Is dating someone who's a different race okay?

@Lustig Andrei,

Well, that's what they do, obsessive bunch.

On multi cultural - within the last few days, there has been a serious earthquake in Sikkim. I slightly relate to this personally, besides caring how people there are doing.

One of my cousins married while pregnant the brother of Hope Cooke, who married the then King of Sikkim. I looked Hope Cooke up on Wiki, and the brother is not mentioned - he must have been the bad boy of the family, the brother, I mean. I met him, once, have no reason to either believe or doubt. I believed that then, on my cousin's explanations.

I wildly conjecture that he was a half brother. But, of course, maybe not.

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@BillRM,

BillRM wrote:

Quote:
I gotta say: non-judicial breaking up has proven to be a lot faster n easier.

With children involved born inside the relationship and out of wedlock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Calm down. This is all for instance. You know Im a teenager and I cant even date yet right? Shocked

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@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

firefly wrote:
You sound very sensible, GracieGirl, and quite able to think for yourself.
You'll have all kinds of options open to you down the road,
and you won't have to fit into anyone's mold of how you should live your life.
If I were Gracie, I 'd feel very insulted
by the condescension of these patronizing compliments instead of accepting her as an equal.

No I'm not offended. Firefly was being nice and it was a compliment. Thanks David, but that's okay. Wink

1 Reply

@GracieGirl,

BillRM wrote:

Quote:
I gotta say: non-judicial breaking up has proven to be a lot faster n easier.

With children involved born inside the relationship and out of wedlock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GracieGirl wrote:

Calm down. This is all for instance. You know Im a teenager and I cant even date yet right?

We DON 'T know that 13 year old girls cannot date, tho that be true in some instances.

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Well, I cant. Or atleast my dad doesnt want me to. I still do kinda, I guess.

2 Replies

@GracieGirl,

Quote:

Calm down. This is all for instance. You know Im a teenager and I cant even date yet right?

I am calm but such statements should be challenge.........................

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@GracieGirl,

firefly wrote:

You sound very sensible, GracieGirl, and quite able to think for yourself.
You'll have all kinds of options open to you down the road,
and you won't have to fit into anyone's mold of how you should live your life.

OmSigDAVID wrote:

If I were Gracie, I 'd feel very insulted
by the condescension of these patronizing compliments instead of accepting her as an equal.

GracieGirl wrote:

No I'm not offended. Firefly was being nice and it was a compliment. Thanks David, but that's okay.

I may be old on the outside,
but I 'm still a kid on the inside.

(Note that it is possible [and common] to maliciously insult someone with a compliment.)

David

3 Replies

Just as an aside -- while I agree that wedlock is not required for happy and healthy families, people really misunderstand how common divorce is. It is far less common than most people think.

For my demographic, for example (people who have completed college), my chance of divorce is only 17%.

I can track down those stats for you if you're interested.*

It's amazing how many people believe the "more than half of marriages end in divorce" thing.

- Signed, married for 15 years

*Aw what the heck, here we go:

Quote:

But divorce statistics, which have followed a steady downward slope since their 1980 peak, reveal another interesting trend: According to a 2010 study by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, only 11 percent of college-educated Americans divorce within the first 10 years today, compared with almost 37 percent for the rest of the population.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/19/fashion/how-divorce-lost-its-cachet.html

The 17% one was from something else about divorcing at all, not just in the first 10 years.

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@OmSigDAVID,

thank you for pointing that out, dave.

you're very helpful that way...

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

I may be old on the outside,
but I 'm still a kid on the inside.

David

Haha! Where'd that come from? Random.... Laughing

Anyway, I dont think she meant it in a mean way David. I'll take it as a compliment.

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@GracieGirl,

GracieGirl wrote:

Well, I cant. Or atleast my dad doesnt want me to. I still do kinda, I guess.

In your opening paragraf of this thread,
u said that your friend (same age?) was going to date, regardless of parental desires.
THAT has been going on for centuries, that we know of.
( I don 't mean inter-racially; no reference to that.)

