you not love the internet...............


http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-of/goober
goober

noun
•a goofy, silly, or slightly strange person.
Dawn is such a goober.
◦See more words with the same meaning: crazy, insane, weird, strange person.
◦See more words with the same meaning: uncool person, jerk, asshole (general insults - list of).
Originally submitted by Sarah M. from Mt. Pleasant, OH, USA on May 30 1998. (Edit this definition.)

•general insult for an "uncool" person; LOSER; DORK.
That goober, dresses like my great grandma.
That guy is a total goober.
◦See more words with the same meaning: uncool person, jerk, asshole (general insults - list of).
Originally submitted by Kati and Betsey from USA on Oct 24 1999. (Edit this definition.)

•an unintelligent person.
He is such a goober.
◦See more words with the same meaning: unintelligent person, idiot.
Originally submitted by shad on Jul 04 2002. (Edit this definition.)

•a peanut. Also goober peas.
I like goobers.
Originally submitted by Wiley Coyote on Feb 26 2010. (Edit this definition.)

•penis.
He got hit in the crotch and it hurt his goober.
Originally submitted by Wiley Coyote on Feb 26 2010. (Edit this definition.)

Add a definition for this slang term.



Slang terms with the same root words:
•goober: goofy goober
Interactive stats:



Rockhead
 
  4  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 03:23 pm
@BillRM,
admitting it is the first step in treatment...
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 03:26 pm
@Rockhead,
Quote:
admitting it is the first step in treatment...


LOL..........
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:00 pm
@Roberta,
Hi Roboida! Haha! J/k Laughing

Yea. Your right. It's just that whenever I hear the word racist I just think of people that hate other people for no reason. And people that do terrible things. But yeah, racists are people too. I guess Im judging them a little harshly but it's just that I HATE racism. I don't understand it. Why can't people just judge people by WHO they are and not WHAT they are? It seems soo simple to me but you grown-ups (not you specifically Roberta) are making it soo complicated. Sad
0 Replies
 
aidan
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:03 pm
As to your original question, I have two children - a boy and a girl- and I would not be worried or surprised or harbor any negative feelings about them dating or marrying out of their own race which for my son would mean not dating or marrying a black or white woman as he is interracial in that I am white and his father is black.
For my daughter, who we adopted, I'm not sure who she'd have to marry to marry out of her own race because all I know is that her birth mother is African-American. We don't know anything about her birth father - only that he's probably not black as she looks as interracial as my son - so her birth father could have been white, although I think she has a hispanic look to her so I've always thought her birth father must have been hispanic.

Both of my children, so far, have only dated white people. My daughter has been going with a white guy for almost two years and my son seems more drawn to white girls than black girls - I don't know why. In fact this summer he told me he'd met a girl in the US where he was working at a camp who he liked more than any other girl he'd ever liked so far and she was from Alabama. I said, 'Wow! Is she white or black?' He said, 'White - why?' and my next question was, 'Really - do you think her parents will be okay with this?' and he said, 'I don't know - why' and I said, 'Because I don't believe very many white people in Alabama would be happy about their daughter bringing home anything other than a white boy.'

My parents were from Texas and fundamentalist Christians but they had no problem with my interracial dating and marriage and in fact my mother has always gotten along really, really well with the guy I married as personality wise they are very, very much alike.

I grew up in New Jersey and all of my siblings married white New Jerseyans. But truth be told, because my parents were southern, although we were situated in New Jersey, we were raised with very strong southern cultural influences in our home and church, very similiar to my husband who grew up in the south in a religious household very much like mine, except for the fact that his family was black and mine was white.
So actually, although he is black, he is much more like my parents than any of their other white, native New Jerseyan daughter or sons-in-laws.

Personally, living here in England, I really miss African-American culture and I would be overjoyed if my children met and fell in love with an African-American.

And please tell your friend that although I was warned that it would be really, really hard to have an interracial marriage and interracial children - in my case, I haven't run into very many issues or problems at all and I know that my children haven't suffered for it - in fact- I know that both of them feel that they have the best of both worlds being able to experience so much cultural diversity within their family.

But I also have to add that my parents were both very supportive of me - to the point where my dad said, 'It might be really hard Rebecca, but you are my daughter and I love you and I will support you in anything you do. '
I still have the letter he wrote me about it in which he said that he thought my husband was a great guy and he would be proud to have him as a son-in- law.
And because I had asked him what to do about inviting certain members of his family who were racist to the wedding, he said, 'Invite them all and if they don't want to come, don't worry about it - that's their problem.'