David

1 Reply

@Rockhead,

Rockhead wrote:

thank you for pointing that out, dave.

you're very helpful that way...

See, Gracie?
Rocky does it all the time.

( So do I. )

David

1 Reply

@sozobe,

Whoa! You've been married for 15 years?! Jeez...

Well that's great sozobe! And I hope you stay married and happy forever but I don't wanna get married. Seems like alot of people get divorced, way more than that. I've never seen anyone stay married except my grandparents and I wish they would get a divorce.

Marriage doesnt seem all that important to me. I dont see what the big deal is. You can love someone without getting married. You can have a great family without getting married. Sozobe, when you got married did it change anything? Wouldnt you have been just as happy if you and your husband didnt get married but stayed together for all those years?

2 Replies

@OmSigDAVID,

No, Krystal and Tyler are 16 and 17. Im 13. Most of my friends are older than me because of school.

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@sozobe,

Thanks for the numbers...........

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@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

Rockhead wrote:
thank you for pointing that out, dave.

you're very helpful that way...
See, Gracie?
Rocky does it all the time.

( So do I. )

David

Haha!!

0 Replies

@GracieGirl,

GracieGirl wrote:

Well, I cant. Or atleast my dad doesnt want me to. I still do kinda, I guess.

When I was 13, a girl in my class
really rocked my world (very unexpectedly) in my emotions.
I was not expecting social overtures.
It took me a few decades to get over that.
I did not know for several decades that her father had prohibitied her
from dating until she was 16.

David

1 Reply

@GracieGirl,

http://wingnutwatch.typepad.com/wingnutwatch/2010/05/research-findings-that-show-cohabiting-couples-break-up-at-much-higher-rates-than-married-people.html

Cohabiting couples break up at MUCH higher rates than married people.
Cohabiting parents break up at much higher rates than married parents.6
6 McManus, 2008, p. 41.
Do not cohabit if children are involved. Children need and should have parents who are committed to staying together over the long term. Cohabiting parents break up at a much higher rate than married parents and the effects of breakup can be devastating and often long lasting. Moreover, children living in cohabiting unions are at higher risk of sexual abuse and physical violence, including lethal violence, than are children living with married parents.
One of the greatest problems for children living with a cohabiting couple is the high risk that the couple will break up.25
Fully three quarters of children born to cohabiting parents will see their parents split up before they reach age sixteen, whereas only about a third of children born to married parents face a similar fate Parental break up, as is now widely known, almost always entails a myriad of personal and social difficulties for children, some of which can be long lasting. For the children of a cohabiting couple these may come on top of a plethora of already existing problems. One study found that children currently living with a mother and her unmarried partner had significantly more behavior problems and lower academic performance than children from intact families.27
25. Zheng Wu, "The Stability of Cohabitation Relationships: The Role of Children."Journal of Marriage and the Family 57:231-236.
27. Elizabeth Thompson, T. L. Hanson and S. S. McLanahan.. "Family Structure and Child Well-Being: Economic Resources versus Parental Behaviors." Social Forces 73-1:221-242.
cohabiting couples break up at a rate five times higher than for married couples

1 Reply

@GracieGirl,

GracieGirl wrote:

Sozobe, when you got married did it change anything?

It did. We were together for four years before we got married (together for 19 years total so far) and we didn't actually expect it to change anything. But it did.

Note -- I'm absolutely not saying that everyone should or must get married. I know several successful long-term relationships where the partners didn't get married.

I'm just saying that the supposed inevitability of divorce is not, itself, a good reason to avoid marriage. Because that's been really exaggerated.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

You keep barraging Gracie with your extreme views. You and Bill are almost all we see here, preying obsessively. She is doing very well in responding, which bodes well for her in life, but the rest of us are getting sick of it. Gracie is polite and answers each post, while many of us on a2k have put one or the other or both of you on ignore for incessant posts long ago. It is a kind of internet battery.

No, I am not censoring you. Just speaking up.

3 Replies

Is dating someone who's a different race okay?

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