It might be a lot harder for someone whose family was not supportive. In fact, any family member who acted like that would be the biggest problem this interracial couple would ever run into in my opinion. They might want to think the rest of the world would make it hard for their kids, when really their own bias and prejudice would be more of a problem and more hurtful for them.
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:04 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
I don't agree. I'm not racist, I've never been racists and I never will be. Racism is shameful, don't you think?

Saying black people are better athletes seems like more of a stereotype. Right? I don't necessarily think it's true either, but that's just me. Smile Wink
GracieGirl
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:10 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Rolling Eyes Whatever. I think I've explained myself enough. There's really not much more I can say. I'm tired of the back and forth. I can tell you were a lawyer David. Your really good at arguing. Laughing

I hear what your saying but I dont agree. Debating won't change my mind or yours so let's stop, K? Wink

0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:12 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Rolling Eyes Whatever. I think I've explained myself enough. There's really not much more I can say. I'm tired of the back and forth. I can tell you were a lawyer David. Your really good at arguing. Laughing

I hear what your saying but I dont agree. Debating won't change my mind or yours so let's stop, K? Wink

But I'm curious, and I don't mean to be offensive and you don't have to answer if you don't want to okay? But are you racist? Would you be okay with your kid dating someone who was a different race?

Like I said, you don't have to answer and I'm not trying to be offensive or anything. Just curious. Smile

0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:15 pm
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
Saying black people are better athletes seems like more of a stereotype. Right? I don't necessarily think it's true either, but that's just me.


Do not watch profession basketball games with a color TV set. Drunk
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:18 pm
@Foofie,
The only way mixed kids would have a hard time is if they had to deal with racists idiots. I'm sorry but I think that's crap. Why is race soo important? No one can answer me that. If the person is nice to your daughter, respects her and loves her then what does it matter what race he is? It makes no sense to me. Come on guys, your Adults. How come I can see this and you guys can't? It's really disappointing. Am I really the only one here who feels the way I do? Jesus.... Confused Neutral Sad
hamilton
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:34 pm
@GracieGirl,
GracieGirl wrote:


I mean, I just don't see the big deal. I'd date any guy. As long as they were taller and a little older than me. (I like tall guys and most of the guys I know are older because of school).

so i qualify?
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:36 pm
@GracieGirl,
Race as in what DNA grouping happen to made up your background and such minor things as skin color/tone is completely unimportant the culture you are a part of however tend to be far more important.

Only when and where race can be used as a good to fair marker for likely memberships in cultures or sub-cultures does it in fact have any meaning at all except for things like blood grouping in medical situations.

Oh and if you are getting together a basketball team. Laughing
0 Replies
 
GracieGirl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:37 pm
@BillRM,
I'm not saying I'm more of an expert. Rolling Eyes I mean, obviously I'm not since I came here asking questions and stuff. But what your saying isn't making sense to me. I have black friends, some are guys, most are girls and they're not part of this 'black culture' your talking about. Tyler's just the opposite actually. I mean some kids I know, white AND black, think it's cool to be a player or whatever but it's not because of culture. Rolling Eyes

And also, my grandpa is very white (LOL) and very racists. He's been married to my grandma for 40 years and has cheated on her too many times to count. He has 3 kids (adults) with my grandma and 4 kids with 2 other women he's cheated on her with. His youngest kid, my uncle, is 4 years old. I have a freaking 4 year old uncle dude! Haha! So, obviously whether someone cheats or not depends on the guy not the race. I dong know why my grandma is still married to him.

And who cares about wedlock? I'm never getting married. I don't want to. Marriages never lasts anyway, so when I grow up and if I have kids they're gonna be wedlock. Does that mean I'm a bad person? Rolling Eyes
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Sep, 2011 04:42 pm
@GracieGirl,
Quote:
And who cares about wedlock? I'm never getting married. I don't want to. Marriages never lasts anyway, so when I grow up and if I have kids they're gonna be wedlock. Does that mean I'm a bad person?


No it does not mean you are a bad person just young and hopefully you will mature enough not to have kids born from the start behind the 8 ball of life as kids deserve to have the best start possible in life.

And from all the numbers children born out of wedlock already are being given a severe handicapped in life.
 

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